Today, I sent a picture to my girlfriend of my erect penis with a quote saying "It's waiting for you." She responded with a picture of her left hand showing her left ring finger with a quote saying "It's waiting for you too." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend asked for a picture of my penis, so I sent her one. Then later on, she asked for one when I was hard, the first one I sent I was hard. FML
Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my vagina. He replied, "What's that?" FML
Today, I got a new smartphone and wanted to surprise my girlfriend with a naughty picture with it. A few minutes after sending it, I got a reply back from my girlfriend. And my best friend. And my sister. And everyone on my contacts list. FML
Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML
Today, my girlfriend of ten months sent me a picture message of her making out with a guy. Under it, it read, "You can pick your stuff up in the morning." FML
Today, my girlfriend text me and told me to do something sexy because she was going to FaceTime me. I eagerly dropped my pants and started stroking it to get ready for her. As soon as I opened her call, she was standing with my wife. I literally got caught with my dick in my hand. FML
Today, I was texting my girlfriend and asked her for a picture, expecting something provocative. She sent me a picture of her holding a positive pregnancy test. We had sex once. FML
Today, I asked my fiancé's daughter to use her phone so I could call mine which I'd misplaced. Busy with homework, she nodded. Only after she jumped up did I notice that she had my number listed with a humiliating nickname, and accompanied by a photo of her middle finger. FML
Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ysomad 0
wow you're a loser
bugwub 0
win for her!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (261)
spinningstarsbc 0
your gf is ftw :)
Jujuto1 0
Girlfriend WIN
thisisLAUREN 0
why is this an fml? the fact that you consider this an fml shows you don't care for her lmao. hardcore ydi.
unidentified_sta 5
Am I the only was seriously disturbed by what OP was doing?
Yeah_Thats_Me 0
Probably it's sexting it's a real thing.
torodeoro 0
you should see the fat ass diamond on her finger bitch... yeah i dont care about her at all... dont judge
HesJustTheBest 0
You should have then took a picture of your kitchen and said "It's waiting for you...". That'll put her in her place.
CinnamonJ 4
Then send her a picture of a sandwich and a beer and see if she takes your subtle hints.
lerouxmaster 7
Then a picture of the vacuum and broom.
woahheylex 0
your gf is too smart for you. better luck next time.. now go put a ring on it.
BugMan9081 0
buy your bitch a ring loser
bobsanction 18
Buy that bitch a ring. Bitches love rings.
Ficklefart 0
hahahahaha win
CantHandleMe 2
well put sir!
perdix 31
"Why should I buy the cow when I'm getting the milk for free?"
Invierno 10
Touché.
binkybaby 3
"But then she told me a story about free milk and a cow and said,'No huggy, no kissy, til I get a wedding vow'"...sorry. That's just what this entire thing reminded me of.
sourgirl101 29
Thanks 71, now I have that song in my head.
punsoh 1
"Why should she buy the pig, just for a little bacon?"
HesJustTheBest 0
#118 Your comment makes no sense, firstly because the OP's girlfriend seems quite uninterested in the "bacon", and secondly she's trying to lure the "pig" into buying her. Also if you try taking bacon from a pig you're going to be in for a world of pain (it's not as easy as taking milk from a cow I might add), and furthermore there will be concrete evidence to show the theft.
hhbett53 0
#121 Freakin' hilarious!
cuty496 0
If You like it then you should've Put a ring on it Oh Oh Oh
jansdo 1
I agree it's a great response. I say grab a girl that smart and witty like that