Today, I posted in the family group chat, asking if there would be plant-based food options for the Memorial Day barbecue, since I am vegan. All they sent were laughing emojis. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my family dragged me to a steakhouse, knowing full well I'm vegan. I sat there, with my sad little salad, watching as they stuffed themselves with burned animal flesh and laughed at me. They wonder why I hate them all. FML
Today, a hot guy asked me to meet him at a barbecue restaurant. I reminded him that I was vegan. He replied, "Oh, my bad. Forget it then." and didn't respond to my desperate follow up texts. FML
Today, even though I told my son I had vegan burgers for him, he brought enough vegan food for everyone at a barbecue, and tried to get everyone to try it. Not one person ate a damn bit of it, and he’s now crying, all while blocking our drive with his car. FML
Today, my boss was hosting some client representatives for a meeting and had offered to buy everyone lunch. The "healthy" place he's ordering from made me sick last time, so I'd politely opted out. At lunch, the reps glared at me in the meeting room as I ate my homemade chili con carne. Turns out they're all vegans. FML
Today, I made a tasty, healthy plant-based lunch for my family. They ate a few bites, spat it out, and then went to McDonald's "to eat real food, you know, food with meat in it." FML
Today, after working all day to make a big vegan meal for my family, hoping it would get them to become vegans as well, my brother thought it appropriate to pass around a block of cheese for everyone to grate over the pasta dish. FML
Today, I realized I've become a stereotypical militant vegan when I told a friend that we should start raising Lone Star ticks and dropping them around town so we could spread meat allergies and force people to eat vegan. FML
Today, I made the mistake of telling my militant vegan coworker I have fond memories of hunting with my dad, which set her off like a tofu-powered grenade. If she doesn’t stop treating me like the devil, making snide comments, and other shit, I may have to go to HR about her. FML
Today, I had a friend tell me all about how being a vegan was so great. They were eating eggs. FML
Today, my daughter said she wanted to be vegetarian like me. Beaming with pride, I made her plant-based burgers for dinner. She took one bite, screamed, "EW!" and started crying and begging for beef burgers. FML
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Top comments
Nikki 17
I always assume I’ll be bringing my own plant based meats and I always let the host know
d j mom 9
never ask that of a group of carnivores. just keep quiet and bring your own plant based burger next time. (just saying it like it is)
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Comments (5)
Nikki 17
I always assume I’ll be bringing my own plant based meats and I always let the host know
Iamthebanzai22 21
You basically got the same response here.
d j mom 9
never ask that of a group of carnivores. just keep quiet and bring your own plant based burger next time. (just saying it like it is)
Yudith 28
But then, how wiil they know to let the vegan grill first? You cannot grill a vegan patty over a grill full of animal fat!
BurnInDemonFire 39
Use a separate, disposable BBQ?
Justkidding100 41
you have a right to dietary restrictions just like anyone else. even my meat grilling conservative father grills vegan for his vegan daughter. obviously they don't respect you
tiptoppc 21
To be fair, *I* don’t respect OP. Seriously, unless you have some kind of medical requirement to abstain from something (I don’t even give a crap about religious, as I’m atheist, and I don’t expect you to eat something you don’t want), but screw it, I’m not wasting my own money for the single asshole who drives a prius, does crossfit, requires people to create arbitrarily required food limitations just for them, when no one else has a want for it. OP, there’s some trees in the corner. Eat that. But, if you feel inclined to be an adult, bring your own dietary food, cook it yourself and stop enforcing your BS on others. And I’m a person who drives a gen 1 honda insight, loves impossible whoppers of the real ones and my work out is mowing the lawn, biking, etc… This attitude is what eventually drove a spike between what was a longtime good friend and myself. It just kept getting worse…
TeaTimeAbyss 22
I can see why your friend bailed, you sound insufferable
Hangryko 32
Skip the barbecue, those jerks obviously don't care about your dietary requirements. Try out a new vegan restaurant on your own that day.