Today, my 2 year-old had a large booger blocking his nose so I pulled it out. I was on the phone and absentmindedly rolling it around between my thumb and pointer finger. I put it in my mouth and crushed it between my teeth for a solid minute before I remembered what it was. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was driving in my car with my daughter, who was eating a nutri-grain bar. After a while she holds out her hand saying, "It's on my finger! I don't wanna eat it!" I pick up the little piece of nutri-grain filling and put it in my mouth, only to realize it was a large booger. FML
Today, I reached to pick out a booger stuck in my nose that had been irritating me, and ended up poking myself in the eye. FML
Today, I’ve had a blocked nose for weeks, so when I sneezed I partially dislodged a massive solid booger. It was so big and thick, I had to grab it and pull it the rest of the way out. I was on a first date at the time, and he left before I got back from the bathroom. FML
Today, I was looking at my wedding pictures I had just ordered and I tried to flick something off one of the pictures, but it wouldn't come off. In a panic I quickly looked through all of my pictures and realized that I had a booger sticking out of my nose. No one told me. FML
Today, I was picking my nose so aggressively that I flicked a booger right into my eye. FML
Today, I went out to lunch on my break. When I got back to work, I noticed I had something in my teeth. After trying to get it out with my tongue, I finally went to my car for some floss. I ended up pulling a 4 inch pube out of my back teeth. It certainly wasn't mine. FML
Today, I was absentmindedly playing with a piece of lint. When I looked at it, I realized that I had been rolling and squeezing a dead spider in my fingers for about five minutes. FML
Today, one of my nostrils became completely blocked. At lunch time, I went out to my car to dig into my nose. When I finished, I held up the cornflake sized booger in victory. I noticed too late that my boss was in a car adjacent to me, shooting me a horrified look. FML
Today, I watched in horror from the other room as my boyfriend picked the biggest, slimiest booger I've ever seen, then lowered it into his mouth, and licked his finger clean. I very nearly threw up. FML
Today, while I was at my girlfriend's parents' house for dinner, and I thought no one was looking, I picked my nose and put it underneath my chair. Turns out she has a little brother who found it appropriate to point at me and scream, "Booger monster, Booger monster!" FML
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Top comments
Quest_ 13
That is ******* disgusting. I think I hate you for putting the scenario in my head. Also, YDI for absentmindedly playing with your child's snot instead of putting it straight in the trash. Or, say, removing it with a tissue in the first place.
o_ospacedout 0
eww that's soo gross!
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Comments (238)
o_ospacedout 0
eww that's soo gross!
Jekkiie 0
I bet you liked it. if you didn't you wudda spat it out immediatly.
brianred5 0
12 has a point
trizzieb 0
That is sick. You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose but you can't pick your friends nose.
ohSNAPyall 27
You may think it's funny, but it's snot.
gabirolon 1
well u can't pick ur kids bit u can pick ur kids nose!! lol
samantha_durano 6
40 you would know. hahah :)
llAllStarll 0
lol #38
CallMeHush 1
@40 That little diddy pre-dates the Disney Channel, sometimes old is new again. You think it's funny but it's not,
Joey7361 0
@45 how do u pick your kids!!!! It would be awesome if I could
xocourtxo 0
it was her son..... not her friends. read it propeyrly .
sublimaze 6
I can just imagine what you do with last night's cum boogers
Crickets 0
LOL 38.... Im dying here.. Such a lame joke but I can't stop laughing xD
giggity123 0
EWWWWWWWWWW
willrh102291 0
lol at 38 XD
ScaryyMary 14
Uh... people have been saying the pick your friends/pick your nose quote for a very long time, probably longer than Disney channel has been around...
iSwag 0
I almost threw up
dp0515 0
@63 she said CAIN'T pick your kids.
thewoodridgekid 0
ha I get it #38
ImaginaryFoe 1
Why wouldn't you have used a tissue to begin with? Or thrown in the trash on a tissue immediately? Why would you start playing with it and why would it take a minute before you spit it out? Why??? Disgusting
bethanysaccount 0
lol 38 win
soccerrocks 0
adopt
kcyrusm 0
This is why woman shouldn't drive cars while talking on cell phones. Women phones = absent-minded'ness.
Blondie08_fml 0
idiot
Itsmekenzie97 0
Dude this is nasty! that's disgusting! I like almost puked! :P
milo9_fml 0
#143.. uhhh sexist much ?
TheBreaKer_fml 0
hahaha nice one
daneeyoll 0
rofl win #38
ohSNAPyall 27
Yay, I'm glad everyone liked that. Want to hear the full thing? If you kiss your honey, and her nose is runny, you may think it's funny, but it's snot!
kristen_lesli 0
ha! :D that is too funny! :D
Dalidax3 0
Haha #38.
Gumblebum100 0
@38 lmao I had no idea what u meant by that and everyone's like that was highlarious #38!! and I'm like what?? so after 4 minutes of trying to figure it out I finally got it and couldn't stop laughing for 3 minutes because 1. me pparently dumb for no getting joke 2. it was lame which made it highlarious
ajrhockey5 0
******* DISCUSTING!
hijueputa 0
@ kcyrusm, 100% agree, you are absolutely right...
k_double_a 0
that's amazing.....good job!
drewbell 0
haha!
frictionary 0
@38 you, my friend, are my new hero
Bullet4MyChemaMo 12
@38 Hahahaha XD
littlemissxtc 0
@77 just when u think the fml can't get worse... u illustrate that it can! cum boogers = a little bit of vomit!
willou35_fml 13
ow
steffex 0
bad parent dont eat stuff that aint to go inside your mouth!
georgiinaa 0
hahahahahahahha
LinsKitty 0
#71, maybe u should spell "propeyrly".
deannamarie12 0
eww gross!
loveyoy22 0
#38 ohhh I get it(:
rymadness 0
hahaha
wellinever 5
Aaargh! Yuk. Concentrate woman.
Boddmon 0
I just gagged.
Lethario14 0
omf that iz so grossss!!!
iBlamethetruth 9
you're not the only one :(
DrMild 0
Same here.
Quest_ 13
That is ******* disgusting. I think I hate you for putting the scenario in my head. Also, YDI for absentmindedly playing with your child's snot instead of putting it straight in the trash. Or, say, removing it with a tissue in the first place.
babybubz 0
i concur..
Novogrod 0
I agree.
honestlove11 0
right? thats sooo nasty. why would someone pick the kids nose in the first place? they obviously eat their own if it was so easy for them to roll it around and eat it without thinking about it...
kitzukitten715 0
that's what you get for being absentminded.
mexicantumblewee 0
your effing disgusting.
TandJHire 0
Ewwww!!! I have a son and I have never done that so YDI that is so gross.
Enoch134 0
wow milf much
DonkeyDelight 0
Milf.
thecbake4 0
milf milf milf milf
aardvarkish 17
oral fixation?
Misericordia 0
well that's disgusting...
IlikePancakesAnd 0
Lmao
MndM 0
haha yes i agree WHY?? hahha