Today, my crush and I were volunteering at a local farm. He confessed to me that I'm one of the most beautiful girls he's ever seen. Just as he leaned in to kiss me, I lost my footing and fell into a pile of horse shit. He just stood there, pointing and laughing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my crush came to my house to watch movies with me. We were sitting on the couch when he turned to me and said that he had had a dream about me the night before. I moved in to kiss him, thinking he liked me. He then added that I had fallen of a cliff and he had pissed himself laughing. FML
Today, my crush took me to a park and told me he loved me. We sat on an old bench and were just about to kiss when I screamed. I now have a huge splinter in my arse and he can't stop laughing. FML
Today, I was walking with my crush, and I told him how I felt. As soon as I turned to him, a bird shit on my face. FML
Today, I threw up on my crush's lawn. FML
Today, I tried to "trip" and fall into this guy I've had a crush on. I missed and fell on my face. He stepped over me and kept walking. FML
Today, my crush grabbed my butt while I was walking up the stairs. In surprise I farted. He won't even look me in the eyes now. FML
Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML
Today, I finally told my crush I liked him. He smiled and said, “That’s sweet, but I thought you knew I was seeing someone.” I laughed awkwardly and said, “Of course, I was just joking!” Then I immediately tripped over my own bag while leaving. FML
Today, my crush confessed their love for me, and I happily told them that I felt the same way. They looked uncomfortable, so I asked why. Apparently they'd been paid to prank me. FML
Today, in art class, I tried to attract my crush's attention by slowly sitting down in front of him. Too bad I missed the chair and fell onto the floor. FML
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Top comments
TheOneTC 8
Should have pulled him in too. That would have been romantic
OldMemoriesFade 8
Well..at least he still said you were the most beautiful girl he's ever seen, and if he meant it, he will stay by your side.
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Comments (145)
espeo92 2
What a shitty situation
Nightwing98 22
Wow that hasn't been done before. Very clever....
domking1315 20
Yeah for some reason thats not as funny anymore...
Futacy 30
Seriously? Of all the bad jokes you could've made about shit, you just had to pick the least funny, most cliche one there is? I smell someone who was in a hurry to get the first comment in.
shift_love 13
Back to the future reference #34?
LiterOfCola 16
Manure in trouble now, OP!
alexhaz64 4
That's one way to dump someone...
icychill10_fml 6
Ha! I can just imagine 1 pounce on his keyboard and mash those words together just to get first.
Carmstro 13
Well that's what they get for horsing around.
Thursday737 7
I'm confused as to why 1's comment wasn't furiously downvoted.
hallett999 2
Shit happens
BlowinChronic 18
Still a better love story than Twilight.
ohthebloodygore 16
107, the number one comment is usually thumbed down because people are bloody idiots.
iTsbSkuLLy 8
Hmm imagine how much thumbs the first shit pun got .
jacsoccerdude3 10
You fell for him too soon.
chippa 24
The #1 comment was thumbed down because the exact same comment is made (and has been since the dawn of FML) on every shit-related submission!
TheOneTC 8
Should have pulled him in too. That would have been romantic
Airman1988 9
Only if your into scat.....
domking1315 20
That would've been nasty as hell. "Oh hey lets roll together in horse shit"
S182 15
Pulling someone into a pool could be romantic... I cannot think of a scenario where pulling someone into a pile of shit is romantic. I'm pretty sure that it would just piss me off.
Zomg_Okay 27
Considering he laughed, I think pulling him in too would have been justified. It would also have made an... interesting story.
_krystallynn_ 11
nothing more romantic than horse shit lol
JBChristian 47
Horse shit isn't like dog shit en stuff like that, it's actually pretty dry. It's not real smelly or sticky, so you wouldn't get to shitty.
enormouselephant 15
It's a cute and funny moment, if things work out you'll re-tell that a million times!
