Today, I saw my 22-year-old boyfriend blow his nose into his hand, then wipe his snot on our couch. There was a box of tissues directly in front of him. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I witnessed my boyfriend sneeze in his hands, and then lick it. FML
Today, I saw my 32-year-old boyfriend of 4 years pick his nose and eat it. The booger in question was attached to his nose and he sucked it out spaghetti-style. He then tried to kiss me. I still feel my stomach churning. FML
Today, when my boyfriend came to bed, I rolled over and watched as he used his pinky to clean out both nostrils, then eat it what he found. He’s almost 25. FML
Today, I watched in horror from the other room as my boyfriend picked the biggest, slimiest booger I've ever seen, then lowered it into his mouth, and licked his finger clean. I very nearly threw up. FML
Today, my boyfriend was about to sneeze. To avoid getting his new tablet wet, he chose to sneeze right into my face instead. FML
Today, while having fun between the sheets with my boyfriend, his allergies got the best of him and his nose started running. Every time he kissed me he'd drip snot onto my face. When I complained, he said I was being insensitive. FML
Today, I thought my boyfriend was being sweet by stroking my hair, only to discover he was getting rid of a booger. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me to pick his nose for him. FML
Today, I witnessed my husband hocking a loogie into his hand, then throwing it into the trash can and continuing to make our sandwiches. FML
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. After about five minutes, he sneezes violently on me. I don't know what's worse, him getting snot all over my intimate bits or the fact that the sneeze felt better then what he was doing. FML
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Top comments
bengermin 5
But... Tissues are for something else..
DocBastard 40
Correct. Because people can't possibly be expected to communicate with each other over something like this. Dumping him is the ONLY option.
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Comments (66)
zingline89 18
That snot good.
AlkaliSam 6
Best pun I've seen on FML in ages.
DocBastard 40
But you can't expect the poor guy to fetch the tissues, can you? I mean come on! They're like what, 3 feet away? Reaching forward like that could strain his back OR his neck, and the couch is right there for the wiping! What kind of insensitive girlfriend are you anyway? Do you WANT him to strain his neck? Some people just have no respect.
micahsmommy 13
He was trying to be green and save a tree. In this case however he probably just added green to your couch. Buy him a handkerchief for next time.
EffYoLife 14
That's grounds for dumping and kicking him out. Eeeew!
theWINDOWmonster 3
My mind automatically read "Today, I saw my 22-year-old boyfriend blow his brains out" before I got to "nose". I blame video games.
kat2812 1
that definitely would be fml worthy, fortunately we don't have to read morbid shit like that on here. i come here for the giggles, not to feel sad.
TheEpicMilkMan 13
you might want to lay off the video games if you instantly read that....
theWINDOWmonster 3
I simply cannot do that. They're too much fun.
DrDilllonReese 12
Troll boyfriend
hateevryone 15
That's nasty as hell. I wouldn't have him over anymore.
leogirl95 12
Immaturity often comes in nasty forms.
SultanRS 12
That would make for a very awkward conversation.
astralvagan 20
It's a guy thing
Zomg_Okay 27
Is it really? I just checked and I'm definitely male. Yet, I find this disgusting.
kat2812 1
nope, I am pretty sure it is a laziness thing.
wlddog 14
It's not a "guy" thing. It's more of a "nasty" or "toddler" thing.
coffee_man900 16
No it's snot. Hey, where did that extra s come from? :)