Today, I was on my third date with this really cute girl. After a very romantic evening, I decided to go for the first kiss, but because of my nervous reflex in which I get bloody noses, I ended up bleeding all over her face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was on a date with a girl and everything was going great. As I took her back to her house and walked her to her door, I leaned in for a kiss. She seemed to really enjoy it, so I went for another but as I leaned in again, I sneezed uncontrollably, shooting her face with saliva and snot. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to the movies. She's pretty conservative and I decided after four dates to give her her first ever kiss. As I leaned in she violently sneezed and hit me in the nose with the hand she brought up to cover her face. I broke my nose and got blood down her cleavage. FML
Today, while on a first date, I leaned in to kiss her, but my lips somehow brushed against her nose instead. I panicked and ended up kissing her forehead like a grandma saying goodbye to a child. FML
Today, I was making out with this guy when my nose started bleeding, and it got on his face. FML
Today, after a great first date, he leaned in to kiss me. I held my breath slightly. This resulted in me breathing out through my nose, blowing a huge snot bubble, which then burst on his face. He looked at me in horror and walked away. FML
Today, I went straight from a kickboxing class to a first date. I coughed and a tooth that must have been knocked loose during free sparring fell into my hand, and I got blood on my shirt and the table. My date had a blood phobia and passed out, breaking her own front tooth on the table edge FML
Today, after my first dinner with my new girlfriend, I was using a toothpick when I fell, stabbing the roof of my mouth. She then laughed at me, as there was so much blood. FML
Today, I saw a cute guy walking out of a restaurant. When he saw me, he smiled and to be a bit flirty I bit my lip. Too bad it started to bleed like hell. FML
Today, I had my first real date with my first serious boyfriend. I was nervous because from past experience. I learned my lips were a bit ticklish and I usually giggled a bit during kissing. Well, we started making out and I thought was I doing pretty good hiding my laughs. Until I wet myself. FML
Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML
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Top comments
Vehicle 1
one time my nose randomly started bleeding when I was making out with someone and we just laughed about it. if she is worth your time she will understand.
RedPillSucks 33
you bloody idiot
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Comments (169)
marinus_fml 20
It could have been a lot worse!
FlyMeToTheMoon 0
Bless! Hopefully she understands!
skroal 7
YDI for being on your third date with this really cute girl. After a very romantic evening, you decided to go for the first kiss, but because of your nervous reflex in which you get bloody noses, you ended up bleeding all over her face.
mona_is_here 10
should have taken some calming drug if you knew you would be getting nervous
airborn54 0
To bad she's not a vampire huh?
mona_is_here 10
lol marinus, you've found a way to comfort the ops?
marinus_fml 20
haha yes Mona I try my best :)
Jessi2487 0
ugh! OP i hope u have a clean bill of health thts nasty
americuzz 8
I'm sorry op!! that sucks but if she doesn't understand then she's not the girl for you!!
MyNameIsInvictus 0
If cum comes out her nose then it's an Alaskan Fire Dragon!
theian01 3
there's an anime reference to be made...
iSitt 0
should keep a condom over his nose
Skroal_stomper 5
Oh my Skroal. I am so proud of you. you have shown us all that you can read and then copy said reading back word for word. I bet your mommy is so proud of her little immature baby. At least she told me she was last night in bed.
mona_is_here 10
27 FTW!!!
TheDBag 0
honestly? could you be more hypocritical, you just called him an immature baby and then mad a "I slept with your mom last night joke", yea very mature. look at yourself before you tell someone else to, dumbass.
JuliaM1000 10
ROFL!!! I don't get it. where were u bleeding FROM that got it on ur face?
JuliaM1000 10
Oh wait... I thought it said BODY NOISES. nvm
omgtacos 0
36 read your name and shut the **** up
Timmo_fml 2
Yes 27! Skroal should **** riiiiight off!
MarkSeattle 0
dude get your blood pressure checked, seriously... then laser the hell out of your nose...
knight0748 5
YDI for attempting to blood kiss. icky...
th3b0ss 0
yeah #20.....
illmatic2 16
Skroal stomper, you are acting way more immature then skroal. Just sayin.
AA357 0
lmfao@skroal_stomper
the_ace1337 0
skroal_stomper for the win!
b_anhero 0
wait.. when u get nervous u bleed from the face? thats gotta be the worst defense mechanism ever. fyl
nerdsgetmehot 23
#67 I agree, that's a pretty unfortunate nervous reflex! I used to get panic attacks when I was nervous (and sometimes I still do).
Skroal_stomper 5
57 Says the boy with the flaming ball in his hand.
illmatic2 16
skroal stomper that doesn't make any sence.
Skroal_stomper 5
74 It makes perfect sense (the correct way to spell it). You make comments about being immature but you have to try to impress by having a pic of you doing something dangerous. That's immature.
rawrkira 3
chibi vampire!
illmatic2 16
Ohhhhh I get it! You're judging me by my picture! That's definetly a mature thing to do. I smell hypocracy.
