Today, I realized my anger management has hit a new low when I screamed at a goose for being a goose. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went for a "relaxing" walk on a local trail. I got chased by an angry goose halfway back to my car. Apparently, it didn’t appreciate my "peaceful" attempt to take a selfie with it. FML
Today, I decided to go for a jog to try and get fit. I definitely got my exercise in, because I was mercilessly chased by a goose. FML
Today, I thought I might need some anger-management classes, after I punched a hole in a kitchen cabinet when my dog wouldn't stop yapping every time the rooster my neighbors just got made a noise. FML
Today, I was reading on a park bench not far from a grassy spot and a pond. A flock of geese landed on the grassy patch and began to eat some grass. I thought that I may be bothering the geese, but decided if I left them alone, they'd leave me alone as well. I was wrong. Geese are assholes. FML
Today, we took the kids to the local pond near my sister-in-law's to feed the geese. I hadn't been there before, and thought I'd take a picture. I turned around to adjust my camera, but the geese, realizing the feast had ended, took flight. Before I could react I was showered with goose shit. FML
Today, I realized that I probably have anger issues. I came to this conclusion after I finished screaming abuse at the microwave for beeping before I could hit the off switch. FML
Today, while on a run, I thought I'd run into a flock of geese in a field. Doing so, I learned that when you do this alone, the birds don't fly away, they attack. FML
Today, I realized that my anger problems have gotten out of hand when I shouted, "Fuck you!" at my toaster. My mood swings and loneliness have also reached a new high, evidently, as my next actions were to apologize to the appliance and then continue talking to it. FML
Today, I was ambushed by a very angry beaver. FML
Today, after a stressful series of events, I went to the beach to unwind. I sat on the sand, breathed in deeply and closed my eyes, trying to find some sort of inner peace. Then a seagull shat on me. FML
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Top comments
johobus28 26
I can totally imagine that haha "**** YOU GOOSE WHY ARE YOU A GOOSE!"
sorryheadphones 26
*sits with pad and pen* "...and how does that make you feel?"
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Comments (57)
ghostBuster000 4
"Anger management": I do not think it means what you think it means.
AverageJoey 18
You have to be loose with the goose and let it do what it wants.
suruhhhhh 8
I'm really a duck type of person too...
RobinGoodfellow 47
In fairness, they're horrible creatures.
Sudoc 29
Better that screaming at a person for being a person.
Lexipants 21
You're not insane. Geese are terrible.
ThePols 11
To be fair, geese are huge pricks.
kalbrek009 20
Definitely have more issues than just "anger management"...please seek help, it'll do wonders for your outlook on life.
hordriss 14
I don't know why, but for some reason I found this hilarious.
SheepShoop_fml 20
Geese are evil, but that is an overreaction.