Today, I saw my 22-year-old boyfriend blow his nose into his hand, then wipe his snot on our couch. There was a box of tissues directly in front of him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I witnessed my boyfriend sneeze in his hands, and then lick it. FML
Today, I saw my 32-year-old boyfriend of 4 years pick his nose and eat it. The booger in question was attached to his nose and he sucked it out spaghetti-style. He then tried to kiss me. I still feel my stomach churning. FML
Today, when my boyfriend came to bed, I rolled over and watched as he used his pinky to clean out both nostrils, then eat it what he found. He’s almost 25. FML
Today, I watched in horror from the other room as my boyfriend picked the biggest, slimiest booger I've ever seen, then lowered it into his mouth, and licked his finger clean. I very nearly threw up. FML
Today, my boyfriend was about to sneeze. To avoid getting his new tablet wet, he chose to sneeze right into my face instead. FML
Today, while having fun between the sheets with my boyfriend, his allergies got the best of him and his nose started running. Every time he kissed me he'd drip snot onto my face. When I complained, he said I was being insensitive. FML
Today, I thought my boyfriend was being sweet by stroking my hair, only to discover he was getting rid of a booger. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me to pick his nose for him. FML
Today, I witnessed my husband hocking a loogie into his hand, then throwing it into the trash can and continuing to make our sandwiches. FML
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. After about five minutes, he sneezes violently on me. I don't know what's worse, him getting snot all over my intimate bits or the fact that the sneeze felt better then what he was doing. FML
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Top comments
bengermin 5
But... Tissues are for something else..
DocBastard 40
Correct. Because people can't possibly be expected to communicate with each other over something like this. Dumping him is the ONLY option.
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Comments (66)
Ks22 4
Ahh definite sign to dump him.
DocBastard 40
Correct. Because people can't possibly be expected to communicate with each other over something like this. Dumping him is the ONLY option.
Birdie_Sage 0
Nope, I think it's either him or your furniture is going to go through hell.
auntycj 0
Seriously, by 22? He's disgusting. I expect that from my 3 year old, but even then he gets a reminder to use a Kleenex and possibly a time-out if he did it on purpose (aka looked me in the eye while wiping boogers on the couch) if your BF still has no concept of the appropriate disposal of bodily secretions, it's time to cut your losses and move on.
noto_fml 0
Think ks22 was being sarcastic.... Let's calm down before all jumping on him
1crabbygirl 10
Dirty, disgusting and disrespectful. You can't take it out in public, that's a deal breaker ladies. And do I hear men advocating she should *change* the bf?! Maybe she already has a job.
1crabbygirl 10
as if you know?
bengermin 5
But... Tissues are for something else..
olpally 33
Ba-zinga! :D
TheEpicMilkMan 13
exactly, that's why he used the couch he was saving them for another occasion ;D
bryanorange 3
"fap, fap, fap"
haZzbin 0
69 likes :D
sourgirl101 29
Throw the box of tissues at him and make him clean up his mess!
jonriise18 3
20 - WHAT!?!?!?
Mommyof2_91 10
So he can beat her up for throwing a box of Kleenex at him..ya cuz that hurts so bad... Wth? If a guy beat a women for something so petty then there would be a problem..
ladyLALAA 29
20, I though you had gone back to your normal comments again. But no, here you come with your dictionary and thesaurus again!
SignUpisntcool 3
50- I actually thumbed up your comment, but I don't know if that's just me.
Krirn 21
Did he wipe his nose on the arm rest afterwards? Or on the headrest?
LoveMay 10
Does it really matter?
RedPillSucks 33
Good to know you're dating a man-boy
ADuckOnQuack_fml 0
Eh... Tell him to use tissues next time. If he doesn't, make a witty remark. Haha! That will show him!
naddification 7
A witty remark such as.....?
coffee_man900 16
Such as... "How would you feel if I wiped my ass on your couch?" Then punch him.
M0NK3Yz 2
LoL , you should had made him lick it clean
tillman707 0
Its a man! Lol
mike3775 39
I really hope you mentioned something to him about it, instead of simply running to FML to post about it
WCARlover 35
I definitely read "couch" as "crotch" at first
micahsmommy 13
I think OP probably would have preferred crotch. A pair of trousers are easier to clean than the couch.
Brittany1200 2
Haha yea thats how i read it
Jakesterk96 8
Lol, I did the same and was wondering "our crotch"?