Today, I set my AIM status to be the currently-playing file on my iTunes. I've downloaded a lot of porn to my iTunes, and I wanted to watch some. My status changed to "Girl in Latex gets fucked in the ass." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was getting ready for bed, when I decided to watch some porno on the computer. Suddenly someone from my messenger list says, "You might want to turn off the 'What You're Listening To' option if you're watching porn." I snapped and exited the porn. 63 people saw. FML
Today, I was so bored that I actually read the iTunes store's terms and conditions. FML
Today, I got bored looking at porn. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other. Before, I reached over to her computer and put on "Your Body is a Wonderland". Surprisingly, I lasted through the song and didn't realize her iTunes was on random. "Rape Me" by Nirvana came on. I still finished. FML
Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook. I unplugged the second monitor so I could lie on my bed. Instead of defaulting to the screen, Airplay somehow synced it to the living room TV, where the rest of my family was watching a movie. FML
Today, my sister was "sexting" her boyfriend over Apple messages. Since we share an iTunes account the messages appeared on my iPod. Apparently, he shouldn't be silly, and should wrap his willy. FML
Today, I was hitting on a cute girl on the bus. It was going well, and she gave me her name to add on Facebook. Since I didn't have the app, I opened Safari on my phone. It opened to my video from Pornhub I watched yesterday and started playing, on full volume, through the entire bus. FML
Today, I was having computer problems, so I let my friend have remote access to fix them. We were video-chatting on Skype at the time, and so he thought it'd be hilarious to load hardcore porn in my browser the moment he saw my mom enter the room from behind me. I'm now grounded. FML
Today, I was making love to my girlfriend and was pretty impressed with myself for lasting through multiple songs. Then I realized her ipod was playing a medley. I only lasted 3 1/2 minutes. FML
Today, at 2 am on a Saturday, I purposely updated my Facebook status from my iPod so people will see that I posted from a 'mobile device' and think I'm out at a bar having a life, instead of sitting at home on my bed watching movies on my Netflix. FML
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Top comments
alicemassie 0
gee, i think thats number one on itunes!
Shigogaboo 0
Wow...wow
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Comments (192)
glass_doll83 0
so what. I purposely put my AIM status to WATCHING **** when I want to be left alone. :P
Me27 0
I'm with #18 - that's what I thought first, too.
aatomkins 0
ive done that before :) But No one was on they were at school
TurtleLG 0
obviously your fault. still hilarious.
mattmag 0
haha this is awesome. ydi for using itunes though.
pnkfld7892 0
yeah watch where u put ur **** dude
midiorganizer 0
YDI (see, "girl in latex").
bmiawcb1 0
I guess that's what you get for downloading **** on iTunes...
HelloSeattle 0
Why would you be on AIM if you wanted to watch ****? To type in a lovely message to your grandmother while jacking off? YDI.
deabruzo 0
drag it to quicktime next time. And seriously, do people not read the previous comments before they make a comment.