Snazzy_Snaz 17
OP: Remember how we started our relationship? OP's boyfriend: By rolling in a pile of horseshit? That's sooooo cuuutee
timjones 8
Hey come here hun and lets roll in horse shit. Said no man/woman ever.
Goldenchest 14
And that, kids, is how I met your mother.
WritingWrongs 8
Oh no, he totally, like, ruined the meet-cute! Her life is so totally like, OVER. (sarcasm... Just read that in a high-pitched valley girl voice)
enormouselephant 15
#80 I wish I could like that 100 times. Perfect.
WritingWrongs 8
-80, I hate "how I met your mother"(it's my opinion, go ahead and thumb me down), but I thought the Doctor Who reference in your profile was hilarious.
Pretty_Pink_Lady 10
I feel like if you hate How I Met Your Mother, you've never really watched How I Met Your Mother.
WritingWrongs 8
-120 I have watched a few episodes, how do you think I knew the reference? I always give something a chance before I decide whether I like it or not, as any other sensible person would. It's just not my taste (to put it politely).
twoitytwoitose 1
Well that's a shitty situation. ^You beat me to it.
graffitied_love 20
Shitty situation: A joke not worth posting, let alone being beat posting
Psych101 9
3- Don't worry, you're beating 1 in thumbs down.
perdix 31
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Did you drop your sunglasses in the horseshit? That's all that could have saved that joke.
mowmowlife 21
Really? Why not just let a person have their joke? Sure it's old, but it doesn't put anybody down and it's not derogatory.
CyborgBanana 12
116 - Because repetitiveness numbs the brain. Especially when it comes to shit, shit jokes like 3's comment.
OldMemoriesFade 8
Well..at least he still said you were the most beautiful girl he's ever seen, and if he meant it, he will stay by your side.
doctorhook86 25
4: And this story will be funny to them someday.
samsaf1989 5
And someday after that they'll tell their children :)
truth_spitta 0
This will be an interesting predicament if they choose to reenact this first encounter later on in marriage lol
lilhellian 27
Op hey kids let me tell y'all how your dad and I met. He pushed me in horse shit and laughed and i fell in love. The end (I know its accurate but kinda funnier this way.)
humorizer 14
Not THE. Only one of the.
jpest17 5
And then their kid will laugh about it to their step mother.
PleaseStayChill 9
Or they'll both end up sad and alone for always and eternity. Their only companions will be the flies buzzing around their head because of their attraction to the stench of failure, depression, and misery..... Oh, but sure! A corny happy ending works as well.
cloak057_fml 8
Stay by your side in horse shit...
jep00 8
Awwwwh I'm sorry! :(
LiterOfCola 16
This is my least favorite kind of comment.
perdix 31
#5, That sucks. Make him a sammich! In Soviet Russia, horse shit falls into you. Today, I'm a pile of horse shit. A girl fell into me. FML. There! I covered all the other shitty comments, so no one else has to!
LiterOfCola 16
Haha I kinda like the "Today, I'm a pile of horse shit..." one
WritingWrongs 8
Perdix, you forgot "dump him".
duckyeah 6
Well that's shitty!
Inheritance 10
Just like your over used comment.
teresee 8
Crap. That stinks.
CallMeMcFeelii 14
Every time I hear that I think of that one guy on this site that said 'No shit sure lock' instead of Sherlock. Don't know if you guys remember that but it was hilarious.
Kiki242 19
If he didn't help you up then he's not as great as you think.
nop200 3
Oh really? I though that generally when someone laughs at something like that it means they are a wonderful person.
xGolfWangx 5
Even with horse shit all over you he still thinks ur beautiful
flutter4 7
I don't think so because he laughed at her and didn't help her up. He sounds like a douche.
LolFMLnot 10
Well, it is funny, so you should just laugh along OP. Sometimes when you laugh along with people it makes the situations less embarrassing
KMtheDrummer 6
I survive on that principle, and dammit, I'm hilarious