Today, I woke up to what sounded like twigs snapping. Turns out it was the skull of a live mouse being crushed in my cat's jaws. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up to my cat slowly dragging her paw across my face. I opened my eyes to see a bloody mouse dangling an inch from my face. It was still twitching. FML
Today, my cat head-butted me awake as usual. I reached to pet him, but it wasn't his face I touched. It was the still-twitching corpse of the disemboweled rat he held in his jaws. FML
Today, my cat attempted to make up for my insomnia with a dead mouse. I have no idea where he got it. FML
Today, I woke up to a mouse sitting on my pillow and chewing on my hair. FML
Today, my cat brought home a bloody, barely-living mouse. The thing managed to escape and dragged itself into a crack in the wall, where it must have died. The only way to get it out before it starts to stink up the place is by demolishing the wall. FML
Today, I awoke at two in the morning to my cat putting his most recent kill on my chest. When I jumped up screaming, the dead mouse went flying and now my husband and I can't find it. Better yet, now both my husband and my cat are giving me the silent treatment. FML
Today, I found out that the mysterious smell from under my bed was my cats collection of dead mice. FML
Today, my cat was looking a little peaky. After craning my neck to check for lumps under his chin, he felt this was the perfect time to throw up a half-digested mouse onto my face. FML
Today, I made my way to bed around 4am after spending all night hanging out with my family. When I got to my bed, I started to clear a spot to lay down. Almost immediately, my hand touched something furry and cold and, fearing the worst, I turned the light on. Turns out my cat left me a half eaten rodent. FML
Today, I set up a mouse trap to kill the rodent plaguing my kitchen. While lying in bed, I heard an unmistakable snap, and ran to see what I'd caught. The mouse trap was missing. I now have a large, angry, and possibly dying animal running around my house. FML
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Top comments
LaughinStock 16
Huh seems like Tom finally caught Jerry :)
RedPillSucks 33
She brings you presents and all you do is complain.
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Comments (112)
bengermin 5
The other other white meat.
TurtlesAreEpic 0
So much win!
mikeymayhem_87 15
And full of rabies!!
Cad6 24
#60 - Mice don't have rabies. And if you're referring to the cat, you indirectly called the OP an idiot because only an idiot would keep a cat with rabies in his/her house.
Squishypenguin 0
Over analyzation? Just kidding :) I just wish I had a keen eye
ZeroIce 12
Jeff Dunham XD
sailorzoe 14
That's so metal.
OHai15 12
Damn nature! you scary!!
Krirn 21
Your mice problem got taken cared of, where's the FML?
Jessic1 5
How could you stand to Hear and see that!
schnouttz 3
with her legs.
False_Stupidity 42
OP is a guy.. Just so you know.
LaughinStock 16
Huh seems like Tom finally caught Jerry :)
Cad6 24
Nah, Spike has that covered.
RedPillSucks 33
She brings you presents and all you do is complain.
shinshoku13 19
Well the cat should have wraped it
friedchickenpie 14
Spelling - it makes the difference between pronunciations. So anyway, I think the cat would be a bit too big to have "wraped" the mouse. Does that count as **********?
boydeee01 7
It was still funny, even though he spelled it wrong.
gracehi 33
Wow, 17, you are just sooooo smaaaaart. *Rolls eyes*
RedPillSucks 33
non-human sex does not count as **********. And why would the cat rape his gift? Seems uncharitable.
ADuckOnQuack_fml 0
Sounds like he has a delicious present for you!
DaKillaMafia 2
Were they on you?
bowser_rawr16 13
That sounds like such a wonderful thing to wake up to. I'm sorry OP. Poor mouse :(
Squishypenguin 0
Cats need sustenance to, it's only natural.
mike3775 39
At least you have a cat that is willing to catch mice. My cat would lay there and watch the mouse scurry about and not do a damn thing
starwind3438 9
Is your cat related to Garfield by any chance?
Ferretface 13
Is your cat Garfield by any chance?
False_Stupidity 42
Nah, Garfield wouldn't just watch, he would socialise with the mouse and get some cheese for him even.
mike3775 39
No idea, but my cat is super lazy. Even when it goes outside to lay in the grass, a bird could land in front of him and he just look at the bird and then put its head back down. My 2 dogs on the other hand, would chase the mouse or bird
M0NK3Yz 2
if you dont want the cat ill take it