Today, my horse farted and scared itself, then ran all the way up the hill and wouldn't stop until I fell off. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was riding my newly trained horse. I've recently been suffering from bad gas, and ended up farting so violently, it spooked my horse into bucking me off and running away. FML
Today, not only did my horse step on my foot & refuse to move, he also took the opportunity to crap on my other foot while I was incapable of moving. FML
Today, I was riding a new horse when a lawnmower starting up spooked her. She jumped straight up in the air and I landed directly on the saddle horn. I can't walk or feel anything between my legs. FML
Today, while letting horses out to switch pasture, one ran at me, sending me through the electric fence and into a mud puddle. Wrapped in electric fence, I sat in that electric mud puddle, screaming every time it shocked me. Help arrived, once they'd had a good long laugh. FML
Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML
Today, I was putting my horse away into her pasture, when I slipped in the mud. In a haisty attempt to support myself, I grabbed the electric fence in on hand, and my horse with the other. The shock from the fence traveled through me to her, sending her running and leaving me with 2 broken teeth. FML
Today, I was at a rodeo warming up while my mom unnecessarily bragged about my training skills to a client. My horse then threw me into a gate at a full gallop, in front of everyone. That was the first time he'd ever misbehaved. FML
Today, I saw the girl that I've had a crush on forever riding her horse on the side of the road. She waved, and without thinking, I honked my horn in response. Her horse bucked her off. FML
Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML
Today, thinking he was being so hilarious, my friend slipped me enough laxatives to make a horse shit its intestines out. I haven't been able to move from the toilet for over an hour. FML
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Top comments
Soloman212 28
Maybe he was just actually a very polite horse and was trying to carry you as far away from the smell as possible.
Ritchie1 7
I guess you could call it A night-mare
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Comments (82)
Ritchie1 7
I guess you could call it A night-mare
CallMeWindSock 24
You could also call it a horse
Mirorbo 27
*crickets chirp*
ShyAnn29 15
1, you could if the horse is female!
thisawkwardchick 15
haha you're punny
smc3106 25
I would blame the horse, too..
ShyAnn29 15
Why'd I get down voted, I said that because a female horse is a mare
salazara 10
Don't be too hard on your horse, it needed some air.
football98_fml 20
i dont blame the horse, my farts could also be pretty scary sometimes...
Soloman212 28
Maybe he was just actually a very polite horse and was trying to carry you as far away from the smell as possible.
subwaysurfers 13
This is so cute. I can just imagine a horse thinking..."bad smell...must get Master away....I shall gallop very quickly....I will save Master."
NeatNit 33
Don't want to embarrass yourself in front of the pretty cowgirl!
skyeyez9 25
Reminds me of "Dug" the talking dog from the cartoon UP. I read it with Dug's voice in my head.
skyeyez9 25
Reminds me of "Dug" the talking dog from the cartoon UP. I read it with Dug's voice in my head.
wowthatissad 9
Oh my god. Thank you. I needed a laugh
fareith 15
30 - Or his name could be "Doug"....
BaconBob20 6
Funniest comment i've ever read
horseychickidee 19
yes I could.see my horse doing that
SuperPizzaMan_fml 11
Practice your horse balance! Its your horse after all.
botanistjessica 24
When a horse wants you off, there isn't much you can do about it. They weigh like 10x more than the average person, and they know it.
crisanba 18
Spook
Stephy94 9
Is your horse named Thunder by any chance? If so, you may be onto something.
subwaysurfers 13
If it stops right after you fall off, then something's wrong. It was waiting for you to fall off. It's evil.
WellThatSucked89 13
The horse probably didn't realize something was different til OP fell off. Most trained horses get upset about their rider falling off and come back to check on them.
Wakachulak 22
Ride 'em cowboy! Oh... you fell. Well cheer up, it happens to the best of them.
Mirorbo 27
...I feel like the moderators cut off a LOT of this one. I remember seeing it, and it included details like it was OP's first time riding and they were nervous--thus making the whole scenario worst for them since they already had a bit of anxiety over riding.
LindsayxMoore 18
Lol one of the reasons i wont ride a horse. I fell off in 06 and am terrified to get back on.
ShyAnn29 15
You should try to get back on a horse, I've fallen off a horse many times, the first time was when I was about 2 years old, I broke my collar bone.
buddy51 23
I don't want to seem like a nag or saddle you with withering neighative horsetility, but after multiple falls and broken bones, i have a haunch that NOT getting back on would be the wiser trail to ride! .
ShyAnn29 15
20, I've only broken a bone that one time, but the way I see it, is if you fall and never get back on, then it could be something that you're scared of for life.
mansen 15
I agree. I fell off my horse when I was 6 yrs old. He took off running towards home and the saddle came off with me on it. I belly slid across the meadow grass for a good cpl meters. I was terrified and bawling my eyes out; not wanting to get back on that horse. My dad made me. Forced me back on actually, telling me if I didn't, then I would never get over the fear of falling off. Glad he made me. I sported grass stains on my belly that wouldn't come off for about 2 weeks, but I wasn't afraid of riding a horse or falling off again after that.
rocketiquette 20
Most of the time, again I'm saying MOST of the time, it's the riders fault anyway... Sending confusing commands to a horse can make them rear or buck or take off. Horses get frustrated too. Both of my worse accidents were things that could've been avoided had I just thought about the outcome for a moment. So don't be a puss. Just learn from it and get back on.
zomgbies 17
oh you so punny, you real punny!
LindsayxMoore 18
Well we were walking the trail and everything was fine and ive been riding horses all my life and when we were going back to the stables, they started running and i ended up falling off like the bottom of my back and ass. It was very painful. They took the horse i was on back and put me on my dads who started acting funny so i got off and like a minute later lifted up to his hind legs. Ive been wanting to get back on but im scared. I love horses.
rocketiquette 20
59- just get back on. Sounds like they were barn sour, which means they act up when they get closer to the barn because they know that's where rest and food happens. I had a horse like that once. But if they start acting up, you take control and turn them in the opposite direction until the calm down, or else they know they can take advantage of you to get away with it every single time. You can't make it a bad experience for you or them, or else you won't want to ride and they will be ill behaved. Trust me, horses are a lot smarter than people give them credit for.
moo_and_bloo 10
Last year I had a really bad fall and chipped my hip, ruptured my spleen, bruised my kidney and tore ligaments in my back. The day after I could walk again a month later, I rode again
moo_and_bloo 10
So it can be unnerving, but if you liked it at the start, try it again. You'll have friends and people to support you