Today, I was at church, when my mom's phone went off during the sermon. As if that wasn't humiliating enough for me, her ring tone was set to the Bed Intruder song. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be funny to change my ringtone to some guy crooning "Thank heaven for little girls" and then call me during today's teacher-parent conference. FML
Today, I lost my phone while at the store with my mom. She decided to call it, and that's when I remembered that my ringtone for her is the song "Mother" by The Police. The weirded-out stares I got as I picked up my phone have become a core memory that I absolutely did not want. FML
Today, my sister turned the volume on my phone way up and changed the ringtone to a woman's blood-curdling scream. I found this out when she called my phone at 2am as I slept next to it. I pissed my pants and fell out of bed screaming in terror. I'll never hear the end of this. FML
Today, my phone rang just seconds after I left a conference meeting to go use the restroom. It wouldn't have been a problem, except it seems one of my friends thought it would be funny to change my ringtone to a woman having an orgasm. FML
Today, while I was sleeping, my girlfriend took my phone and set the ringtone to a bloodcurdling scream. I found this out when I received a call while driving to work and, thinking someone was being murdered in my backseat, I panicked and swerved into a parked car. FML
Today, someone knocked at my door. I saw it was my Mom, so I flattened myself against the door and tried to be as quiet as possible. I pulled my phone out and almost had silenced it before she called and heard the ringtone through the door. I had to invite her in and hear the usual "get married and have kids." FML
Today, I was so distraught during my mother’s funeral that I hadn’t been paying attention to anything around me. At some point, my kids changed my ringtone to “Ding dong the witch is dead” and turned my phone to full volume. They called while I was doing her eulogy. FML
Today, during a moment of silence at a wedding, my phone rang at full volume. My ringtone? The Jurassic Park theme. Everyone turned to stare as I fumbled desperately to shut it off. The bride spent the rest of the ceremony giving me the side-eye. FML
Today, I attended a funeral. During the minute of silence, my phone went off. My ringtone is "It's good to be alive". FML
Today, I was singing horribly in the shower. Without me knowing, my sister recorded my singing and set it as my ringtone. My phone rang in class and everyone heard it. My new nickname is American Idol. FML
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Top comments
TheDeafWalrus 8
They climbing up yo window, and snatchin yo people up.
GlitterValentina 12
At least it wasn't "I could make your bed rock."
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Comments (107)
TheDeafWalrus 8
They climbing up yo window, and snatchin yo people up.
selenagomezlover 8
Tryina rape them so you better hide yo kids hide yo wife hide yo kids hide yo wife and hide your husband too cos their rapin everybody out there
PenguinBitch 44
So apparently...there's a RAPIST in Lincoln Park.........We gonna find you.....homeboy!
astoryofroses 9
you don't have to come and confess, we lookin for you, we gon find you, we gon find you so you can run and tell that, run and tell that, run and tell that, homeboy, home home homeboy!
ArielTheMermaid 17
We gotcho T-shirt, you don' left fingerprints and all. You are so dumb, yeah you are really dumb. Fo' real.
HahaHokayThen 10
The man got away leaving behind evidence "I was attacked by some idiot in the projects"
102Percent 5
SO DUMB *so dumb* *so dumb*
hiitisbrooke 28
SO He's climbin' in yo windows He's snatchin' yo people up Tryin ta rape so ya need to hide yo kids hide yo wife hide yo kids hide yo wife and hide yo husband cause' he's raping errbody out there
kamareaux 24
C-C-C-Combo Breaker!!
TheChiver 7
I love people who can successfully do any song in a comment section in perfect order. You guys rock.
omfgshiz 7
This thread just put a huge smile on my face. bless you all. *continues to hum song*
GlitterValentina 12
At least it wasn't "I could make your bed rock."
sux4u121 10
I know this isn't related at all, but every time I see your profile picture I see those awesome blue eyes.
lilhellian 27
Try S.M.D. or Candyland that'll be emberassing
da_directioner39 17
Or Little Girls by Oingo Boingo...
micahdunk 13
That exactly what I was thinking!
poccocurantes 7
People still listen to Oingo Boingo? Personally I was thinking Goofys Concern by The Butthole Surfers.
lolfood 24
Or anything about the devil.
