Today, I stayed up until 4 am. I was waiting for both my cats to fall asleep, so I could play Santa and stuff their stockings in secret. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I waited anxiously until midnight to open my Christmas presents. As the clock struck midnight, I ran out into the living room, super-excited to open them, only to discover that everyone in our house had already opened theirs, and had all gone to bed. FML
Today, I went Christmas shopping for my cat. I still haven't bought presents for my family, yet my cat already has several small gifts under the tree and an outfit to wear around the house. I really need a new hobby. FML
Today, my family decided to break tradition and wake up at midnight to open presents. I didn't find out until I went downstairs to get a glass of water in the middle of the night, and found wrapping paper and empty boxes everywhere. FML
Today, I realized I've lived alone too long. I read 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas' to my cat. I used expression in my voice, and I made sure he could see the pictures. My son called, and I told him about it. He gave me the number for the local psychiatric ward. FML
Today, I kept my cats indoors to be safe on Halloween, making sure to keep the food full and litter boxes clean. After dinner, I got dressed up and spent two hours at a party. When I got home, there was a large, rancid butt-loaf waiting on my bed. Unappreciative little fuckers. FML
Today, to try to have a less depressing Christmas, I've put up a small tree in my apartment and wrapped some presents for myself. I woke from a nap to the sound of my cat vomiting. What did she throw up on? The presents. FML
Today, I waited until the last minute to do my Christmas shopping. Today, I also discovered that my bank account has been frozen due to suspicious activity. FML
Today, my girlfriend begged me to stay up late and video chat with her because she missed me. Even though I work early mornings, I reluctantly agreed. After waiting up until 2am for her to get online, I gave up. She had fallen asleep. FML
Today, I got up at 2 AM to grab a snack. I quietly crept down the stairs, only to find my dad, mom, and a couple of their friends having a secret poker game. Now they think I have a sleepwalking problem. FML
Today, after spending hours wrapping the presents for Christmas, I came back into the room to find that my dog had lost his toy, knocked over all the presents, and was frantically ripping at everything to find it. FML
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Top comments
Araoth 5
Did you dress as cat Santa? :)
Mr25_fml 14
Mr. Kibbles GO BACK TO SLEEP OR SANTA WON'T COME!!!! *Insert troll face here*
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Comments (286)
The_creator_fml 2
Because if they were awake they would have known what you were doing...
ms_YoungMula 8
Aaww that's so gre...oh wait did you say cats, now that's kinda weird
Feklfekl2222 32
Cats are clever they would understand
elite_stoner 0
can I get your pikacat high?
Scands_59 14
Ohhh no- crazy person alert x_x
Zareen 0
Just because someone has a cat and or does that doesn't mean their crazy...she probably loves them and treats them like her children!
alliewillie 22
It's not that she has a cat or loves them. I have them too. It's that she stayed up till 4 am to "stuff their stockings in secret". That's sad. Put them in another room. Or better yet come to the realization that they don't know what you're doing anyway.
weatherxveins 29
Yeah, I'm wondering why OP didn't just put them somewhere else..another room/floor..
silentbutfunny 0
In otherwords: reality check?
HeYHiTmEUp 2
Which would make OP crazy
graham11 14
17- umm yes it does. I don't know one normal person who waits for their cats to fall asleep so they can stuff their stockings.
TimeDisposalEngi 14
Cats are dumb...
meeeeoooww 0
Cats are clever actually
thiscrazything 1
Yes, I will probably get thumbed down, but this is on the edge of insanity. I have several cats, three dogs, and love them all. But seriously, they are not people. They don't know about Christmas and they don't care about stockings! If you think they do, then you are on the edge of insanity too, so I guess you may as well enjoy it.
a_tadych593 0
hahaha. that's kind of weird..
tweiler 15
That sounds perfectly reasonable to me :-) But I am looking forward to my future as a crazy spinster cat lady so maybe you shouldn't pay attention to what I say.
uzworm 4
And then your cats used the stockings as scratching posts.
krisymisy 0
Lol
xoxPatrina 8
You need to get married.
StreetReaper 9
She needs to get therapy.
xoxPatrina 8
She needs a life.... Lmao.
McMan 23
Normally I'd say that is pretty narrow-minded and that if a person wants to live in a way that makes them happy and isn't hurting anyone else they can but since this is on FML I guess the OP wants a "life".
graham11 14
Eharmony?
A7X_LoVeee 10
Don't really see how getting married would change things much. Refer to #58.
ImaginaryFoe 1
She might be. An acquanitance was this, uh, dedicated to her dogs and she was married. They referred to them as children and the first year I knew her, I thought she was talking about actual children.
jebac801 0
The minute u turn 18. Call me
xoxPatrina 8
Who are you talking to...
StreetReaper 9
122 I believe 118 is (s)talking about you.
xoxPatrina 8
Oh jeez.... I'll pass, because obviously that means he's over 18 & I'm getting creeped on... Ew.
graham11 14
151- I think they were creepin on me;) my profile pic is just so cute!
foreveraloneXC 10
Dead sexy...
EnchantedKitten 16
Who said she wasn't married?
ClaytonAwesome 0
That can't be healthy.....
Calyx_fml 22
Krampus is coming for your kittens
btstig 11
Hurray for Krampus!!!
kyarush 10
LIFE. get one.
derpster 7
HUMOR. get some.
kyarush 10
I didn't find it very funny. Pretty pathetic actually. Plus I hate cats.