Today, I found out that my mother is extremely emotional when it comes to animal deaths when a bird flew into the window and died, and she insisted we have a funeral. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found a tiny, featherless baby bird. I knew it was impossible, but I tried to keep it alive through the day. Before I could get it to the wildlife center, it died, and when I got all choked up over it, my mom started laughing at me and saying how "weak" I was. FML
Today, my mom called me an attention seeker and threw a bitch fit because my cat "decided" to die on her birthday. FML
Today, a robin flew into my window and died. My mom, being a biology teacher, thought it would be a great experience for my brother and me to dissect it on the kitchen table. She threatened to ground us if we didn't do it. FML
Today, my mother and grandmother informed me that my sixteen-year-old dog died. I was standing in Wal-Mart at the time. They then yelled at me because crying in public is "inappropriate." FML
Today, my mom grabbed my iPhone and threw it from the balcony, because I didn’t cry on the fifth anniversary of our family dog’s death. FML
Today, my mom was criticizing how I can't handle taking care of any living thing because I'm too irresponsible. We had a huge argument so I went back to my apartment, only to find that my fish had died. I forgot I had a fish. FML
Today, my pet bird died. He had caught some illness and had been extremely sick for the past few days. He didn't die from the illness though. My dog ate him. FML
Today, I called my mother to check up on her. Lately, she's been having some financial problems, so last week I sent her my last $100 to help her out until her next paycheck. She used the money to euthanize the family dog. FML
Today, I received an unexpected package from my mother. It contained my cat's ashes. Apparently he died 3 weeks ago and she thought this was the best way to tell me. FML
Today, my mom came over to me and whispered something in my ear. I didn't hear it and assumed it was a joke, so I started laughing. Turns out my aunt died. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
DocBastard 40
DON'T STEP ON THAT ANT HILL! Seriously, you'll be having funerals for the next 30 years.
SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18
A wing and a prayer! A WING AND A PRAYER!!!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (144)
SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18
A wing and a prayer! A WING AND A PRAYER!!!
biggestfan23 11
I dont get your joke, what is that from?
SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18
http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wing_and_a_Prayer
coolboy675 16
Looks like op's mom wanted to have a funeral on the fly.
ComTlancy 12
This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!
toenibbler 14
Oh Monty Python... where would I be without you?
Cad6 24
Did the bird die instantly? If not, OP could have given it some "Tweetment".
SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18
Funny, only 1 or 2 of these comments are actually responding to my post. I hate people who reply to the first comment to get up top.
Marcella1016 32
They replied with puns, get over yourself.
SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18
So puns make breaking the website rules alright? mymy. Didn't know that. You sir, are a moron.
Marcella1016 32
No one jacked your thread. Your post was a pun. Others replied with puns. It happens often. YOU, sir, are a moron, and on a related note, I am not a sir. Marcella is a female name, and my profile says "Miss." Again, get over yourself.
_Oblivion_ 12
lol shamus you just got shit on by a chick
SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18
I'm sorry, I don't check profiles before I speak. MISS Marcella. And no, it wasn't a pun. It was a reference to a famous movie. You, ma'am, are a dumb bitch.
llamafish 25
Thus qualifying it as a pun.
hope540 0
Too long did not read. #sorry
hope540 0
Woah, can you say no class? No respect for women. Like get out of here. Let me guess... no girlfriend? shocker...
Forlorn420 9
119-#werenotontwitter
marinus_fml 20
Has your mother not seen this much before? I can't imagine having to burry every animal I've killed before. Not that I'm a soulless bastard, but they occasionally hit my cars windscreen.
SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18
I saw where you made a stupid comment, trying for first! Allow me to strike a blow for truth and dignity!! Here is the original comment posted as #2: "At least she has a heart!" What has this world come to..?
domking1315 20
You souless bastard!!
Heinousness 0
Pigeon was born in blah blah blah... He was a great bird. Blah blah blah... He had 17 kids in his lifetime. He will always be loved.
xoconnie 8
i dont really like this FML lol
MerrikBarbarian 9
18 kids or 16. Pigeons always lay two eggs. One is male one is female. The more you know!!!! :)
noe1387 0
Doesn't mean they all hatch!
Isaac_The_Man 0
Sound like The Office episode
Heinousness 0
111, are you some pigeon expert? I picked 17 because 1 and 7 are my favorite numbers. 71 sounded like too many.
