Today, I saw the girl that I've had a crush on forever riding her horse on the side of the road. She waved, and without thinking, I honked my horn in response. Her horse bucked her off. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my crush and I were volunteering at a local farm. He confessed to me that I'm one of the most beautiful girls he's ever seen. Just as he leaned in to kiss me, I lost my footing and fell into a pile of horse shit. He just stood there, pointing and laughing. FML
Today, I pulled my motorcycle into a wheelie when my crush drove by. She was the one who drove me to the hospital when I went over backward. FML
Today, I was riding my newly trained horse. I've recently been suffering from bad gas, and ended up farting so violently, it spooked my horse into bucking me off and running away. FML
Today, I went horseback riding with this guy I like. I asked him to help me get on the horse. I slipped, and while trying to keep my balance, I kicked him in the face. FML
Today, my horse farted and scared itself, then ran all the way up the hill and wouldn't stop until I fell off. FML
Today, I was riding my bike down a hill and noticed a pretty girl sitting at the bus stop. I guess I was staring pretty hard, because the next thing I knew, I was swerving off the road and smashing into a tree. She laughed at me. FML
Today, I saw my crush waving me over from the other end of the parking lot. I ran quickly to greet him, but in my excitement didn't take note of the giant Hummer backing out. I broke two ribs and all my crush was trying to do was warn me of the moving vehicle I was about to run into. FML
Today, I waved at my crush, but he waved at someone behind me. FML
Today, I was riding my long board. A few feet from me an attractive girl was riding one too, in the same direction. We made eye contact right as I slammed into a light pole. She then fell because she was laughing so hard. FML
Today, I saw my crush walking on the other side of the street. She hadn't noticed me, so when she did I nonchalantly looked over and casually waved to look cool. I then walked right into a lamp post. FML
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Top comments
DustyStorm 16
Aaaaand you being the quick thinker you are turned around and went back to help?
turbodewsh 2
"Honk Honk" This is the text message my crush was reading when she crashed her her horse...
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Comments (137)
DustyStorm 16
Aaaaand you being the quick thinker you are turned around and went back to help?
zandalee 20
Pulled her up by her pants - accidentally giving her such a severe wedgie that she went cross-eyed...
DustyStorm 16
The horse is strong with this one....
baconftw 9
That sounds like it would be from a romantic comedy!
siickman 7
I feel like it was an FML for her and not OP though that does suck that you caused it she was the one who got screwed.
numbersystem 4
Huh? Horses don't have horns. If they do have one then they're called unicorns or rhinocerous. Two theyre called mrs cows or mr cows. 3 horns are triceratops. 4 or more theyre just deer. Or moose.
Mischief109 11
38- uhhhhh? The only thing I can think of was that you thought OP was on a horse too? He was driving... Just thought I'd let ya know
xKandaxYuux 8
38- Horses might not have horns, but cars do.
UnluckyIrishKid 9
Also @38. Some rhinos have 2 horns.
freshlybreezy 15
38: deer have antlers. Not horns.
JurassicHole 5
38's brain obviously ruptured after reading the FML.
emibear331 4
38 actually technically horse can have horns cuz if you use a saddle the part you hold on to is called a horn js. But still wtf are you talking about?
random_jay 6
Poor 38... Tried to make a joke and nobody gets it. That's the worst kind of joke.
corinna12124 0
Yea seriously read the comment again he was in the car and honked after she waved off of her horse
TheArchAngel 8
101 - NO WHERE in the FML mentions that he was riding a car. But honestly, is it not obvious enough? "side of the road" "honked my horn"
blondebarbie1124 4
38- I don't know whether to laugh, cry, or pray for you. Try reading the FML again..?
FirebirdF350 7
@79, if you hold onto that horn on the saddle you don't know much about saddles, it is for tying a rope around so you can pull an object or animal, such as a cow or steer out of mud or water, it is not meant to hold onto, at all.
BritSkits 22
@ 119 unless you're barrel racing, in which case, you'll be flung off if you don't hold on. Also, if your horse is bucking, it doesn't really matter whether its the proper technique to hold onto the horn, you're just going to grab whatever stable surface you can.
