Today, I was making love to my girlfriend and was pretty impressed with myself for lasting through multiple songs. Then I realized her ipod was playing a medley. I only lasted 3 1/2 minutes. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other. Before, I reached over to her computer and put on "Your Body is a Wonderland". Surprisingly, I lasted through the song and didn't realize her iTunes was on random. "Rape Me" by Nirvana came on. I still finished. FML
Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML
Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML
Today, I had a one night stand. After her laying there without moving for ages, she impatiently asked if I'd finished. Once she got bored and told me to just finish myself off, her song playlist began playing "Never Gonna Dance Again". Very romantic. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex to music, which we hadn't done before. I was getting close when it cut to commercial. I was so turned off by the idea of coming during an ad break that I didn't come at all. Thanks Spotify. FML
Today, after spending months learning how to play the guitar and memorizing the music to my girlfriend's all-time favorite song, I performed it for her. Her response? "Well, you kind of ruined that song for me now." FML
Today, I was trying to impress a girl I like by showing off my guitar skills at a party. I'd hyped it up all night. When I finally started playing, I’d forgotten most of the chords and lyrics to the song, and ended up just strumming "Wonderwall" while humming off-key. She left halfway through the "performance." FML
Today, I took pills to make sure I lasted longer with my girlfriend. Good news? It worked fine and is still working now. Bad news? We've been done for a good two hours. FML
Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML
Today, after practicing a song for my girlfriend on guitar all day, I called her over to my house to show it to her. After a long speech about how "this is for you," I played for about 3 seconds before I broke a string, which slapped her in her face. FML
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Top comments
vooper 0
minute man, I CHOOSE YOU!
idratherbewrestl 0
relax dont do it! when you want to come!
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Comments (102)
idratherbewrestl 0
relax dont do it! when you want to come!
Scorpitarrius 0
ahahahahahaa. classic-nothin like a Frankie Goes To Hollywood joke. As the nerds say, win.
danielleeycakes 3
he lasted longer than my boyfriend ever has. coughcoughheonlynlastes57secondslasttime.
SoundnVasion 0
2 pump chump!
elite_stoner 0
nice name op... think about dead puppies but not to much or you will go limp
Suptnik 9
72 - Hell, I would go for 57 seconds. It's better than lasting almost an hour every damn time
movies12 0
FYL.
adriandenee 0
hmmm
teqifsha 0
this happened to me before
EmreArslan 11
Dont worry at all foreplay is recommended ;) and besides after ur done u still can use ur mouth or fingers for her pleasure just enjoy the sex and dont worry about how long u last
tyson346 0
Wtf?
hurtandabused 7
When people say it's normal I don't understand it. (not bragging or being a bitchy sue) but my fiancé(whom I lost my virginity to n is the only guy I've been with) lasted over an hour our first time n he was a virgin as well, n now he lasts longer now. How come it's normal for a guy to last. So short? Why is that?
Kkkdawg 27
My boyfriend lasts a really long time too..Sometimes I wish he wouldn't :/ But I also don't understand why everyone thinks it's normal to last 30 seconds.
zykrithium 22
How is it normal to not climax for an hour?
withered 30
How? By not being selfish, caring about your partner's pleasure too and by having stamina. You know you can pause if your stamina is nonexsistant and use other techniques until you can continue?
vooper 0
minute man, I CHOOSE YOU!
sguitaradam 5
lmao.
kittycat98 0
your hot ;) I live in Orlando we should hang
Jefferson207 3
don't worry buddy, it happens. do what I do. think about what your plans are for tomorrow.
Signposthead 0
Good enough?
bigdeuce7 0
Ninth
eb0ny 15
EIGHTY NINTH!!! YES!!!!!!!!
loserboii 11
YDI for deserving it Feed the Trolls!!
boreddoubletears 0
You're cool because you're flipping off the camera. Funny comment though! :)