Today, I have a heart condition that causes migraines and fainting, so I take salt tablets to stop the fainting. The migraines can lead to a stroke, so I have medication for them. The medication has a side effect: fainting. And to avoid migraines, I should avoid salt. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, if my blood pressure rises too high I get migraines that cripple me for days, even with medication. I can’t let myself get stressed, I can’t exercise, I can’t stand up too fast if I’ve been sitting or lying down, I definitely can’t have sex, and I also can’t drink coffee. Someone shoot me. FML
Today, I woke up with a migrane, so I took one of my prescription migrane pills to get me through my day. The pill made me dizzy and nauseous, so I took a motion-sickness pill. That pill gave me a migrane. FML
Today, I was put on a medication for severe migraines. One of the side effects is difficulty concentrating and word recall. I was writing a paper and sat there trying to remember how to spell "isn't." This medication better work. FML
Today, and for the past month, I've been feeling lightheaded from a breathing problem. I've now been prescribed a medication to help with my anxiety and my breathing issue, which would in turn help stop me from getting so lightheaded. The side effect of said medication: lightheadedness. FML
Today, I was prescribed medication to treat the headaches, caused by the medication to treat the lethargy, caused by the medication to treat my crippling nerve pain, without which I'd be stuck in a wheelchair. FML
Today, I started taking my anxiety meds. Without them I can't function because I'm constantly fighting off panic attacks, but with them I can't function because I get crippling headaches and heartburn and feel tired all the time. FML
Today, I learned that pregnancy makes me more prone to migraines, but the only pain killer I can take makes me vomit. So I have to choose between being in pain and vomiting for hours on end. FML
Today, after years of high blood pressure and 3 meds for it, a doctor informed me my blood pressure is going too low, and I'm passing out. I've been told to stop the meds. This followed an increase in my meds because it's killing my kidneys. So my choices are kidney failure, or passing out. FML
Today, I'm nearly done with my cortisol treatment for a persistent multi-day migraine. Good news: it actually stopped for the last two blissful, pain-free days. Bad news: apparently anything less than the maximum dose of cortisol doesn't prevent me from getting a new migraine. Here we go again. FML
Today, I can't drink coffee anymore due to its turbo-diarrhea effect on me. I also have to take something with caffeine everyday or I will have a migraine, so I drink Diet Coke. Today, I saw on TV that even two cans of soda a week erase the heart health gains made during exercise. Goodbye, healthy hearth. FML
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Top comments
007type 26
That's beyond ******-up. Get well soon, OP.
lajaynay 15
You're just ******. :/ Maybe DocBastard has wisdom for you.
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Comments (174)
007type 26
That's beyond ******-up. Get well soon, OP.
ASD_K 11
As are the brains of 29 people.
xxGheTToGumbYxx 16
29 and counting.
77777771 12
That's a series of unfortunate events.
mega20913 8
man that does suck..maybe you should go see doctor house..if anybody can figure something out it'll be him
Mommyof2_91 10
Ah yes, I'm watching that now. Genius
thatguyyx 4
.... He died.
stolencookie 17
....It's lupus. :(
NewMetalGirl 14
All the medications cancel each other out basically.
lajaynay 15
You're just ******. :/ Maybe DocBastard has wisdom for you.
abceasyas123abc 12
Absolutely. When I first read this FML I kept scanning the comments to check whether DocBastard had posted a reply.
DocBastard 40
It's down there at #38. It's very humbling to know my opinion (well, my medical opinion, at least) is held in such high regard.
lajaynay 15
I knew you wouldn't let us down, Doc! I find your blog to be quite interesting, so, I guess you can say I am a bit biased in your favor. :D
SmeXikoE 3
*scrolls down to the 38th comment*
mikeofthunder 13
Now Doc just needs a uniform (complete with a mask and cape) and a call-sign thingy (like Batman) :D
loloalltheway 23
Yes i got lost too, read it twice to get it ...
Mideoyeo 12
My brain just imploded while reading this. Get well soon OP
movealongnow 1
Looks like you just have to find something else to avoid the fainting...or a different migraine medication with a more controllable side effect. If all else fails then getting to the source of things is always helpful. If your heart condition was caused by poor health choices maybe you can start living a healthier lifestyle now. If not, then best of luck. I'm sure your doctor can help you get things under control soon.
AholeCop 11
I did an algebra equation. Just double the dosage of the fainting medication and you should be heavily medicated.
mckibben 7
You are in fact an idiot. Doing that is the same as taking normal amounts of both and still cancel each other out.
AholeCop 11
You took it waaay too seriously.
mckibben 7
No your just an idiot. Now you're gonna rant about how you were kidding or something so you dont sound as dumb.
AholeCop 11
I don't know whats more ironic. The fact you used the wrong tense of your to call me an idiot. Or the fact you think it's more likely I did a math equation with a solution being "heavily medicated," than made an AWFUL joke.
zandalee 20
That is just awful. You poor thing. Go to at least three specialists to get advise on how to make you well again. Good luck OP.
movealongnow 1
So you're suggesting a cardiologist, a neurologist, and just out of curiosity what would the third specialist be? Otolaryngologist? Sounds expensive already...
zandalee 20
Did I say three specialists who specialize at three different things? Umm no.
movealongnow 1
I wasn't trying to bash your advice, just clarify it. I'll repeat, I was just curious. Didn't want to offend you, and I apologize if I did, wow
acetheone 8
#20 i read your comment and thought your username should be part of it. OP, that's some f'd up situation you in, hope you get better.
zandalee 20
No worries. I have met some seriously bad doctors and always get three opinions now.
movealongnow 1
Unfortunately that can be true sometimes, so knowing what you meant now I definitely agree. Obtaining a second or even third opinion is good advice if you're not comfortable with your primary care physician.
jwbfml 11
Sounds like you're better off taking nothing at all.