Today, I realized that my boyfriend will only have sex with me if I am on my stomach and not revealing my face. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend finally told me after over two years together that the reason we only have sex once a month is because my stomach is, “off-putting”. FML
Today, my boyfriend informed me that from now on during sex, I have to be on top at all times, saying I need the exercise more than him. As offensive as this was, I was actually happy because he's crap on top. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend would rather jerk off to porn than to ever touch me, even if I wear a naughty outfit. FML
Today, my boyfriend kept pressuring me to get it on. I told him I was self-conscious abut my stomach and didn't want him to see it. His response? My double chin doesn't keep him from kissing me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing a game where you ask sexual questions and you have to give an honest answer. At one point, I asked my boyfriend what his favorite position is, to which he quickly answered with no hesitation, "Any one where I don't have to see your face or body." FML
Today, I realized my boyfriend uses sex as a way to get me to stop talking. FML
Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML
Today, after weeks of no sex, my boyfriend finally decided to have sex with me. While we were getting into it I accidentally farted in his face while his mouth was open. No more sex for me. FML
Today, I was feeling a little racy and decided to send my boyfriend some naked pictures of myself. He responded, "That's OK, but does your face have to be in them?" FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to see more of his passionate side. He pushed my head down towards his lap. FML
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Top comments
jess6blondie9 3
What a nice boyfriend you've got there. You should find someone that appreciates you for more than just sex.
pablothepenguin 2
Your face is his **** block...?
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Comments (61)
ShammyGirl 0
um... that's a no bueno. you are worth a lot more than just a sex toy. next time make him wear a bag over his head or he doesn't get anything at all. but I hope you break up so there won't be a next time.
Gerrito 0
I know people who only like it like that and it wouldn't even work otherwise, so talk about it with gin.
sblylaw 0
bag it? :) you're missin out on some fun positions!
ujstgtpwnd73 0
U-G-L-Y! SHE AINT GOT NO ALIBY! SHE UGLY!
apcfan009 0
in his defence, laying on ure stomach during sex makes it easier to hit your g spot? assuming he's big enough to reach anyway
sblylaw 0
let's hope he's big enough, if not find a MAN who likes your face:)
chalmers86 0
Have you ever considered he might just like it deep? The mother of all **** ups is assumption ... quit moaning here and open your mouth.
FairyTales_fml 6
that sucks... but at least he can't see your face as you pretend to be having the big O :)
nika10105 14
dump that bustard!!!!
N3v43h 0
Tell him he should just to come to terms with his homosexuality. Then break up with him.
yup0308 7
Look back at it