Today, a new session started for my swimming squad. I walked down to the pool, tripped over a stray equipment bag, and belly-flopped into the pool in front of everyone, fully clothed. I'm the coach. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried to impress our swim team coach by doing a complicated backflip from the diving board. I landed face-first in the pool and had to be rescued by the lifeguard, so I guess I won't be going to the Olympics any time soon. FML
Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML
Today, in my lifeguarding course, I had to pull a 200-pound boy out of the pool in an exercise to practice using our legs when lifting. I, being only 90 pounds, tried pulling and ended up falling into the pool, landing with my lady parts on his face. FML
Today, I went swimming at a public pool. When I dove in, my speedos decided they’d had enough of me and slipped right off. I spent a minute underwater debating my life choices before realizing they’d floated to the shallow end, right next to a group of giggling kids. FML
Today, at the pool, I tried to impress the hot lifeguard by doing the perfect dive. Afterward, I realized my shorts were floating through the water. FML
Today, my swim coach had me swim a 400 meter freestyle. Feeling a little sick near the end, I lifted my head to breathe, then burped, and threw up violently all in the pool. All my team mates screamed horrified running out of the pool, and now they have to drain it. I was told not to come back. FML
Today, I thought I'd impress my friends with a backflip into the pool. I ended up smacking my back on the edge of the diving board and belly-flopping into the water. Now I have a bruise and a story that everyone is intent on retelling. I'm just glad no one was filming me. I hope. FML
Today, my friend pushed me into the swimming pool. Unfortunately, we were eight feet away from the actual pool, so I face-planted and rolled in. FML
Today, I decided to get back in shape so I went swimming. I only managed 10 lengths and was completely out of breath. I was so embarrassed that when a lifeguard asked me if I was OK, I made up a story about a leg injury as a reason to leave only 15 minutes after I got in. FML
Today, I was in swimming practice at the pool. I suddenly got breathless, dizzy, and felt like I was drowning. I cried out to the instructor, telling him I had a weak heart. He shouted back, "I don't care about your love life! Swim, bitch!" FML
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Top comments
MissSatan 16
Casually get up and say "and that, my friends, is a perfect example of what not to do"
CrikOgresmasher 19
Should've pulled a Willy Wonks and pretended it was on purpose
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Comments (64)
CrikOgresmasher 19
Should've pulled a Willy Wonks and pretended it was on purpose
rbubbles 20
Well you didn't drown, use your situation as a prime example on how to keep yourself afloat if you fall into water
BSnapZ 21
I really hate it when people post a completely unrelated comment as a reply to the first comment, just so that it appears at the top.
baseballbv 17
He needed to follow up with, "If you practice hard enough, you'll be able to do that".
elibel 16
Hopefully you didn't have your phone in you!
blueiceninja 13
I would hope he didn't have his phone IN him.
jake_braves 25
Ohh the humiliation, brutal! Lol sorry OP but this is funny. I feel bad for you though.
Aquila_Umbrae 26
Ouch. Did you have a nice trip?
coklara 15
I hope he has a nice fall
Aquila_Umbrae 26
I forgot FML hates jokes.
jake_braves 25
I liked your joke 49/2 it was a good one.
Aquila_Umbrae 26
Yay, someone with a sense of humor!
markcallanan_ 20
And tat
MissSatan 16
Casually get up and say "and that, my friends, is a perfect example of what not to do"
Monkey_language 15
"And that, my friends, is why you always check your surroundings when approaching a swimming pool!"
mister_icicle 17
First lesson - watch your step. ;-)
urdirtyolduncle 15
Is he gonna drown himself and then say "lesson number 2, try not to drown"
BlueConverse 7
that's not funny.
markcallanan_ 20
And that my friends, is how to do a belly flop
foxwasalamb 24
well to be fair, you're not teaching them how to walk. your swimming abilities as a coach have not yet been compromised
MrConcise 35
But his drowning abilities have. He got out of such a perilous situation and lived to tell about it!
demonhunter3220 14
"And that, everybody, is what not to do. Hope it's helpful to someone."
Corvo_Attano_4 12
Act like you did it on purpose and then make them practice their belly flops
xoteeshaox 22
I think whoever's equipment bag who was out in the open should be forced to do the belly flop.
ethan_unoxx 29
Ouch. That hurt.