Mehness 0
dont bother with skroal_stomper, illmatic. you'll just be feeding the troll (btw, I think skroal is funny...well, it's more of how you guys react that makes me lol. for example, he already has one stalkerhater :3)
Mehness 0
It's just like the animes where people get explosive nosebleeds from seeing naked women :3
illmatic2 16
I think skroal has more then one stalker already. I just felt like pointing out his hypocracy.
Skroal_stomper 5
87 you got it. hit the nail right on the head. have I ever denied it? Nope. I guess you just have to deal with it.
illmatic2 16
I'll deal with it lol :). You don't bother me. And you are going to have to deal with skroal. Especially if you keep giving him the attention that he wants.
melsaraj 9
stop hating on skroal.. he adds to the fml
melsaraj 9
he adds more humor to the fml*
Skroal_stomper 5
92 how does repeating the post word for word add to the humor?
Skroal_stomper 5
90 you think it bothers me? wow I guess you know me so very well. did u ever stop to think I do it because I like ******* with him? he dosent bother me at all. I do see that you are bothered by me by how you have to respond to me. I can say mission successful looser.
illmatic2 16
^ liar.
helloheart0777 0
I love ur body!!
TAKERofLIFE 0
cut him a break
Berkies 0
YDI for thinking you could kiss a girl, fatass.
charlcielove 0
YDI for waiting till the third date. Prude.
MsBrainDamage 0
Hahaha @ skroalstomper!! Illmatic if we can't judge you by your picture what else are we supposed to judge you on? If the Internet has taught us anything... (& I agree holding a flaming fireball with dopey look on your face = immature, well unless you are recreating Mario that would be awesome but I don't see a Mario costume. So next time you make fireballs dress up in Marios special fireball costume n then take a picture, it will be much more awesome and less immature of you)
melsaraj 9
95 it's because he goes through the trouble of rewording it to get a laugh through ppls replies. I don't know how to explain it but I wen through like 10 fmls and I saw skroal rewording and than I saw like 20 ppl bash him but it was funny what they were saying.. he knows that though. it's all about what u find funny, to him doing this is funnier than than the fml.
bwhahaha_fml 10
well op. at least you did not puke on her
illmatic2 16
You can judge me by what I say in my comments. btw I still don't see how my picture is immature. My friend and I were bored one day and we did this just for fun. I really don't see anything wrong with that.
Skroal_stomper 5
sorry illmatic u loose.
illmatic2 16
Lose what?
Austino713 0
skroal stfu ur so annoying!!!
lildrummerboy47 0
#8 - nice pic. is that a baroque organ? like with manually operated bellows?
Tenebrae 0
IT'S JUST LIKE ONE OF MY JAPANESE ANIMES.
MsBrainDamage 0
The battle!!! And "fun" is immature!
mike_from_the_sc 0
skrol stomper was made to destroy the evil skrol
Brittney_E 0
makes me remember the 'Blood Brothers' from Superbad. :D
Ctwebsyter 0
how exactly could it get worse than mid-makeout, blowing bloody snotbubbles all over your dates face...?
shuey1234567890 0
wow I was gonna kiss my girlfriend for the first time on my third date (and I still will) I just hope that doesn't happen to me lol
Pimpshine99 0
Culd been worse... she culda bled on ur face :P if u know what I mean
ItsAUnicorn 27
Sounds like Mayo Chiki to me..
AliaChen 5
yea, you could've puked on her like the girl on a different FML only like six down.
Vehicle 1
one time my nose randomly started bleeding when I was making out with someone and we just laughed about it. if she is worth your time she will understand.
h2opoloplaya 0
it's probably not a reaction but started because your blood pressure went up coming through the wall of your nose
RedPillSucks 33
you bloody idiot
Thepaperhero 1
Terrible Pun
winniebabi 0
I agree it could have been worse -- maybe she will think it's cute that you make her nervous >.>
Ludii_fml 0
that she makes you nervous*
frozenshake 5
I think it's kinda cute that he waited till the third date :D
raininsnow 0
aww, hope it still works out
magaliwoodrock 19
yea it could of been worse if she really likes you she won't care.
Jimboom 12
Bloody hell! Though you might be able to save that one. Tell her you only get bloody noses in very close proximity to amazingly gorgeous women. But then again that could put her off you too. Next time shove a tampon up your nose! ;-)
justsayfuck 5
Yes, because a tampon in your nose wouldn't put anyone off :D
rileybrownie 0
ahahah shove a tampon in your nose!!! lmao
claudiame 0
so sorry. I get nosebleeds too
calililly93 0
Keep bleeding, keep keep bleeding love....
sky01 0
I doubt anyone is that stupid:p
Ludii_fml 0
ahaha she'd have to be really naïve for that..
TheDBag 0
just shut up right there.