Today, at 2 am on a Saturday, I purposely updated my Facebook status from my iPod so people will see that I posted from a 'mobile device' and think I'm out at a bar having a life, instead of sitting at home on my bed watching movies on my Netflix. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I purposely went offline on Facebook chat, just so people would think I actually have a life. FML
Today, after working the night shift, I accidentally left my iPod at the office. I woke up later and went on Facebook. To my dismay, I saw some coworker had posted stuff on my wall, such as, "I really have to take a shit!" and "Yes, my tits are real!" FML
Today, I decided not to go on Facebook so people would actually think that I have a life. FML
Today, I posted on my Facebook wall that I'd gotten into a huge bar fight and had the shit kicked out of me, all to avoid having to tell the truth, namely that I'd stayed home all night because nobody invited me out to party. FML
Today, I deliberately snapped a pic of myself and edited it to add to my story, in order to make my ex think I have a life on a Saturday night. FML
Today, to give the illusion that I have friends, I wrote an outrageous status on Facebook, and then pretended it was the result of a friend hacking my page, all in the hope that it would get comments, likes, or at least some attention. Nothing happened. FML
Today, I updated my Facebook status to, "Party at my house this Friday. Like my status if you want to come." After about 3 hours I checked back to discover that the only person who'd liked my status was my grandma. FML
Today, I purposely misspelled words while texting my boyfriend so he would think I was out partying and having a life. FML
Today, while pensively thinking up my next awesome Facebook status over dinner, I finally came to the conclusion that I need to get a life. FML
Today, I guess I accidentally left Facebook open on my work computer while I went to the bathroom, because my boss updated my status to "Unemployed." FML
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Top comments
calichic101 0
i dont rlly think tht is a fml it just means u have no life
mcleantrain 0
u will have friends some day don't worry!
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Comments (83)
calichic101 0
i dont rlly think tht is a fml it just means u have no life
its_callie_bitch 0
agree with #1 lame
uradopted 0
hmmm looks like someone needs to get some.....friends
imaginaryvoice 18
Go to a bar and get a life then. Lol
beautikill 4
i stay home on saturdays sometimes no harm in that!..
IgniteCS 0
its funny because you posted in the wrong website this is more a MLIA than an FML
VegasSkiess 0
ure fault completely. If u rlly wanted to "have a life," u wulda done sumthing bout it by now. but apparently u haven't
flapjacklux 8
awww you poor lonley bastard cheer up :D
legonut4 0
it's funny because you are trying to make people think you have a life but you dont
chamd 0
I do too. 13 it's just another day
slatter 1
its funny BECAUSE THAT JOKE IS NO LONGER FUNNY 13
karina_said 0
ydi for thinking a life can be found at the bar. i think you just need friends... we'll be your friends (:<
suppressed08 2
what's wrong with watching movies?
parii 0
I never even look to see it it's off a moblie device or what not. who cares?
Massdebater 1
go out and get laid.. pussy...
LightningLadyy 0
69, Thats what I was thinking.
jrod12391 1
yea but ur hot...so its ok
bamditzki 0
so.. ppl tought u had a life afterwards?
rainbowsparkle 0
if you had a life and was actually having a good time at the bar you wouldnt be on facebook.
Flinlock 0
couldn't agree more #1 op why don't you go to the damn bar if you want to be there, if you don't want to then stop being a drama queen
italiangurrl 8
well it would be an fml if OP had a life worth effing. lol I do stuff like that-- like when I cancel plans with someone I make fake statuses to cover up and make my lie look legit lol
VivaLaBelle 0
I agree with 92! If you wanted to look like you were having a life than you shouldn't have updated your status at all. and secondly, people could care less whether the status comes from a mobile or not. Just Sayin'
isallwaysme 27
20. grammar Nazi alert. really* that* you*
mcleantrain 0
u will have friends some day don't worry!
dacho 7
Friends are overrated.
CrimsonWolf1294 0
17 is a loner
Bekll 31
Loners can have friends. They're also usually introverted and like time to themselves more often.
lookatyou 0
I don't understand what's keeping you from going out?
LightningLadyy 0
Lack of communication with people face to face.
SirWhatsHisFace 0
Why would they automatically assume you were at a bar?
Trollz4daLULZ 2
YDI for using Facebook. YDI for having an Ipod or any other crApple product. YDI for caring what other people think. YDI for having a bed. YDI for watching movies. YDI for using Netflix.
VegasSkiess 0
6 is grumpy:/
VegasSkiess 0
i dnt see how the name has any relevance to anything.
Trollz4daLULZ 2
hahaha
Trollz4daLULZ 2
Don't believe him! He's just saying he loves you to get into your pants again! [edit: damn you, you've beaten me to it AGAIN]
andreezy273 0
if you're updating fb on your super cool hang out time then you have no life anyway
Sarah__Louise 0
so get out and get some friends?
Tauren 0
Nerd
lookatyou 0
is this a girl or a guy?
volleygirl16 1
#10 i was wondering the same thing lol
ryderburt 2
ahahahaha I'm a wanker! and you suck for caring what others think about you, tell them to screw off and **** a camel