Alexion_Danger 0
Hope you stopped to help her and ask if she was ok
HowAreYouToday 34
I think his chances are blown either way.
Sliver1991 26
Perhaps he sped away hoping she hit her head and wouldn't remember what happened!
missalkali 8
27- screw his chance with her, how about simply being a decent human being. does that work for you?
SammyS2012 21
Hey, things like that doesn't ruin his chances 27. Once, my now boyfriend threw a bottle filled with Pepsi and it hit me right on the lip, which made is swollen and bruised. I still became is girlfriend and now it's a funny story I say to embarrass him. Maybe this can be their story? :) kinda painful one though.
JackeeDawn 9
Well, there goes your chances with her.
galacticstorm 6
he can save his chances by offering her a ride in his mustang,it's much faster and comes with cup holders.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
You could say... His chances are bucked.
ebonyirony 29
They ran off with the horse.
lonestarfox 0
Punny
NiCeGuY115 14
I really hope you stopped to help her! That's awful! I hope she's ok :(
BingerGitch 15
If she was riding on the side of the road do you think she should of known her horse had to be used to cars before she went out?
the_true_batman 10
Her fault for not wearing her safety belt.
the_true_batman 10
Every down-vote is another person who doesn't wear their safety belt while riding their horse.
AGhost5445 25
Or someone who didn't find you funny.
the_true_batman 10
Really? I was sure it was what I said.
mal2012 4
LMAO!!!!! Funny comment. Those 42 ppl thumbing down. Quit lol
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Nope. Lol! *stomps on the down vote button*
theannak 7
The only safety belt on a horse, is a helmet. That's not going to keep you on. You can try to ride through the bucking if you've got a good seat, or balance, or you can bail. I'm guessing she either bailed or tried to stay on, couldn't, an fell. Either way, there is noooo safety belt.
PhishloverA 14
It was a joke 107
annalysse 8
duh it was joke.
turbodewsh 2
"Honk Honk" This is the text message my crush was reading when she crashed her her horse...
kut19 6
Lol the image of a crashed horse gave me a fit of giggles.
mckibben 7
39-Reading your comment made me think about how that would look and made me laugh
Ch0sen 13
When Mordor catches wind of this new strategy, the Rohirrim are screwed.
kewlkate 9
Those commercials make me wonder their liability. Seriously, I don't see how would you know if your sister was reading your text when she crashed?
Mischief109 11
90- but there are some of the commercials where the driver was responding and that screen is still up on the phone when the police find it.
mpjet 0
That's awful. Don't joke about that.
zandalee 20
Ring her up apologize and ask to take her out to a fancy restaurant to make it up to her. This could be 'that funny story' you both end up telling your grand kids. Good luck.
Roevera 14
Ring her up? Maybe stop and apologize the minute it happens!
zandalee 20
...I've got the feeling he drove off in mortification.
outoftown 27
(damn, wrong place)
DreaminOfMusic 0
Did you stop to make sure she was okay? If not then ydi that she'll probably never feel the same way about you.
kimmi41509 10
Oh jeez I hope she's alright. Make it up to her with a full body massage. ;)
top_dawg45 10
full body massage sounds good dont it ;)
mystashisgone 6
When life gives you lemons give her a full massage to make everything okay. Heh have to take opportunities as they come op.
narrowords 18
This doesn't sound entirely realistic... It's his crush for forever, so I doubt he's the, "Hi, sorry, full body massage?" type.
kimmi41509 10
Who wouldn't want a free full body massage? That's an offer too good to pass up!
rightspark 7
I like your style
sweetly1120 6
I wonder how her FML would end up being
galacticstorm 6
"today I was riding my horse and minding my own business when this guu who liked me passed by.I waved at him and he honked in return,causing me to be thrown off my horse and suffer a fractured vertabrae,he didn't even help...fxcker.FML (this went better as an idea,I get the feeling it was boring...fxck this)
galacticstorm 6
damn...guy* stupid touch screen keyboard
galacticstorm 6
weird,my original comment didn't post o.0