errrmkl46
United States
Today, I sneezed in the shower. When I got out, I got a text from my creepy old neighbor saying "Bless you". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
United States
Today, I decided to lay out topless in my fenced-in backyard. For about an hour, everything was going great until I sneezed and my creepy, middle-aged neighbor said "bless you". From my bushes. FML
Anonymous
San Francisco, United States
Gross!
Today, I was waiting in a line, texting on my phone. I hear what sounded like a sneeze and said, "Bless you" to the man in front of me. He gave me a dirty look as I began to smell something awful. It wasn't a sneeze. FML
SierraDiaz2097
Vardaman, United States
Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML
Anonymous
United States
Faulty plumbing
Today, after just waking up, I sneezed, which caused me to piss myself. FML
DogStew
Behave yourselves
Today, I got sneezed on by a fully grown man. FML
coleslaw
United States
Today, I was using a restroom when I heard someone sneeze. I said, "Bless you." It happened again about three times, so I repeated myself each time. I then noticed it was an automatic air freshener. FML
Concussed
This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff
Australia
Bad start to the day
Today, as I showered, I sneezed, hit my face on the wall, got shampoo in my eyes, slipped on a bar of soap, bashed my head on the wall as I fell, grabbed at the walls to stop me from falling and happened to turn off the cold water, scorching me. FML
race
Australia
Today, I was in a meeting and someone behind me sneezed really loudly. As they were doing so, I felt something cold land on my neck. FML
Loney
#blessed
Today, I had to let my nosy landlord into my apartment to ensure I didn't have an unapproved guest over. Why? Because she overheard me sneeze, and then bless myself. FML
Anonymous
Hillsboro, United States
Today, while putting a water bottle into the fridge, I suddenly had to sneeze. The force of my sneezing propelled my head against the open fridge door, causing a gushing wound to my forehead. Bless me. FML
Top comments
nokillnobeepbeep 0
Did you say thank you? Don't be rude now.
amatayo 0
how did he have your cell phone number? making up stories to get on fml is lame.
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Comments (186)
Silentknight 0
I'd say either shower at a different time, or it's curtains for you.
CallMeHush 1
Sorry, I heard you sneeze, and well, your number was at the top of my call list. I Just sent the text without thinking... I usually like to call and you know, hear your voice right after use use that power massage head you have on your shower. It isn't like I was looking to hear you or anything but one day you just moaned so loud it just got my attention. Since Mama died it has been so lonely here, and you seem so nice. I thought we were friends, I bring your mail to you everyday, you know it isn't easy waiting around for the mailman so he doesn't lock it in your mailbox. You get a lot of fliers from Victoria Secret and Adam and Eve, more that the girl who lived here before. I miss her, she moved away so quickly, one day she left for work and just never came back, the movers wouldn't even tell me where they were taking her stuff, said something about client privacy. Anyway if you are catching a cold I made some chicken soup, it will be good for you, eat some... I bet it helps you sleep tonight...
jts2 3
..*likes CallMeHush* It's creepily interesting how well you can put yourself in that position.
bballboy91 0
lol you the funny you the funny
CallMeHush 1
Welcome to the dark side ;)
nofxtime 0
That is creepyawesome.
krasian 0
Move.
Panther_fml 0
Why would your "creepy old neighbour" have your cell number??? Fake FML's like these suck.
Lacyk123 0
fake fake fake ydi for giving your creepy neighbour your real phone number!
dontizzle 0
i agree with #74.... y would he have ur number...?? it sounds like this is a FAKE fml to me.!
mrbob360 0
lucky, my creepy old neighbor doesn't know how to text. He has to call me...
smartieee 0
ydi for giving him your numberr
KelsyKatastrophe 0
Why does your creepy neighbor even have your number? YDI