Today, after a stressful series of events, I went to the beach to unwind. I sat on the sand, breathed in deeply and closed my eyes, trying to find some sort of inner peace. Then a seagull shat on me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I overcame my debilitating seasickness long enough to have a shower and take a breath of fresh air on the cruise ship balcony. Then as a reward, a passing seagull shat on my head. FML
Today, my friends and I ran through a flock of resting seagulls. The birds took to the skies and chased after us, covering us in shit. FML
Today, I drove to the beach for an hour to relax before returning to the intense workload of midterms. A kid walking by threw a cracker near me and I was instantly attacked by a group of seagulls. FML
Today, I was out riding and a seagull pissed on me. It got in my mouth. FML
Today, after pulling an all-nighter, I fell asleep at the beach. My friends took the opportunity to bury me in the sand, place food all around me, and wait for a flock of hungry seagulls to attack me. To top it off, they taped it all. FML
Today, I found out the hard way what it feels like to have a seagull poo on your face while cycling. FML
Today, just when I thought my day couldn't get any worse, a bird shat on my lunch. FML
Today, at the beach, a seagull conveyed its opinion of my cigarette by taking a dump on it, putting it out. Seems they have anti-tobacco sniper seagulls now. FML
Today, I fell asleep while at the beach with friends. Someone thought it would be funny to put chunks of bread on and around my junk. Seagulls have sharp beaks. FML
Today, I went for a swim in the sea. It was early and I was the only one in the water. I swam out far, then my tummy rumbled big time. Next thing I knew, I'd shat my shorts. It went everywhere. I had to scoop the poop out with my hand and wash it off whilst swimming back to shore. I had to shower afterwards. FML
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Top comments
kings1fan 6
I hear it's good luck!
Streeet_hayley 6
At least you're on a beach and can clean it off..
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Comments (117)
kings1fan 6
I hear it's good luck!
HowAreYouToday 34
Yep. It's even better luck if an elephant shuts on you... Next stop, zoo!
sseberly 11
That's usually what I do to turn my luck around. Painting a bullseye on you body helps the bird's accuracy too
kcircuses2 4
2-what does the elephant shut? the window? the door?
IceeCreamm 7
Shit happens
dumple 0
Shut happens
opendoorclosed 8
Was it a normal seagull? Or a Steven Seagal?
vsat207 0
Yes, especially when hoping to get a disease it's the best luck!
liquidSELECT 0
21-made my day
btnhdude 0
'Shat' is getting annoying as ****. It's like a total trend.
False_Stupidity 42
#9 it shuts your mouth.
HowAreYouToday 34
XD I didnt even notice... I lolled
AtrumMessor 1
#48--As opposed to what? "Shitted"? It's not a trend, it's called grammar.
kcircuses2 4
hey 59 **** you
nalia18 8
Im sorry about saying this but this kinda sounds like a line in kung fu panda.... And yes i like kid movies... Im proud... No shame
Braginskyyy 6
I think I'd rather take a 4 leaf clover... :P
sexybeastsexybea 0
haha shat...that's a funny word..
Streeet_hayley 6
At least you're on a beach and can clean it off..
Eggers 2
my thoughts exactly (I like how you get down-voted for agreeing)
SirObvious 1
Sounds like you found some inner piss!
cmayo 3
Good seagull.
raphanne_fml 33
"Mine... mine ...mine, MINE"
ninjuh_wingman 29
Shit happens :)
haw008 14
I knew someone would say it
Notimetobleed 14
Next is "What a shitty situation."
slappygecko 21
*machete swing*
nick347b 6
Well, at least it wasn't Karma.
kcircuses2 4
well, at least that wasn't a terrible comment... oh wait...
nick347b 6
I don't see your perfect, god-inspired comment anywhere so gtfo.
kcircuses2 4
you're just not looking hard enough
luongo6 0
Okay imma just get this out of the way, well that's a shitty situation
kamikrazy 6
*facepalm*
ShroomsOnAcid 17
*facecheesegrater*
13FTW 9
I don't see why theres a crapload of these jokes. They all stink. Besides pun jokes are overrated..
thisisafunnyname 12
Yeah, these puns are pretty shitty.
bizarre_ftw 22
But at least they look good right? (points if you get this pun)
MrsRamey 1
lmfao!
darkmis1 18
Shat. He shat on you. Shit is the present form; shat is the past. I'm Not trying to be a grammar nazi. That really does suck, OP.
RavagedSouI 0
Shat is slang. Shit is actually like cut. In every tense, it remains the same,
darkmis1 18
Actually no, it's not. If you look at the FML, the mods actually changed it to shat.
btnhdude 0
Mkay.
fadingaway 17
No it's not. The past tense of shit is always shat. It's not slang and it's never shit. It's like sit or spit.
hannahcorrine 0
The beach has showers sometimes. Or the ocean. No big deal
TrouserPython 3
You should be thankful. The seagull was trying to help you integrate into the environment, to help you commune with nature, both of which are very stress-reducing. May seagulls shit on us all.
GVirdi 11
Sorry I had to laugh.. Its funny U shudve laid down so u cud see it coming and avoid it with ur ninjaness
MRSsquarepants 0
Please.. Learn how to write properly.
ImFrackinBored 13
Were you dropped on your head as a child?