Today, I had a pig kidney dissection in Biology. I see a 'sack' which appeared to contain a liquid. Being the curious type, I cut open the sack, spraying said liquid over me and my desk. My teacher, after giggling, informed me that the liquid was in fact urine. I was pissed on by a dead pig. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I was teaching my 10th grade biology honors class, a student came in with a dead frog and asked if we could dissect it. He tried to toss it to me and missed, so it landed in a girl's lap. She threw up all over me. FML
Today, I was dissecting a pig for my anatomy class. The smell of four day-old dead pig caused me to faint. My mom drove me home and warmed me up some left overs for lunch. It was pork chops. FML
Today, I was teaching my microbiology lab class as a graduate TA. Some dumbass frat boy dared his friend to drink a tube of E. coli and the idiot did it. Now everything in the lab is contaminated with vomit. FML
Today, my professor tried to scare the hiccups out of me. Some pee came out instead. FML
Today, I threw up in bio when we dissected cow hearts. Guess that rules out my childhood passion as a possible career. FML
Today, I was really excited to be observing my first autopsy for my forensics class. Apparently so was the guy behind me. He barfed up ramen noodles all over my hair and back. I couldn't leave the room to clean up. For two hours. FML
Today, I arrived at work early. I noticed the plants on the side of my classroom could use some water so I went out to do so. On the way, I found a beer can. Not wanting the kids to see it, I picked it up but some spilled on my dress. I quickly noticed a familiar smell. No, not beer. Urine. FML
Today, while working at my new job at a veterinary hospital, I was excited that I set a urinary catheter in a dog for the first time. I guess I was a little too enthusiastic though, because I pulled it out too fast and bloody urine splashed up all over my face. FML
Today, I'd started dialysis and the cap at the end of my PD tube came off. It’s meant to stop infection, and it’s filled with betadine. I said I had to go to the office. My teacher wouldn’t let me, so I walked out of class. I got detention for trying to prevent getting a major infection. FML
Today, my college roommate is a Studio Art major. For a project, she brought home a pig's intestine to keep in our tiny dorm room freezer. FML
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Top comments
john_bell 0
Did you seriously think that there would be something good in that sack.
kitties_fml 12
dude. you don't just go around slicing open sacks of liquid in dead pigs. YDI
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Comments (104)
bexox 0
I dissected a sheep brain today.
suaveneanderthal 0
I find it very hard to believe that the very small urinary bladder of a pig fetus had enough urine in it to squirt out upon you when you cut it... maybe it was another organ you cut?
myfriend_youfail 3
Oh, I wouldn't be so sure about that, #14. The fluids they use to preserve specimens can also be quite messy, and if you're using one hand to hold down the organ and the other to cut, you could squirt any fluids inside all over yourself. Try filling a balloon with water, poking a hole in it with a pin, and then squeezing it. See what happens.
neonokku 0
EW
DameGreyWulf 1
Eeheeheee, just like when we dissected fish! Squirt fights ftw Also, OP, HAAAHAW but that's what you get for not paying attention when they went over the organs.
RedRobster 0
Unless you get some cheap-ass pigs, they clean the body fluids out of the pigs. The only fluids in there, besides water, are the ones that preserve the bodies. They would not leave urine in a pig, because urine is all waste products (they hurt the preservation of the body).
Celt729 1
They never said "fetus", only pig kidney. Just because general dissection is usually a pig fetus or rat doesn't mean there can't be more specified dissections. Like the sheep brain, or a cow's eye, pig heart. YDI btw. Who pokes around randomly in a kidney? Obviously you don't know what they're for.
RedRobster 0
Regardless of it just being a kidney or the entire pig fetus, they would still empty out the fluids before shipping them out for dissection purposes.
StaticDown 0
In my high school, the teacher would just go to a butchers shop and get something... we disected some heart once and a fish... She's from U.K so maybe it was the same....
Celt729 1
When we dissected, they always came in a bucket full of fluid. Maybe that's what came out?
allmidnighteyes 11
Goldenhog shower
Sun_Kissed18 25
Ok, I really had to stop eating after reading all of this...
Ellowise_fml 0
I held a human brain ;) Just be careful next time during dissections
Peroxide 3
Give RyeBreadBoy back his brain!!!
Seni_Seviyorum_fml 0
Mmmmmmmmm.... lovely.
kitties_fml 12
dude. you don't just go around slicing open sacks of liquid in dead pigs. YDI
roadie42 21
Real biology nerds do - it's how you distinguish between the "I'm such a nerrrrd LOL" types and the truly awesome science people. Curiosity for the win! *high fives OP*
john_bell 0
Did you seriously think that there would be something good in that sack.
Fall3nAnq3lx 0
curiosity killed the cat
spaerro 8
And the pig too, apparently.
RyeBreadBoy 0
Why were you cutting open the bladder if you were supposed to be dissecting the kidney? Also, why did they give you an entire pig (I assume it was probably a baby pig) if you only need the kidney? Seems like they could get a bunch of kidneys from a slaughterhouse for far less money than entire pigs.
Araya_fml 0
It was only the Pig Kidney - I bought it from Morrisons, a local supermarket. It was a little sack within the kidney :/
Peroxide 3
I really don't know where to begin with your comment. Did Ellowise take your brain?? You might wanna lay off the rye bread.
Araya_fml 0
Quite possibly.
ISellHerbs 0
An author actually replied for once. Kill me now.
AntiChrist7 0
Curiousity killed the pig?
Bright_Lights 14
That last line is the best: "I was pissed on by a dead pig" LOL.
lrb081 0
Well now, that gives a whole new meaning to "hog wash."
boatkicker 5
Yes.