Today, I realized that I am dating a 25 year-old man-child. He turns 13 whenever he sees my boobs, complete with big eyes and saying "honk honk" whenever he touches them. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out the 28-year-old I am dating is actually 48. FML
Today, my boyfriend, who's a bit older than me, introduced me to his daughter. I was expecting a toddler. Nope, she's a year older than me. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, meeting his family for the first time. I was leaning against him when he reached around, grabbed my boobs, and started making "pew-pew" laser noises, all in front of his family. I can't believe I'm dating this child. FML
Today, a cute new guy I always run into at work hit on me. Turns out he's only 18. I'm old enough to be his mom. FML
Today, the boy that I met online six months ago and expressed my love to sent me a picture of himself and confessed how old he really was: thirteen. I'm eighteen years old and holding a steady job. FML
Today, I found out that my 20-year-old boyfriend won't touch my boobs because he is afraid his parents will find out. FML
Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14-year-old boy. FML
Today, I regret ever deciding to ask out a younger man. I’m 27 and he’s 21. I’m worried about my career, he’s worried about his Xbox; I love my parents, he’s still rebelling against his like an emo teenager; I want romance, he likes to wobble my breasts while giggling, saying, “Boobies.” FML
Today, my little brother grabbed my boobs and wouldn't let go until I pried his hands off. When I told my mom, her response was, "Get over it. He's a little kid who doesn't know any better." He's 14 years-old. FML
Today, after an argument, my boyfriend called me a fart knocker and gave me a wedgie. Apparently, I'm dating an 10-year-old. FML
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Top comments
Starfire22 5
Mostmen are man-children at heart, it never changes. Accept it and it will make life alot easier.
Sixpakastan 0
Gonna need to see said boobs before I can pass judgement.
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Comments (353)
dearambivalence 0
And this is out of the ordinary how?
Neferria 0
Haw haw. I do the same with my girlfriend. She just laughs and rolls her eyes at me.
transcedental 18
heheh ^^ Yeah, I laugh too ... and I find my boyfriend pretty sweet when he looks at them with his pretty big eyes and says "ooooh, i lovem-so-much *harr* mine!" .. awrrr ;D he'so cute ;D nothing wrong with that :]
Subtext 10
God, I did that when I've been with my ex girlfriend too. They just asked for it...
albertaboy 7
Mayn't this is about you o.O
turdburgers 0
This is pretty common.
phantomdonut 0
Just want to say, your username made me lol. :)
withered 30
Hahahahaha xD
bubblybrooke 12
um, age 14 almost 15 thank you very much. end of grade nine, not middle school. nice math, no wonder you hated middle school- you must have failed out.
myfriend_youfail 3
So.....you're proud of doing 14 year olds...WHY? Excuse me while I go suppress my gag reflex in absolute disgust. Keep it in your goddamn panties until you're old enough to maturely deal with what happens when protection fails. Or...good luck being a 15 year old mother with herpes! *****. :D
alexandraa_fml 0
She can set up a lemonade stand to support her bebiezz.
Starfire22 5
Ooo because at 14, almost 15 you're all grown up and can handle getting pregnaut and raising a child. Or, god forbid, getting a STD that stays with you your whole life.
BaBiiSpAnKy821 0
sorry cant spell **omg id love my life if i was you... sound effects liven everything up next time tell him to growl like a car motor... grr thats sexy
meanie_monday 0
Oh No! I should've had sex when I turned 14! I'm not cool like you e_e
ugh_a_lug 7
agree with 28 and 61
arienh4 0
Seriously, your body is ready at 11-12, and there are still cultures where it's perfectly normal at that age. It's at your personal discretion what you do.
wiserman 0
my personal discretion is urging me to beat some goddam sense into you. LOTS of people should never become parents at any age. Go find some M80's to play with.
boatkicker 5
arienh4 You are correct about it being fine in certain cultures to have children very young. However, in those cultures you have already gained the knowledge and life experiences necessary to raise your child. You are taught life skills from a younger age. I would assume that brooke is from a western european (or europeanized) culture. In that type of environment a 15 year old does not have the life experience necessary to raise the child. Depending on the culture they were raised, a 12 year old taught from an early age about raising children, would almost definitely be a better parent than a 15 year old raised in such a way that they never had contact with a child.
ohgeewizz 0
Exactly. My rule: you should at least be able to hold a steady, reasonable job and be able to drive a car before you should be allowed to explore your nether regions along with someone else. But in defense of humanity it's something like only 30% or less have lost their virginity under the age of 18. I was at my boyfriends place; there were probably 8 people (including us) in the room and we were all talking about sex. He and I (we have no filter... especially around each other haha) both lost it at 17, and we were the youngest of the bunch. So there's got to be some kiddy-****** to make up for all the reasonable people who wait until their balls drop/their boobs fill out/they don't get temper tantrums when mommy and daddy forget to give them their allowance for missing their 9pm curfew.
earthwulf 0
...you do know that some middle schools/junior high schools are grades 7-9, right?
deadkenn8 0
ahem, at fifteen, I spent around $150 total for the morning after pill after several protection breakings. I handled the possibility of my life going to hell, and did it gracefully. people are ready when they're ready, and slapping an age on it is a broad generalization. however, I'm going to completely contradict myself now by saying that, even though I had sex at thirteen, and it gave me self confidence and various other helpful traits for highschool, 12 and 13 year olds should never have sex,cause that's just plain gross.
musiquerobot 0
This isn't that abnormal. So long as he doesn't do it all the time, what's the big deal?
tdnur 2
every man is like 13 years old :)
GreenRupee 0
Come on, something stupid as that is that bad? Be happy that he likes what you have there :D
FPsLife 5
And one day you'll be complaining over someone not being all that interested in anything about you. Just no pleasin'
BaBiiSpAnKy821 0
LMFAO omg id love my liofe is i was u!!!! sound affects liven everything up... next time tell him to growl like an engine like grrrrr lmfao thts sexxii
equinoxe_fml 2
sorry.. accidental reply
equinoxe_fml 2
being ready to have sex does not equal being ready to be pregnant and raise a child, moron. it's called birth control.
KayleeFrye 39
Right, because everyone knows birth control NEVER fails! You have sex, you have to accept the possible consequences.
expen_dable 0
Ugh, saying "use birth control" is NOT saying "birth control ALWAYS works!" Good job putting words in her mouth with your useless comment. Using hormonal birth control right makes your chance of getting pregnant almost 0. People always have their "I have a friend who got pregnant on the pill" stories but if those stories are true, its usually because of a mistake the woman made (like not taking her pill at the right time or missing doses) and not because the birth control failed. Get the Nuvaring, shot, or IUD if you cant handle taking a pill everyday.