Merylwen 24
The pedobear song. Could it be worse than that?
gummybear904 10
You can't make my bed rock, I have temperpedic!
chriisteex 10
Try instrumental version of Milkshake
rageandlove13 8
How about East Jesus Nowhere by Green Day?
spikeisfat 6
Least it wasn't make it nasty by tyga
atitud3 12
I believe "I just had sex" would be pretty awkvard as well...
PenguinBitch 44
It could've been Road Way to Hell.
TheDeafWalrus 8
Highway to Hell*
PenguinBitch 44
If that's the case, then I'll definitely go to hell with all the thumbs down.
TheDeafWalrus 8
It's alright. Happens to the best of us.
sens3sfailing 25
how dare you get the name of a song wrong! that is a classic song just like pour some salt on me, we are the winners, and violet rain!
poccocurantes 7
Roadway to hell is the musak version. Hear it at the dentists all the time.
cuponoodles34 10
u slaughtered AC/DC
LightningCactus 12
I'm surprised you spelt "slaughtered" correctly.
MedKits 9
Most likely he got help from spellcheck #59
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
I know the feeling, my grandma's "hot stuff" ringtone went off at my great grandmas funeral a few months ago, it was hilarious yet wildly inappropriate. Or perhaps all too appropriate, some people would rather keep the mood light when they die. :P Now I'm just getting off topic, I'm sorry Op.
Enslaved 38
Your grandmother that's a nun? Probably not but how extra funny if it were!(:
lilhellian 27
I immediately thought of Noor when I read "nun" lol..
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Nah it was my step-grandma actually, my actual grandma couldn't make it up from the convent and I doubt she could figure out how to set a ringtone in the first place :P but that would have made for a better story I suppose!
Enslaved 38
I've read some of Noor's comments and she's no nun! :P
lilhellian 27
She appears to be a nun but we all know the truth.. The assassin assassinated the nunness in her!
XxDevilxXGt 26
No you don't understand, she is the assassin, who assassinated a nun and took her identity. Sneaky beaky
lilhellian 27
I wonder what Noor thinks of all this..
poccocurantes 7
I was under the impression she was a red head, hence she's the cat.
PincessBoff 6
#26 As did I my friend.
TheFirstSamurai 18
She don't have to come and confess we're lookin for her we gon find her we gon find her.
Ellenpop 15
So she can run and tell that, homeboy. She is so dumb, she is really dumb.
tandem123 6
Fo real
woainishamu 21
We got her t shirt.
Kalipczo 21
It happens, everyone probably forgot about it by the time mass was over or when they got home.
deadpool97_fml 3
not every church has mass, if I'm correct that's just for Catholics
Kalipczo 21
Oh, im sorry, by the time church was done with and everyone went home, they probably forgot about it.
perdix 31
Worse yet, she shoved it into your bag and screamed, "Silence your infernal tool of Satan, ye harlot!"
ICastillo 25
On my god. You guys are so going to hell for that.
lilhellian 27
They're gonna take the "High Way to Hell!"
nycwrestler 17
Or the roadway to hell.
lilhellian 27
*Shoots 38* No, just no. >.> Never mess with a classic!
nycwrestler 17
'Twas a reference to previous comment
lilhellian 27
I know you meant #4.. but still
MrPlopper 9
41- you seem to have an amazing habit of commenting something that is clever, and then ******** on it.
PenguinBitch 44
#38- I heard that! >:( :>
GothickNihilist 15
At least it wasn't God is Dead by nine inch nails aka the song based on Nitezche philosophy.
CinnamonBunny 16
Sorry, but Nietzsche's*. I sort of feel like a nihilist needs to know how to spell it properly.
Metallica36176 16
I'm pretty sure "God hates us all" by Slayer couldve been slighty worse.
otoniel 4
Lol you should have played it off like you didn't know her by staring at her along with the rest of the congregation