Oh, hello

Today, my dad came home from work early only to walk in on me and the boy I'm not supposed to be seeing having sex. Did I mention doggie style? FML

Today, my boyfriend sneaked into my room, not knowing I wasn't home. It would have been great, except my dad went in my room to put laundry away. FML

Today, I got home early from work. When I got home I got to see my dad chasing my mom around the house, naked. FML

Today, I found my boyfriend making out with my mom. FML

Today, my boyfriend picked me up to take me on a date. Just as we were about to drive away, my dad ran out of the house in his underwear and started yelling that he'd kill my boyfriend if I wasn't back home within the hour. FML

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents over dinner. During the meal, he excused himself to the bathroom, and when he didn't come back after a few minutes, I went to check up on him. I ended up finding him in the living room, pocketing a pack of ambien from my mom's bag. FML

Today, I woke up early, showered, dressed, and made the 40 minute drive to work, only to discover when I arrived that today was my day off. When I got home my live in boyfriend was gone. I called and he told me he was at the beach, right near my work. FML

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and we were just about to kiss. Until his mum walked in saying his girlfriend was at the door. I thought I was already there. FML

Mistaken identity

Today, my boyfriend and I slept together. In the middle of the night, he saw my phone receiving a text from someone saying, "Hey baby, I missed you so much! I'm going to be visiting in a couple of days, hope to see you again, I love you!" He got mad and left my house. It was my dad in Ohio. FML

Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML