Today, while at my cosmetics job, an elderly lady came up to me asking for a product. I told her we had a smaller size and a larger size for a better deal. She told me she wanted the smaller size because she'd "probably be dead" before she finished that one. I laughed. She was serious. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I asked an elderly customer at my work if she needed help with her groceries. She responded, "I normally would, but I'm afraid you'll eat all the groceries." FML
Today, I was cashiering at a grocery store when an elderly woman came through my line buying prune juice. She then whispered to me that last time she bought it, she "blew up her toilet". FML
Today, at work, I cashed out a sweet old lady. As I handed her the bag, she looked at me kindly and said, "Don’t worry sweetie. It'll get better," to which I responded, "What will get better?" She smiled at me and said, "Your face." FML
Today, a customer at work was having hiccups, so I suggested she should try to hold her breath for a while. Ten minutes later, she's talking to my manager about how I wanted her to "kill herself because of her severe medical condition." FML
Today, at work, I misheard a customer telling me a story. To be polite, I did a slight laugh and nodded my head. She actually told me her mum had died. FML
Today, I was taking a customer's order when she said she'd better go for a salad, because she was getting fat. She was actually very slim, so I told her she wasn't fat at all. She took one look at me and snorted, "Yeah, not compared to you, that's for sure." FML
Today, at work, an elderly lady came up to the cash register with a flyer in her hand, and asked if we had a certain item. I told her we did not have any left, and we would be getting more next week and if she wanted, I could give her a rain check. She hit me in the face with her purse. FML
Today, a woman at the crowded mall stopped me and told me loudly that if I bought her product it would get rid of my acne. FML
Today, I got in line at the grocery store. The woman in front of me looked right at me, turned to her friend, and said "That reminds me, I forgot to get acne cream." FML
Today, at a supermarket entrance, a seemingly drunk old lady said, "Sir?" as I passed by. I just ignored her and walked in. When I walked out with my groceries fifteen minutes later, several people were standing around her, calling for an ambulance. She'd passed out on the ground. FML
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Top comments
emba_fml 13
oh Jesus, what a morbid old woman. S:
yoursucklives 36
i think everyone would have assumed that she was joking.
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Comments (74)
emba_fml 13
oh Jesus, what a morbid old woman. S:
skorka 5
The glass is half empty.
PrimeEvilTahir 24
Thats sad... Reading how weirdly old people react to things makes me worried about my own old age.
boating_guy 33
Hey, from what I see, that's a old woman whose still got a good head on her shoulders. She's thinking logically and already come to terms with her own fate after (I'd hope) living a happy and full life. When I'm that old, that's how I want to be for sure.
baddawg365 0
She's not morbid, she's not a pessimist, she's just a realist.
Ray_of_midnight 23
@#8 the glass is twice as large as it needs to be. :-)
In_some_bullshit 13
I love realist! That old woman is awesome and well sounds like gonna be me, when I get old! HA
Z03y 7
Halfaglass.jpg - Some say the glass is half full. Some say the glass is half empty. I say.... more room to add vodka! ;)
EyesofStone 27
Forget half empty. If she's that old the glass is probably more like 7/8 empty.
hbbs93 6
Maybe she just said it as an excuse to get the sales lady off her back.
stuner56 22
I would have too. It happens
Poopolicious 5
Shes saving money in a sense... She pays less for the smaller one =D
Dracoboxer357 36
14- Sure, because if she's correct, she's really going to be needing that money then, right? ;)
ucoolgirl31 20
25 - maybe she's saving money for her will.
Dracoboxer357 36
33- .....This is cosmetics we are talking about right? How much of a price difference could we be considering here? Less than $30 bucks I would imagine to upgrade from a small tub of moisturizer or base to a large.....? I mean, perhaps she does want to save the money or not be wasteful, I guess, but it just seems unnecessary to consider trying to save a few bucks of her own money if it'll make her happy. $20 bucks less of her inheritance, split who knows how many different ways shouldn't really matter. (Maybe I have the wrong idea. Are some cosmetics crazy pricey? As in, hundreds of dollars for paste and such?)
evilplatypus 39
39 - You obviously don't know how much cosmetics can go for. An 8oz jar of rejuvenator can go for over a hundred dollars. I think it was Coco Chanel (probably wrong there, though) who started marketing perfume that was expensive because woman want to buy the expensive stuff just because it's expensive (her words, not mine).
Dracoboxer357 36
71- 0.O Obviously I have much to learn about cosmetics! No wonder my last comment got negative thumbs, it appears am I quite ignorant in this topic! My apologies, and thanks for clarifying. :)
Mr40Hands 5
I don't think you really deserve it, you were just bing nice and accidentally made a mistake; not a huge deal. Though, I guess dearh is a very serious matter >_>
thejewishfuhrer 17
Bacon..... COD....
zachherbert 10
Boobs....Money....Boobs
bargarlm 2
That's depressing :| have her get the large one to symbolize how much longer you think she has till she dies....? idk
SqueakyChipmunk 22
"When this runs out, you die."
yoursucklives 36
i think everyone would have assumed that she was joking.
Il_Maestro 6
Not me. I would have made sure she died. *eye twitches creepily*
SqueakyChipmunk 22
This is why you don't use a death note for an essay. My sister learned that the hard way.
smilepatrol 7
I would've laughed. That's so awkward!
daydreamer244 13
Old ladies....gotta love em.
brytonk 8
Thats rude to make such an awkward situation, she's old and near her death but that doesnt mean she should do that.
DogsPaw 16
When I was younger I tried selling cookies to an elderly woman... She said "I don't have many years left to enjoy these cookies" then shut the door.
Il_Maestro 6
26- I was in the same boat! Except the old lady I spoke to replied "You're no ******* girl scout!" Bitch, you don't know that! I could just be really ******* butch!
chellyX92 8
29- she was bitter. Se was serious about the whole situation, what sense of hummor is that?
evilplatypus 39
53 - Or as many other people have said, she's realistic. I won't live to see pirates riding unicorns, but I'm not bitter about it. I just accept it for the truth and fact that it is.
perdix 31
Old people have a sense of humor about their imminent demise. You should have laughed and added, "I guess you shouldn't buy green bananas!" Then, ask her to leave you something in her will.
jizzwold 21
Yes. This is the proper course of action. Follow it exactly op.
Duuvve 13
Nice one #8, almost died laughing on the banana joke. Oh well, I guess studying makes me simple minded...
Ray_of_midnight 23
hahaha my mom used to use that line about buying green bananas when she hit her 60s. :-) Pity she's not here any more.
EyeCeYu 7
Well if she goes around talking about dieing all the time then she probably is used to diffrent reactions. I'm sure she wont spend much time being offendend if she is planning on dieing soon.