Today, I slashed my ass open with a shard of glass. How? I was making out with my crush, and threw my glasses on the ground. I forgot about them when we decided to lie down. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend and I were trying something new. I ended up with a shard of glass in my back and a concussion. Don't have sex on a glass table. FML
Today, I fell down the stairs while holding some dirty glasses from my room. I ended up pulling pieces of glass from my body. Meanwhile all my mom cares about is the fact that I broke three of her favorite glasses. FML
Today, I reached for my lip balm while laying in bed in the dark. I accidentally knocked my bedside lamp, and it fell on my hand and shattered. A huge glass fragment impaled my hand. I just got out of surgery. FML
Today, at a house party someone smashed and spilled their drink. In my own drunken state, I decided to get the mop as someone might fall. I then fell over it and ended up with glass in my side. FML
Today, I dropped some glass at my job while putting it on the shelf. A shard bounced off the floor and went up my nose. FML
Today, my friend hit a glass with her arm, so I dove to try and catch it before it hit the ground and shattered. I hit my head against the table, giving me a nice gash that needed stitches. The glass was actually plastic. FML
Today, I'm in hospital. During date night, after sex was over, I reached for my whiskey. I was already so drunk, I accidentally picked up the lit candle which was in a glass roughly the same size as my whiskey glass, and poured melted wax in my mouth, up my nose, and in my eyes. FML
Today, I was cutting some paper when I accidentally cut a sizeable chunk out of my finger. I went to my car to get my bumbag (I'm a lifeguard) so I could patch it up. I then promptly got a large piece of glass in my foot. FML
Today, I woke myself up by slamming my ankle into a glass bottle. FML
Today, I accidentally super-glued my hand to my face while trying to fix a broken pair of glasses. I yanked it off in a panic, taking a patch of my face along with it. FML
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Top comments
missamazinggg 12
Such a pain in the ass.
zebraface 15
Because throwing your glasses on the ground is just sooo sexy.
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Comments (201)
chewla13 0
Haha literally pain in the ass
lishy1311 0
Look before you leap ;)
b1gphil 6
your glasses are actually made of glass! most lenses are made from plastic these days so that if they break, things like that won't happen :P
xxmusicroxxx 0
You seem sharp.
DRoCC69 9
What an idiot..
onlyoncamera 0
LMFAO!!!!!
philzilla 1
I wasn't aware glasses were still made of glass
Bad1z 13
they dont, they use CR-39 or Polycarbonate because its lighter, less fragile and more scratch resistant
EBA2013_fml 4
Glasses aren't even made of glass.......
Pelreskovich 11
Smooth one glass ass.
Rach227 8
mmm yea maybe its like that in America but I know for a fact in the UK and many other countries still use glass! We still like glass, its very rare I meet someone who uses plastic glasses
AmbrosiaWriter 17
So, you go up to every person you see wearing glasses and ask them if they are made of glass or plastic? You can't really tell the difference just by looking at them unless the person requires a very strong prescription and so the glass would be much thicker (and thus much heavier.) You can still get glass in America too if you want it, but the cons to it vast outweigh the pros for most people.