Today, I was reading on a park bench not far from a grassy spot and a pond. A flock of geese landed on the grassy patch and began to eat some grass. I thought that I may be bothering the geese, but decided if I left them alone, they'd leave me alone as well. I was wrong. Geese are assholes. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, we took the kids to the local pond near my sister-in-law's to feed the geese. I hadn't been there before, and thought I'd take a picture. I turned around to adjust my camera, but the geese, realizing the feast had ended, took flight. Before I could react I was showered with goose shit. FML
Today, while on a run, I thought I'd run into a flock of geese in a field. Doing so, I learned that when you do this alone, the birds don't fly away, they attack. FML
Today, I went for a "relaxing" walk on a local trail. I got chased by an angry goose halfway back to my car. Apparently, it didn’t appreciate my "peaceful" attempt to take a selfie with it. FML
Today, I realized my anger management has hit a new low when I screamed at a goose for being a goose. FML
Today, while driving, I put on my hazards and slowed to a stop to let a family of geese cross the street. The pick-up truck behind me however, decided to change lanes and speed off, running over at least half of them. FML
Today, in order to try and get over my slight fear of swans, I went down to the local park to feed them. One decided that I looked tastier than the bread I was throwing and chased me around the feeding area while everybody laughed. FML
Today, I decided to go for a jog to try and get fit. I definitely got my exercise in, because I was mercilessly chased by a goose. FML
Today, I was walking through the park eating fries. There was an old woman feeding a few pigeons. They didn't seem too interested, so I threw some fries down as I walked by to try and help her out. About two minutes later, I heard screaming. A huge group of pigeons were attacking the old woman. FML
Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man. I gave him my sandwich, since he needed it more than me. Seconds later, he was attacked by a flock of birds. FML
Today, my friends and I ran through a flock of resting seagulls. The birds took to the skies and chased after us, covering us in shit. FML
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Top comments
ezrocks4u 29
Meanwhile, an elderly woman with a bag full of bread and geese shaped voodoo dolls was sitting in her car waiting for you to leave her favorite park bench.
chirstinap325 23
You were so trusting, why? Geese don't even need to be provoked they really are winged assholes.
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Comments (31)
chirstinap325 23
You were so trusting, why? Geese don't even need to be provoked they really are winged assholes.
Tripartita 45
Winged Assholes? Gotta go start a band with that name…
RpiesSPIES 27
At least Canadian Geese have the decency to apologize for their behavior.
zanathegirl 6
NOOOO THEY DONT, TRUST ME. I'm a Minnesotan, and live on the border. Canadian geese are more vicious than the American farm geese....
cootiequeen4444 11
Canadian Geese are everywhere. They plague where I live pretty much all year round and that's the DC area. Ain't even close to Canada. In any case, you are Forrest (i mean correct. wtf autocorrect) that Canadian Geese are unapologetic assholes. Unfortunately so are American Geese or wherever those white farm ones are from. I recall hating blueberry picking with my mom (or anyone) as a child because the Geese are terrible bullies. And was such a tiny child. I got separated from my mom once and ran I into the flock of Geese while looking for her and next thing I knew they were barreling towards me angrily honking. I literally thought I was gonna die. as there were so many Geese, each as big as me. I made it though. Don't remember how. At that point in the memory I just get engulfed in a wave of panic. I know now to give Geese their space. a lot of space at that. freaking feathered bastards :|
ohSNAPyall 27
Exhibit A: AFLAC!
moodyreallyrocks 27
Agreed! Lesson learned, be careful next time OP..
ezrocks4u 29
Meanwhile, an elderly woman with a bag full of bread and geese shaped voodoo dolls was sitting in her car waiting for you to leave her favorite park bench.
domolovesyoshi 33
That was amazing
cootiequeen4444 11
I keep up coming up with sinister stories on my head explaining the goose oodoo dolls. like the bread is just to fatten up the Geese in time for Xmas. I mean seriously, all those carbs! (*whispers* fois grais)
eli2000cowboy 5
yes they are.
TonierShadow 19
I was bit as a child by a goose when it decided my kiddie pool was his. What did this teach me? Geese are winged cucks.
cupcakebruh 21
I was bit by a geese twice as a kid. I'm no longer terrified of them, but I do like to keep my distance..
PikarooArtist 17
Yeah, geese are not friendly creatures OP! Always prepare yourself with a loud object that'll make those winged **** gobblers go away.
yerawizardlizzy 27
Oh yeah, geese are terrible. Last spring I had some constantly come after me and I couldn't figure out why. Then I discovered they were trying to nest in a garden I walked past every day. And sometimes geese would come after me for no reason. They suck.
rldostie 19
Fun fact: The Romans used geese as "guard dogs" for some of their treasuries. Why? Because they're flying assholes. (And because they'll sound an alarm no matter how much steak you try to throw at them).
Thegoofygoober 15
Birds of a feather attack op together
ShotaSammy 17
Toss some bread at them, they are nice after that hoping for more.
Sammeydw 22
Until you run out of bread to give them.. Then they turn into jerks looking for blood.