Today, I spent the whole day seeing how many licks it would take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop: 763. I'm 24. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was holding a lit cigarette in one hand and a lollipop in the other. Guess which one I licked? FML
Today, I had a big craving for a popsicle so I went to a convenience store and bought one. On my first bite, my upper lip got stuck to it. I ripped it off and spent the next 10 minutes trying to stop the bleeding from the giant cut I'd put in my lip. It hurt too much to finish the popsicle. FML
Today, I was watching TV when a Dentyne gum commercial came on and stated that the average person spends more than 20,000 minutes kissing. I've spent less than three. FML
Today, I cracked my tooth. I was so tired I put my pretzel stick in my tea and took a bite out of my spoon. FML
Today, at the age of 22, I started eating my boogers. FML
Today, I have been on the toilet all day due to chocolate laxatives from trick-or-treating. Today, it is my birthday. FML
Today, because I'm tall enough to see over the cubicle walls at work, I witnessed my 50-year-old co-worker pulling his finger out of his nose and immediately popping it into his mouth. FML
Today, I gave my kid some Pop Rocks. He shoveled a handful in his mouth, then screamed when they started popping and spat them all over the carpet. FML
Today, my 2 year-old had a large booger blocking his nose so I pulled it out. I was on the phone and absentmindedly rolling it around between my thumb and pointer finger. I put it in my mouth and crushed it between my teeth for a solid minute before I remembered what it was. FML
Today, my grocery shopping consisted of Poptarts, SpaghettiOs, Lucky Charms, Popsicles, Easy Mac, and Twinkies. I'm a 25-year-old woman with no kids. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Ilovelife07 0
Serves that asshole Mr. Owl right, somebody was bound to foil his plans to keep the answer from the world
starbucks14 0
I wouldn't have wasted my entire day on that but i think the fact that you accomplished something like that is kind of cool, then again I'm 15. ♥
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (420)
game_over_fml 0
all I have to say is THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I now know!
ashbaby010 0
what a pathetic life. seriously. do you not have any friends? because this might be why..
Alkron 0
As number 6 said, You're my hero
TBD3 0
This isn't a FML. This is AWESOME!
kdaddy 0
your a hero
jackinthebox7865 0
your my hero lol ever since i first saw that commercial with the little boy and the asshole of an owl i have wondered and now i know thanks lol sorry u had to waste your whole day tho
123la 0
THANK YOU!
Elizabeth_495_xo 0
IVE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO THAT!!!!!!!!!!!! i thought it was always 3 though like on the comercials
WitchCirce 0
When I tried that back when I was ten, it took me only 233 licks. Maybe I had really acidic saliva or something. Anyway, FYL just because it took you the whole day to do it.
brittanyjune 0
aww thats so cute :D