Today, I finally broke down and paid someone to clean my condo. Sometime after she finished, my cat threw up. Then my roomba went off, smearing regurgitated mackerel all over the freshly washed floors. There goes $150. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, we got a new Roomba. I set it to clean and came back an hour later to find shit smears all over the floor. Apparently, one of my cats had done his business in the kitchen, and the Roomba had dragged it around the entire first floor of my house. FML
Today, my roommate finally cleaned her cat's very full litter box. I later found our only good spatula crusted with kitty feces, which she'd left on the kitchen counter for me to find. FML
Today, my husband and I cleaned our house. We swept, mopped, vacuumed, dusted, and scrubbed. We moved the furniture and got in the cracks. We were extremely thorough. At 9 p.m., our cat had diarrhea and he got it all over himself. He didn't know what to do, so he ran through the house, spraying poop everywhere. FML
Today, my dog pooped on the floor, and the Roomba my sweet boyfriend bought me as a housewarming gift, ran over it. FML
Today, I hired an exterminator to get the roaches out of the house I'm renting. I came back from work and went to my bathroom, noticing that he used the plunger to unclog the toilet after he took a dump. After $150, there was shit all over my floor and plunger, and roaches still in my kitchen. FML
Today, I noticed my cat was about to vomit on the rug and yelled at her to move. She spooked and managed to throw up while running. I still had to clean up the rug. FML
Today, I found out that I spent 3 whole days cleaning my apartment thoroughly and paid $100 to get my carpet professional cleaned to not get my $950 deposit back because the carpet smells like dog. I don't have a dog. FML
Today, I had just finished making myself an ice cream cone when my cat puked all over the floor. I set my cone on the counter while I cleaned up, and when I finished, my cat was licking it. FML
Today, I finished painting my living room. I had to leave the house in a rush. When I got home, I found smears of paint all around and the carpet crusted with paint that had dried. My cat had rubbed up against the walls and tracked it around. FML
Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
jessicasoho 13
A mop costs $10
awildwhisper 30
At least it's not carpet.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (14)
RichardPencil 32
Is this a robot version of a Darwin Award? Maybe we'll call it a Turing Award?
awildwhisper 30
At least it's not carpet.
jessicasoho 13
A mop costs $10
RichardPencil 32
True, but mastering that technology takes years of training and practice.
cloudish 23
In German, you could say "Das ist zum kotzen!" which literally means that the situation sucks that mich you want to throw up... just saying, but this could be you right now!
hunterseal 18
Is your cat okay? Yeah and get a mop, shot happens or puke literally
hunterseal 18
*shit
species4872 20
John West mackerel, the best in home decoration.
mattyiscool123 26
This is probably why I will never get a roombaa
sweetbliss3 37
because it's so hard to clean, vacuum and mop, yourself?
tess_the_dreamer 3
there is a really funny rooms story about going through dog poop....
rivenrock 14
You didn't lose the whole $150. Mopping the floors was the only job that had to be redone.