LMA0 5
Poor birdie:(
kooochris1995 14
Poor birdie?! Poor window! :(
MerrikBarbarian 9
Your name plus your comment... Is amusing me
Allie614032 34
This is normal in my family... if a bird dies by our house, we'll bury it. No speeches or moment of silence, but I just think it's a nice thing to do. Birds are just as alive as humans and their deaths being treated as anything other than paramount to a human's is incredibly egotistical. Yes, they don't contribute anything to human society, but we contribute nothing to theirs either. Living separately doesn't constitute completely disregarding the value of all life.
aKaClickZ 4
Beyond strange
tylersign 11
I'm vegetarian, so I somewhat understand. It's not that strange =)
aKaClickZ 4
Being sad is fine. However, a funeral seems like it's a little overboard.
SkoomaKi 28
Get your mum a Pokemon game, catch her a wurmple. Then she can look after it and it won't die.
im_too_pro 2
Catterpie's better!
instnt1nfction 17
Are you kidding me? Get a god-damn Magikarp, don't evolve it and it will never die. It is the cutest **** you will ever meet.
thelastavailable 13
Pokemon DIE???
THE_A_TEEN 28
Yep. Entei, Suicune, Raikou (Reincarnatlted by Ho-Oh.), Darkrai, Marowak (Gen. 1), were shown or mentioned dying, or died.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Hell, it's mentioned somewhere in the Gen. 1 & 2 games that Team Rocket actually kill pokemon.
Zomg_Okay 27
Gen. 1, Pokémon Tower, I believe. Something about Fuji being angry over Team Rocket killing a Marowak that was defending its Cubone.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Don't forget that Pokemon Tower is a cemetery for pokemon. I think I should stop.
Zomg_Okay 27
Nah. :D
flashback.miss 28
awww but just have a little gathering in the backyard and get on with your life. :) thats so touching of your mom to be so caring about animals. imagine how compassionate she ust be about people ^^
twisted_cherub 14
It's been my experience that people who care that much for animals don't care for people at all. I'm not saying it's wrong, just a social preference.
ninjaniki 0
6, what is your picture..? :|
VioletRaven1 8
That's whatI do .I found a bird when I nearly home for walking my dog.Once home I let my dog inside then went back for the bird .and buried with a circle of rocks and leaves and I was sort of crying I've done the same with my fish or fish I see at the beach. I do care for people but more family,friends and animals.But on movies I don't cry for the person unless there one of my Fav characters But with animals I would/will cry. If it came down to a Hobo or a stray I would rather let the stray in etc..
kerrwoof 13
I could understand a family pet, but a stray bird? Really? On the bright side, Atleast your mom has a heart...
L1v3_L0v3_Lau9h 18
Nah, not necessarily, Hitler liked animals but he was quite heartless.
burro_fml 6
Hitler killed animals. The mom didn't kill animals. Hitler was heartless. Mom might have a heart. Your statement does not work!
kooochris1995 14
I'm pretty sure we all have hearts. We would be dead without hearts.
nick315 8
At least she didn't cook it and secretly feed it to you. I bet it would taste real gamie. Or how ever you spell that.
n23SoCalHco 0
Ya...
DocBastard 40
DON'T STEP ON THAT ANT HILL! Seriously, you'll be having funerals for the next 30 years.
perdix 31
Be careful with the funeral music. "Bye, Bye, Birdie" would not be funny or appropriate. Stop laughing!
olpally 33
LOL... oops I laughed... Do I get a cookie?? :D
olpally 33
Even better noor!! Thanks a bunch! Om nom nom!!! :D
l0v3p4in 7
"Don't you know about the bird?? Well, everyone's heard about the bird Bird, bird, bird is the word. Bird, bird, bird is the word. Bird, bird, bird is the word."
perdix 31
"Who Killed **** Robin?" Not on the list. Stop laughing! I'm serious -- a bird has died. Died!
twisted_cherub 14
I'm reminded of the scene from "Death at a Funeral" (the original British one) where Simon (Alan Tudyk) keeps giggling during the eulogy. All your fault, Perdix. No more bird songs. It's moving! I saw it move! Someone help me! That bird is alive in the casket!
perdix 31
#71, I missed that, but go look up the old "Mary Tyler Moore Show" and the episode called "Chuckles Bites The Dust." Now, there's a funeral scene!
Razzle_Dazzle_5 11
48 Suuuurrrfiiinngggg biiiirrrd bbbbbbbb (tripping out) Pa Pa Pa oh mow mow mow papa oh mow mow mow papa oh mow mow mow papa oh mow mow mow papa oh mow mow mow papa oh Mow mow mow papa oh mow mow mow!!!
twisted_cherub 14
I'll do that. The original of "Death at a Funeral" was much better than the U.S. remake. Alan Tudyk did well. I actually watched it because of him. I liked him on "Firefly" & "Serenity".