Today, I spent the whole day seeing how many licks it would take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop: 763. I'm 24. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was holding a lit cigarette in one hand and a lollipop in the other. Guess which one I licked? FML
Today, I had a big craving for a popsicle so I went to a convenience store and bought one. On my first bite, my upper lip got stuck to it. I ripped it off and spent the next 10 minutes trying to stop the bleeding from the giant cut I'd put in my lip. It hurt too much to finish the popsicle. FML
Today, I was watching TV when a Dentyne gum commercial came on and stated that the average person spends more than 20,000 minutes kissing. I've spent less than three. FML
Today, I cracked my tooth. I was so tired I put my pretzel stick in my tea and took a bite out of my spoon. FML
Today, at the age of 22, I started eating my boogers. FML
Today, I have been on the toilet all day due to chocolate laxatives from trick-or-treating. Today, it is my birthday. FML
Today, because I'm tall enough to see over the cubicle walls at work, I witnessed my 50-year-old co-worker pulling his finger out of his nose and immediately popping it into his mouth. FML
Today, I gave my kid some Pop Rocks. He shoveled a handful in his mouth, then screamed when they started popping and spat them all over the carpet. FML
Today, my 2 year-old had a large booger blocking his nose so I pulled it out. I was on the phone and absentmindedly rolling it around between my thumb and pointer finger. I put it in my mouth and crushed it between my teeth for a solid minute before I remembered what it was. FML
Today, my grocery shopping consisted of Poptarts, SpaghettiOs, Lucky Charms, Popsicles, Easy Mac, and Twinkies. I'm a 25-year-old woman with no kids. FML
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Top comments
Ilovelife07 0
Serves that asshole Mr. Owl right, somebody was bound to foil his plans to keep the answer from the world
starbucks14 0
I wouldn't have wasted my entire day on that but i think the fact that you accomplished something like that is kind of cool, then again I'm 15. ♥
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Comments (420)
theflamezbegin 0
You should submit that. There's a contest to win I think it was $20,000 at the Tootsie roll site. Whoever gets the closest wins!
narehs 0
Dude who cares how oldnyou are?? That's awsome!!!
ritalinboy 1
the answer to the eternal question
trilliamme 0
One of the mysteries of the world, solved!
abcdefgh_fml 0
that is probably the most asked question in the world! WAY TO GO MAN! thats actually an accomplishment!!!! CONGRATS!
oogoa 0
Huh. My total was 463 (I wrote it down) We'll have to compare notes.
Daemon666_fml 0
I was 2 off from yours, mine was 761
afgirl_sadaf 0
DUDDEEE :I wanna go outt ? yur my idol ii swear yur soooooo cool ohh emm gee ii wanna do that now :O ima go and do it :)
triscuit 0
Thank you for taking the time? I've always wanted to know...
Authoress 0
You are awesome. Thank you for looking into that. The world HAD to know. :) Did I say you are officially awesome?