Today, I realized that my coach doesn't close the door and the blinds to perform half-naked body checks (to make sure his team is in shape) on anyone else but me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend's parents walked in on us having sex. Not only did her dad make me walk out to my truck with no clothes on, he is my baseball coach and I will be seeing him on Monday. FML
Today, in basketball practice my coach was putting is in teams to run drills. He points to me and says, "You, go babysit my son by the stage." FML
Today, I was in the gym when I noticed three trainers who worked there staring at me. Thinking that they were checking me out, i turned the speed on the treadmill higher. Finally one of the trainers came over, and asked me to leave until I got a sports bra that actually worked. FML
Today, a new session started for my swimming squad. I walked down to the pool, tripped over a stray equipment bag, and belly-flopped into the pool in front of everyone, fully clothed. I'm the coach. FML
Today, I accidentally tackled my own teammate during a rugby match, so our coach made me walk the 5 miles back home instead of driving me home with the rest of the team. FML
Today, I had a gymnastics meet. I thought I was done with my period, but when I was up on the beam warming up my routine, one of my coaches called me down and told me that I apparently wasn't. My coach goes around asking my teammates moms if they had any pads. My dad caught this all on tape. FML
Today, I needed to pee at my friend's house. His bathroom door is often left closed even if there's no one in there, so I knocked just to make sure. His stepdad opened the door stark naked. FML
Today, I walked into the restroom at work, only to find my boss stroking and playing with himself. I have my annual performance assessment with him in an hour. FML
Today, at the gym, a very attractive lady was working out in front of me, wearing tiny shorts that left zero to the imagination. I kept trying to avert my gaze, until her extremely buff boyfriend came over and threatened me. My crime? I wasn’t checking out his girl enough. FML
Today, my boss decided to start a sport challenge where we should set a training goal and report about achieving it. Okay, I go to the gym a few days a week, but I'm really not interested in this collective motivation crap. Later, our boss hinted that if I don't take part, I may get fired for breaking the team spirit. FML
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Top comments
zrhcrx 0
report him...that behavior sounds suspicious
drawne 0
I could be wrong, but I think sexual abuse goes quite a lot further than simply "FML"...
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Comments (91)
log1k 3
This is a horribly worded FML...
Spaceghost77 0
You should hit it!!
plexico 4
Another possibility is that the coach is protecting you from embarrassment because the answer to the question of whether you are in shape is a big, fat NO.
protooler31 0
only in Tejas...
christianlucas 0
lol.. maybe u are just that cute... post a pic..lol
mel4joe2015 21
You, sir, are an ass.
bubblybrooke 12
wow that's creepy. is he allowed to do that? male or female? which half?
ry274 0
After looking at your profile and finding our you are in fact a girl this is a YDI for just now thinking this was a little creepy. You probably should have said something within the first second this happened the very first time. Spare yourself avoidable sexual harassment
The_Pleb 0
toxico and plexico have some kind of weird ass internet relationship goin on
plexico 4
You're just discovering that now? Do you want a cookie?
Intoxicunt 6
I giggled. Yeah, basically what plexico said. Furthermore, great minds think alike, blah blah blah. You should see the other relationships I have with people on here. I've adopted one user. :)
GR3453m0nk3y 4
really?? wow intoxicunt i'd like to hear how that adoption came about
Intoxicunt 6
I don't even remember. It would take hours of hunting to find the comments. I didn't literally adopt her, I just call her my kid now. plexi is my future baby-daddy, I have several lovers (sorry, plex, I have problems staying faithful), and now a kid. :)
plexico 4
Oh, how could you, Toxi, I don't even cheat on you with my wife! I guess I shouldn't be so possessive. Once you knock out a bunch of mini-plexes with me (a multi-plex?), you can do whatever you want with your body.
Intoxicunt 6
plexi: Hahaha. I'm sorry. It's just that you're not here, so these other people are the next best thing. What if YOU are what I want to do with my body?
plexico 4
Well, then that is you exercising your free will . . . delightfully.
anything_els 0
multiplex,clever.
Intoxicunt 6
Well then, you I shall do!!
plexico 4
And why am I surprised, The_Pleb? Go chug some Milk of Magnesia and try to take a dump, you dusty, old fart!
xyz22 0
coaches can tell VERY easily whether you're in shape or not just by watching you play... id say 'you should have known' except that it's more likely a case of 'obvious troll is obvious'
bubbarific 0
mayB he justs want to make sure ur in great physical shape jk just playin devil's advocate, hes definitely checking u out