Today, I saw my 22-year-old boyfriend blow his nose into his hand, then wipe his snot on our couch. There was a box of tissues directly in front of him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I witnessed my boyfriend sneeze in his hands, and then lick it. FML
Today, I saw my 32-year-old boyfriend of 4 years pick his nose and eat it. The booger in question was attached to his nose and he sucked it out spaghetti-style. He then tried to kiss me. I still feel my stomach churning. FML
Today, when my boyfriend came to bed, I rolled over and watched as he used his pinky to clean out both nostrils, then eat it what he found. He’s almost 25. FML
Today, I watched in horror from the other room as my boyfriend picked the biggest, slimiest booger I've ever seen, then lowered it into his mouth, and licked his finger clean. I very nearly threw up. FML
Today, my boyfriend was about to sneeze. To avoid getting his new tablet wet, he chose to sneeze right into my face instead. FML
Today, while having fun between the sheets with my boyfriend, his allergies got the best of him and his nose started running. Every time he kissed me he'd drip snot onto my face. When I complained, he said I was being insensitive. FML
Today, I thought my boyfriend was being sweet by stroking my hair, only to discover he was getting rid of a booger. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me to pick his nose for him. FML
Today, I witnessed my husband hocking a loogie into his hand, then throwing it into the trash can and continuing to make our sandwiches. FML
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. After about five minutes, he sneezes violently on me. I don't know what's worse, him getting snot all over my intimate bits or the fact that the sneeze felt better then what he was doing. FML
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Top comments
bengermin 5
But... Tissues are for something else..
DocBastard 40
Correct. Because people can't possibly be expected to communicate with each other over something like this. Dumping him is the ONLY option.
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Comments (66)
Birdie_Sage 0
What the hell? That's disgusting! Make him clean it and suspend him from your house. I wonder what he does in his own home...
coffee_man900 16
Not sure but I think they might be living together. She stated, "our couch" but you never know. :)
Birdie_Sage 0
Hopefully... Or this guy isn't going to get married soon.
theonlysweetpea 10
He'd have to leave. I don't care if that was his permanent address, he'd be kicked out! We could still date (sparingly) but I could never live with him again.
jkemp1984 10
Even if there weren't tissues in front of him one would expect him to get up to go blow his nose. The fact that he used the sofa is all the more revolting. You should have smacked him in the mouth (:
wlddog 14
Someone needs a frying pan up side the head.
smokeraisins 7
FML, my dad has done this, I feel your pain. In fact, I tried posting an FML almost exactly the same as this one a few months ago, but it got rejected.
smokeraisins 7
FYL***
heavyworshiper 3
That's disgusting. Grow up.
geod69 8
Momma neva taught me to use tissue
pagullarka 9
If he doesn't respect your property, it's a sign he will not respect you either.
SevenSigns 4
Agreed. So say something about it. If he wont respect your request then its time to accept it as it is or move on from him.
pagullarka 9
The way I look at it the person you need to keep is the one where you don't have to make the request but they know or do it before you even ask, but then again very few of us get that lucky.
jmichael11 9
Those are his tissues for he gets intimate with himself.