Today, my girlfriend and I were trying something new. I ended up with a shard of glass in my back and a concussion. Don't have sex on a glass table. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I learned that I do not possess the upper body, core, or leg strength to hold my girlfriend up during sex. I simultaneously collapsed and dropped her onto her coffee table. We are now both being treated at the hospital; her for glass wounds, me for a concussion. FML
Today, I slashed my ass open with a shard of glass. How? I was making out with my crush, and threw my glasses on the ground. I forgot about them when we decided to lie down. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate and planning on having sex for the first time. I picked her up off the couch, and in so doing, accidentally lifted her too high, putting her head through the ceiling. She had a mild concussion. FML
Today, my girlfriend smashed a glass in my face. When I went to the hospital, the first thing the nurse did was ask what I did to upset her, and then muttered that she hoped I'd learned a lesson. FML
Today, my friend hit a glass with her arm, so I dove to try and catch it before it hit the ground and shattered. I hit my head against the table, giving me a nice gash that needed stitches. The glass was actually plastic. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I tried to have sex in the shower. While trying to support her weight, as we got into things, I slipped backwards on the wet floor and fell through the Pyrex side of the shower, with her crashing down on me. I now have bits of Pyrex in my back and have to replace the shower side. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder to take me to his room. He wasn't careful enough, and dropped me right on my head, on the hardwood floor. I ended up vomiting and came down with a headache. He still wanted to have sex. FML
Today, at a house party someone smashed and spilled their drink. In my own drunken state, I decided to get the mop as someone might fall. I then fell over it and ended up with glass in my side. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Feeling goofy, I thought it’d be funny to try to reenact that horrible sex scene from the movie Showgirls. I threw my body back, but completely lost my balance and smashed my head on the headboard. I ended up with a bad concussion and a huge hospital bill. FML
Today, I ran up to my boyfriend to kiss him when he got home from work. I tripped and I fell on him, and he fell backwards. He ended up hitting his head on the sidewalk and had to get stitches. He also had a concussion. FML
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Top comments
ktm71125 19
Thanks for the tip. On another note what on Earth made you think having sex on a glass table was a good idea. FYL
Chiroptera_Man 10
Talk about rough sex.
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Comments (83)
Chiroptera_Man 10
Talk about rough sex.
jenninator93 18
His hopes for spicing things up must've been shattered.
incoherentrmblr 22
Well, at least the glass didn't ending up in your dick/balls...
lexiieeex3 32
Stop trying so hard #1
wanted_2_want 40
He's so... Fragile!!! No?? Ok
ThongWarrior 17
Speechless...
EkansthePokemon 2
Then don't say anything.
ThongWarrior 17
I believe I am free to express my opinion yea? U cant go around telling people to stop commenting -.-
Octwo 16
He can and he did. Just as anyone can ignore what he said as well. Also You*
Erikaaa262 6
all he did was say speechless... y'all need to get your life's lol
Vitotaylor36 13
And you need to learn English, #75.
yve1220 20
I hope you're okay op but ydi
Greenteamextreme 16
Nobody deserves a shard of glass in their back and a concussion over creative consentual sexytimes you big jerk.
Puffpie 24
It still wasn't a very good idea though.
Greenteamextreme 16
Deffinately not lol. But everyone does something silly during sex at some point or another.
pitapizzaparty 18
I once queefed in the middle of loosing my virginity to my husband. Thats really embarrassing
jenninator93 18
#43 queefing is a natural bodily noise that inevitably will happen at some point or another, nothing to be embarrassed over... doesn't compare at all to what happens with OP and his partner.
Ashd09 30
@36 I think 3 might mean OP deserves it for not having the common sense it takes to realise that 1)a table probably won't hold the weight of 2 people. and 2)even if the table legs held up, there's a good chance that the glass won't hold up
yve1220 20
Thank you :)
Cayers97 12
Ive always been told to play through the pain
xmaan667 15
That's just not a good idea
ktm71125 19
Thanks for the tip. On another note what on Earth made you think having sex on a glass table was a good idea. FYL
patrickalamo 48
I bet they broke their phone as well trying to film from below.
maxisjawesome 9
Must have been a pane in the back
littleteapot 21
I'm glad you put FYL. Its clearly OP and his girlfriend's fault, but I couldn't bring myself to click YDI. Their actions were incredibly stupid, but not enough to deserve a shard of glass in his back. That crap hurts.
False_Stupidity 42
Some of those tempered glass tables are quite strong... Op's was not one of those.
False_Stupidity 42
On another note. Even if the glass had been strong enough to hold them both, that just doesn't sound like it would be very cum-for-table. So bad idea regardless.
jackwilliams 9
I don't see a way in which that could be a good way to have sex
mckenzieandrews 16
Pain is pleasure
R2Y2 22
BDSM?
Cristian89 29
Thanks for the tip Einstein -__-