Today, I didn't mind paying a little bit extra for my manicure because I forgot how nice it was to have someone hold your hand. Even if it was an old Asian lady. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was getting a pedicure to cheer myself up. I've been so lonely, I got overly excited when someone sat next to me, because I got to pretend I had a friend. FML
Today, I decided to treat myself to a pedicure ahead of my cousin's wedding. The woman doing my nails asked if I wanted my toe hairs trimmed. I was so taken aback and embarrassed that I said yes. They charged me extra. FML
Today, the woman giving me a manicure found a booger under one of my fingernails. FML
Today, I was getting a pedicure, and they used some sort of scrubby thing that really tickled my feet. When I couldn't take it any more, I accidentally kicked the lady who was doing my nails in the face. FML
Today, I treated myself to a Thai massage. The masseuse was so aggressive and intense, she left me with injuries on my hands and back. I paid $60 for someone to hurt me. FML
Today, as I was getting my nails done at a salon, the owner pulled my head back against the chair in front of all the customers and began to tweeze my eyebrows. When I exclaimed that I didn't pay for that service, she replied, "I don't care. This needs done." FML
Today, we went for a foot massage. My wife found it incredibly relaxing; I just found it weird that a complete stranger seemed to be trying to give each of my toes its own handjob. Plus they used so much moisturiser that it made the inside of my shoes feel like squishy mud all day. FML
Today, I went to get my nails done for the first time in a while. I don't like to go that much because two of my toes are connected, and I'm very self-conscious about it. The man painting my toes started laughing when he saw them and called all the other employees over to look. FML
Today, I went to a different hairdresser than usual to get 5 inches off my hair and bangs. He ended up charging me half price, saying, "Don't worry, we all make mistakes." FML
Today, I was with a wedding party getting manicures. I absentmindedly used a freshly-painted nail to pick my nose and ended up with two beauticians scraping indestructible bright red gel varnish out of my left nostril with acetone soaked q-tips, while everyone sat waiting in complete silence. FML
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Top comments
young_weezy_fml 3
happy ending!
Since1998 20
Even jigsaw doesnt get that creepy.
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Comments (50)
young_weezy_fml 3
happy ending!
jarrettd 27
I wanna hold your haaaand i wanna hold your hand, and when i touch you i feel happy inside.
SmosherMe 6
15, your creepy profile picture makes this perfect...
Freethaawave 19
Were you getting a manicure at the Gorgeous Pretty Beauty Nail Salon from Miss Swan by any chance?
alphaskater09 9
Old Asian ladies are the best :) *licks his lips*
enormouselephant 15
If someone's not at least holding your hand, your hand must be very busy with a few other things..at least it will be pretty when you're flicking the bean!
JenkJenks 6
Just sit on one hand until it falls asleep, then hold your own hands and pretend it's somebody else's. It's called "the stranger".... On second thought, that may be for this flicking the bean issue as well.
ChenEighty 20
Well, aren't we assumptive today!
lonewolf621 17
Why so lonely girl?
brackaman 18
Hey, I can relate. Old Asian ladies are the best. They're so small and sexy I just wanna grab them and put my... Oh crap. Thinking out loud again...
isallwaysme 27
O.o Wh... What?
Since1998 20
Even jigsaw doesnt get that creepy.
brackaman 18
Well I guess I managed to achieve something today. Even if it is only grossing out a sadistic killer.
Silly_Lilly6969 23
This is one of the saddest things I've ever read on FML.
mcrepas 19
Go up one in the recents, that's one of the saddest ones.
DerrickJames 33
You must be new.
marlize 6
I have to agree :/
carry_on 19
This is so sad, get out and meet some new people! :-)
mcrepas 19
I'll hold your hand if you pay my plane ticket!
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Plane tickets are a little more han the cost of a manicure. Plus, grandmas and old ladies in general have really sort hands!
TourettesGuyFTW 26
*soft.
slappygecko 21
Soon....
hawright 13
Well whatever gets you by. Don't feel bad, own it. At least you aren't one of those people who constantly has to have a relationship.
Abbbiiieeeeeeeee 16
Yikes! I'm thinking loneliness at its worst... FYL, Op. Hopefully you'll find someone that you don't have to pay to hold your hand. Happy searching! ^^