Today, I slashed my ass open with a shard of glass. How? I was making out with my crush, and threw my glasses on the ground. I forgot about them when we decided to lie down. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend and I were trying something new. I ended up with a shard of glass in my back and a concussion. Don't have sex on a glass table. FML
Today, I fell down the stairs while holding some dirty glasses from my room. I ended up pulling pieces of glass from my body. Meanwhile all my mom cares about is the fact that I broke three of her favorite glasses. FML
Today, I reached for my lip balm while laying in bed in the dark. I accidentally knocked my bedside lamp, and it fell on my hand and shattered. A huge glass fragment impaled my hand. I just got out of surgery. FML
Today, at a house party someone smashed and spilled their drink. In my own drunken state, I decided to get the mop as someone might fall. I then fell over it and ended up with glass in my side. FML
Today, I dropped some glass at my job while putting it on the shelf. A shard bounced off the floor and went up my nose. FML
Today, my friend hit a glass with her arm, so I dove to try and catch it before it hit the ground and shattered. I hit my head against the table, giving me a nice gash that needed stitches. The glass was actually plastic. FML
Today, I'm in hospital. During date night, after sex was over, I reached for my whiskey. I was already so drunk, I accidentally picked up the lit candle which was in a glass roughly the same size as my whiskey glass, and poured melted wax in my mouth, up my nose, and in my eyes. FML
Today, I was cutting some paper when I accidentally cut a sizeable chunk out of my finger. I went to my car to get my bumbag (I'm a lifeguard) so I could patch it up. I then promptly got a large piece of glass in my foot. FML
Today, I woke myself up by slamming my ankle into a glass bottle. FML
Today, I accidentally super-glued my hand to my face while trying to fix a broken pair of glasses. I yanked it off in a panic, taking a patch of my face along with it. FML
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Top comments
missamazinggg 12
Such a pain in the ass.
zebraface 15
Because throwing your glasses on the ground is just sooo sexy.
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Comments (201)
Collinscap20 6
Shut the **** up and stay up in the north you Yankee mother ****** !!!!!
blazehunter 0
Ouch that did hurt alot right? And i m wearing a glass one
Girlsrock4u 0
Thats sooo hilarious!!!
Girlsrock4u 0
Hahaha thats soooo funny were u having vaginal sex or penis sex
Euronymous93 29
How old are you, 11? Penis sex? WTF? Do you even know what you are talking about?
ThePackage69 3
i feel bad for you but at the same time a just cant stop laughing... sorry
LilT321 0
Y didn't u put then somewhere else …
WhatIsLuck 6
Aren't glasses expensive and fragile? Why on earth would you throw them on the ground?? And were you really so desperate that you had to lie down on the floor? O_o This is either fake or OP isn't very smart... If it's the latter, I really hope your parents aren't the ones paying for your glasses.
My_Screwy_Life 0
I beg to ask the question : how did u get your ass cut up if u were wearing clothes o,O
gkhalil98 16
You did finish up that session right?
tuckit 28
You lied down on the ground?..