Today, I kept my cats indoors to be safe on Halloween, making sure to keep the food full and litter boxes clean. After dinner, I got dressed up and spent two hours at a party. When I got home, there was a large, rancid butt-loaf waiting on my bed. Unappreciative little fuckers. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home from holiday, only to find my house full of small decomposing animals, courtesy of my cat. FML
Today, after feeding my cats, I walked out of the room. Five minutes later, I heard one of them making a hacking sound. Knowing the outcome, I went to get some paper towels to wipe up the mess. When I went in, my other cat was eating it. Certain things cannot be unseen. FML
Today, I made my way to bed around 4am after spending all night hanging out with my family. When I got to my bed, I started to clear a spot to lay down. Almost immediately, my hand touched something furry and cold and, fearing the worst, I turned the light on. Turns out my cat left me a half eaten rodent. FML
Today, I came home from the hospital after six days. Despite having a cat sitter, they managed to shit on the bathroom floor and pee on my bed in protest for being gone too long. FML
Today, I got home after a spending a week recovery from surgery. My neighbour had been feeding my cat whilst I was away. Exhausted, I went straight to my bedroom where I soon discovered that my cat had shat on my pillows, duvet, and pyjamas. FML
Today, I finally got myself settled into bed around 2 in the morning after a very long day. My cat started to snuggle with me when I smelled something disgusting. Turns out my cat sharted in my bed. FML
Today, my mom sent me home with some delicious-looking BBQ ribs because I'd missed a cookout due to work. I set them on the counter, intent on putting them in the oven, but had to make a quick run to the bathroom. I came back to find my roommate's cat sitting in the plate, covered in sauce, as he helped himself. FML
Today, I worked a 12-hour shift. Today my parents' cat also had diarrhoea. Rather than clean it up when said cat projectile shat all through my bed, they simply closed my door and left it for me. Since it's in my room, apparently it's my problem. They can't understand why I'm pissed. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML
Today, I bought a Halloween costume for my cat. FML
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Top comments
Rabite 28
If you expect your cats to appreciate it when you care for them in the most basic way, then maybe you shouldn't have cats.
mohamed_H 21
They're cats what the hell did you expect... those furry bastards think they are gods
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Comments (40)
RichardPencil 32
"This one is for not bringing us with you to the party!" You should've put on a gray wig, horn-rimmed glasses and an ugly sweater, brought your cats with you and gone as "Your Future Self."
mohamed_H 21
They're cats what the hell did you expect... those furry bastards think they are gods
Rabite 28
If you expect your cats to appreciate it when you care for them in the most basic way, then maybe you shouldn't have cats.
joseraph 4
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
And yet everytime I say cats are pure evil I get looked down upon. Get a dog OP. When you feed and care for a dog, it thinks you're a god. If you do the same for a cat, it thinks it's a god.
tigeresscrazy 12
I don't agree that cats are evil but I do agree that they think they are gods
gracehi 33
Because no dog has ever pooped on someone's bed.
LyricaSilvan 30
To be fair, they were treated like gods in ancient Egypt. I imagine they haven't ever really gotten over the change.
EmoRockChic 11
Not all cats are bastards. My cat thinks I'm a god just because I put food down for her. Some cats can be bastards though but not all
DoomedGemini 38
We had a dog known for revenge pooping on the bed. And dogs who are just assholes and pee on the bed for no reason.
Catdragon 40
I beg to differ. I scolded my dog for pooping on the floor and I stepped in it when I woke up. That night, she pooped in my bed right between my legs. I rolled in it when I woke up. She was getting revenge.
joeyl1990 28
You deserve it for saying "butt-loaf".
Survivor_22 7
What are butt-loafs?
ozzytiff 13
I'm going to assume it took a shit.
KrDizzy 16
I never understood why people let their cats run free, anyway. I always keep mine inside because of the dangers and as a courtesy to the people around me, since my neighbor's cats love to dig up my garden to piss and shit in it and lay all over my car. I've also had friends lose cats to coyotes or vehicles. No thanks. Rather keep mine inside where she belongs.
ClairvoyantVamp 19
That is all true and why my cats are indoors only, but some cats are absolutely miserable if they can't go outside. It's not usually a problem if you keep an eye on them, control when they can go out, and keep them in your yard.
GhostFox 34
The problem is that most people that let their cats outside honestly think it's safe to let the cat roam around unsupervised for as far as the cat wants. Unless you are taking the cat out on a leash or letting them out in a completely enclosed area (including a roof), the cat is at risk. The only situation that's even remotely ok if if the cat is a rat catcher on a farm to keep mice out of the storage.
nevereyes 31
I have both indoor and outdoor cats, why? Mice and other rodents (I live on an acreage in a forest). Mind you many of my outdoor cats are basically feral/wild and they have their own cat house/shelter (can comfortably fit 50 cats)
tigeresscrazy 12
My parents hook their cat out on a dog run cats happy cause it gets outside my parents are happy cause their cat is safe
InnocenceBlue 38
My cat once shit on my bed while I was at work all day...my family decided rather than clean it up they'd leave it for over 8 hours. I came home to rancid diarrhoea strewn through my sheets and soaked into my mattress. That was not a good day. I feel your pain OP. Cats are amazing but also the worst.
Geckosrock99 33
Same thing happened to me, but with my iguana. Iguana wasn't left home alone, but nobody felt like cleaning it up. I almost layed in it. Everyone got told off, because if I can't get away with that, neither should they.
blupenguin29 14
That's why I'm a dog person.
species4872 20
Yeah every time you eat look at the dog, the dog's like Me, got some for me, me, me, where's mine.
species4872 20
me.
species4872 20
me.
CastaP 12
love the word 'Butt-loaf' :D
jonny201 11
And this is why dogs are better