Today, I slashed my ass open with a shard of glass. How? I was making out with my crush, and threw my glasses on the ground. I forgot about them when we decided to lie down. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend and I were trying something new. I ended up with a shard of glass in my back and a concussion. Don't have sex on a glass table. FML
Today, I fell down the stairs while holding some dirty glasses from my room. I ended up pulling pieces of glass from my body. Meanwhile all my mom cares about is the fact that I broke three of her favorite glasses. FML
Today, I reached for my lip balm while laying in bed in the dark. I accidentally knocked my bedside lamp, and it fell on my hand and shattered. A huge glass fragment impaled my hand. I just got out of surgery. FML
Today, at a house party someone smashed and spilled their drink. In my own drunken state, I decided to get the mop as someone might fall. I then fell over it and ended up with glass in my side. FML
Today, I dropped some glass at my job while putting it on the shelf. A shard bounced off the floor and went up my nose. FML
Today, my friend hit a glass with her arm, so I dove to try and catch it before it hit the ground and shattered. I hit my head against the table, giving me a nice gash that needed stitches. The glass was actually plastic. FML
Today, I'm in hospital. During date night, after sex was over, I reached for my whiskey. I was already so drunk, I accidentally picked up the lit candle which was in a glass roughly the same size as my whiskey glass, and poured melted wax in my mouth, up my nose, and in my eyes. FML
Today, I was cutting some paper when I accidentally cut a sizeable chunk out of my finger. I went to my car to get my bumbag (I'm a lifeguard) so I could patch it up. I then promptly got a large piece of glass in my foot. FML
Today, I woke myself up by slamming my ankle into a glass bottle. FML
Today, I accidentally super-glued my hand to my face while trying to fix a broken pair of glasses. I yanked it off in a panic, taking a patch of my face along with it. FML
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Top comments
missamazinggg 12
Such a pain in the ass.
zebraface 15
Because throwing your glasses on the ground is just sooo sexy.
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Comments (201)
boot634 0
Ok how are you going to be stupid enough to throw your shity ass glasses that were probably like at least $50(waste of money) then manage to not notice they broke and ******* sit your fat ass right on top of them???????????
illneedasaviour 0
"threw my glasses on the ground" wait were you planning on having sex on the ground instead of a bed or something?
brock329 3
Dumbass
phatdaddy62 23
I've never seen glasses shard when they break.
JukeboxValkyrie 19
I used to wear glasses and I never threw them onto the ground...you should look into contacts for the future.
AmbrosiaWriter 17
Why are you responding so viciously to someone over the internet? It's obvious they said it just to get a rise out of you, and you responded in the exact way that they wanted. They just won because you flipped out from a single sentence typed by someone you don't know. Next time just ignore the idiot, it's not worth it to get so angry over something someone you don't know and probably will never meet said to you.
imani132 6
Damn so much for romance
AllyyK 9
Why are you laying down on the ground?
Vash_41288 10
Well at least it was not poison ivy in your rectum
HeartAttackSmz 1
Pain in the ass much?