Today, I spent the whole day seeing how many licks it would take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop: 763. I'm 24. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was holding a lit cigarette in one hand and a lollipop in the other. Guess which one I licked? FML
Today, I had a big craving for a popsicle so I went to a convenience store and bought one. On my first bite, my upper lip got stuck to it. I ripped it off and spent the next 10 minutes trying to stop the bleeding from the giant cut I'd put in my lip. It hurt too much to finish the popsicle. FML
Today, I was watching TV when a Dentyne gum commercial came on and stated that the average person spends more than 20,000 minutes kissing. I've spent less than three. FML
Today, I cracked my tooth. I was so tired I put my pretzel stick in my tea and took a bite out of my spoon. FML
Today, at the age of 22, I started eating my boogers. FML
Today, I have been on the toilet all day due to chocolate laxatives from trick-or-treating. Today, it is my birthday. FML
Today, because I'm tall enough to see over the cubicle walls at work, I witnessed my 50-year-old co-worker pulling his finger out of his nose and immediately popping it into his mouth. FML
Today, I gave my kid some Pop Rocks. He shoveled a handful in his mouth, then screamed when they started popping and spat them all over the carpet. FML
Today, my 2 year-old had a large booger blocking his nose so I pulled it out. I was on the phone and absentmindedly rolling it around between my thumb and pointer finger. I put it in my mouth and crushed it between my teeth for a solid minute before I remembered what it was. FML
Today, my grocery shopping consisted of Poptarts, SpaghettiOs, Lucky Charms, Popsicles, Easy Mac, and Twinkies. I'm a 25-year-old woman with no kids. FML
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Top comments
Ilovelife07 0
Serves that asshole Mr. Owl right, somebody was bound to foil his plans to keep the answer from the world
starbucks14 0
I wouldn't have wasted my entire day on that but i think the fact that you accomplished something like that is kind of cool, then again I'm 15. ♥
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Comments (420)
hellooamy 0
lol #40(:
Hippie_Chic 0
You are amazing. :) You've just discovered the answer to one of life's greatest questions! And, now, I've lost all respect for Mr. Owl. He was off by 760 licks! :D
SuperSpore 0
Now find out how many bites it takes to eat an entire small Dum-Dum sucker. Oh wait, I already know, 2. One to crack it in half and eat one half, another to pull the other half off and eat it. Wonder if someone has gotten to the center of a Tootsie Pop with 1 bite...
XDplz 0
You are awesome!
SwordSlasher 0
FML used to have such a stronger meaning...now it's just "i spent some time licking a lolly pop and now i feel silly. fml."
MechaMew2 0
Jeez, for those of you that counted your licks to the center, you all SUCK! I have a friend who pulled it off in 117 licks.
Karma123 0
i TRIED THIS WEN I WUZ REALLY YUNG AND IT TOOK ME LIKE 2700....
stupid_ass_peopl 0
um, you chose to do it, why the hell are you complaining? are we all supposed to feel sorry for you because you have nothing better to do than lick a lolly pop? I'd say YDI but there really isn't anything for you to deserve.
stupid_ass_peopl 0
but i must say, i now have an answer to something ive wondered about for a looooong time! now moving on to jawbreakers....
artmuse 0
I've now decided you are my role model. But seriously, that is AWESOMESAUCE. I don't have enough time to eat Tootsie Roll pops anymore, and I don't have enough patience to count how many licks it takes to get to the center. Stupid owl.