Letting yourself go

Today, after months of isolating and shielding, suffering through the isolation of having caught COVID and letting my hygiene, diet and exercise programme go to shit, I can officially say my pubes are now longer than my penis, but it’s ok because my belly now hangs over my belt so I can’t even see it anyway. FML

Today, I was giving a talk in class, when halfway through someone pointed out that my pubes were sticking out my trousers. FML

Today, I'm dating a guy who's back hair is longer than his dick. FML

Today, I realized how bad my grey hair problem has gotten as I noticed I had grey pubes. I'm only 23. FML

Today, I had to accept the fact that I'm going bald, after I noticed the hair on my chest is longer than the hair on my head. FML

Today, I realized that I can tell how long it has been since I have been with a guy, by the length of my leg hair. FML

Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML

Today, I realized my girlfriend has more hair on her abdomen than I have on mine. FML

Today, I had to come to terms with the fact that I'm getting older because my pubic hair is turning white. FML

Shaving!

Today, my girlfriend told me that if I shaved, my penis might seem bigger. FML