RyanM
Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I realized how out of shape I am, when I couldn't finish masturbating because I ran out of breath. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Keep fit!
Today, my girlfriend and I were on the phone. She heard I was out of breath and asked me, "Are you okay?" I didn't have the heart to tell her that she'd caught me masturbating, and I'm so out of shape it sounded like I'd ran a marathon. FML
Jack Shart Jr.
United States
Today, I'm so out of shape that I got winded from getting out of bed. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Out of shape
Today, I’m now so unfit, I had to stop halfway through sex with my wife to catch my breath, and in the end we just gave up, as clearly neither of us was having an orgasm today. I don’t get it, I weigh exactly 11 stone and exercise regularly, but I have no stamina and shit lungs. I hate myself. FML
Anonymous
United States
Fresh and not Fit
Today, I ran out of breath while mowing the lawn. I was on a riding lawn mower. FML
Endrit Begolli
Albania
Take it easy
Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months. I was so out of shape that I couldn't even finish my warm-up. FML
Anonymous
Alpharetta, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Wanking to death
Today, I was rubbing one out in the shower. I guess I got a little too excited, because as I came close to climaxing, I had a serious asthma attack and had to wheeze for help. FML
Anonymous
Health is overrated
Today, trying to get into shape because I run out of breath after walking more than 30 minutes, I started to hit the gym. Too bad my legs didn’t want to cooperate and decided that it would cause limping-worthy pain for every step I took on the treadmill. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I went running for the first time in a few months. I had what I thought was an asthma attack. When I got home, I realized that it was not asthma, but instead I have gained so much weight that my running bra restricted my breathing. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Getting on
Today, I realized that I’m old, and that it’s been too long since I had sex or even masturbated. How did I notice? Because I tried to, and I found out I couldn’t comfortably spread my legs that far anymore. FML
Out of Shape
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
Egypt
Knackered and shattered
Today, I decided to start exercising. I almost passed out five minutes into the warm up, and couldn't even stand in the shower afterwards. I'm only 21. FML
Top comments
DJR_fml 2
did you know 5 out of 5 guys. **********.. :O
Raddaya 3
Sir, this is the funniest FML I have ever seen. Thank you for making my day. As a reward, I bless you that you will succesfully **********.
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Comments (219)
tarabelle 7
aww):
clarkey 0
get a girlfriend!
ItsaMeLuigi 6
Or a boyfriend? Whatever floats your boat.
iSitt 0
what are the chances that a girl will go out with op?
banana_buddy 6
Even if by some miracle a girl did go out with OP, she'd dump him after she finds out that he can't last 2 minutes in bed.
bariforlife 0
^lol
xtreamcheerin 4
haha so true...
Susieee_Q 9
Hahaha. Now OP can't get action even from him/herself!
ImaginaryFoe 1
Or he could get a Shake Weight and start off on the lowest setting.
xaustinisdead 0
win^
rpace35 0
I had an asthma attack once
actingbro 3
does anyone else think it's funny she said "aww" to a masterbating problem lol
Zakafein 0
lol he'd **** when she gets on top of him
TheTweaker 0
More cushion for da pushin
saipan 0
hey tarabelle you arr such a pretty looking girl so sad that i will never meet you.FML
tedharrison 0
Do u give sex lessons?
abes22 0
poor you :(
TheDrop 0
It took him THIS to realize that OP was fat? not the laughter if random strangers walking down the street? or not having any friends? or the ton if rolls under his stomach? OP deserves this
flotar 0
27-- just because that happens to you on a daily basis, it doesn't mean that it happens to op too.
MLuckyCapoeirist 6
I don't think that everybody laughs every time they see a fat guy. And some fat people I know have friends. We usually bury trolls.
Crlnprz 11
27 just because he's out of shape doesn't automatically mean hes overweight
chippa 24
What 74 said. I know some pretty skinny, in-shape looking people who run out of breath after walking up a small hill. I also know some large people who can go on a run for a good hour and be just fine.
YtotsDI 0
that doesn't happen in Canada we are awesome and don't insult fat people we embrace it
BrenmanOfCanada 0
Or at the very least we embrace them as far as our arms can reach around.
stewie9 0
except the ones in your class
CoonAndFriends 0
WTF? How does that work? -.-
Slayerfan408 6
exactly, he must be rrally fat to get tired.
BlackMoon_fml 9
#35 - It happens to me sometimes. Maybe op was just masturbating really quickly and THAT'S why he ran out of breath. It isn't because he is overweight.
bfflrhea 0
you can be out of shape nd be skinny..
nowIshallrise 0
77 - Yes, and this may sound stupid, but some people tend to hold their breath sometimes while jacking off too...
ben1122a 0
fatty fat fT.
Blackmail111 9
HAHAHA lemmie guess you're so fat your balls are made of big macs XD
Blackmail111 9
how is it not an insults he is so fat his balls are made of BIG MACS a compliment would be that he has balls of steel
Renesaga 8
It's a compliment because Big Macs are prestigious for being large. You just called OP's balls notably large.
NBS93 0
Not only large, but tasty. His balls are large AND they attract hungry women.
6sick6 4
Well I like it.. Continue amusing me, please :)
stacster 0
#83 ruined it with his creepy ass picture
I_Deserved_It 10
@34, I don't think prestigious is the word you're looking for... "notable" fits better here. And how 'bout saying that his balls are made of Chicken McNuggets?
Blackmail111 9
THEY ARE MADE OF BIG MACS NOT THE SIZE IM TALKING ABOUT MCDONALDS MAKES YOU FAT IM NOT TALKING ABOUT OP HAVING BIG DELICIOUS BALLS......learn grammer
DaleksAreEpic 0
Dude... you just spelled "grammar" wrong. YOU'RE one to talk.
bridawg 0
hahahahahahahahahaha blackmail just got burned and it's freaking hilarious
viedemerde3007 0
lol @5. u r an retard
Blackmail111 9
My iphone auto corrected it i did not spell it wrong my iphone is having malfunctions and i'm gunna guess 2 or 3 words have been misspelled
VampireKiller59 0
don't blame da iphone
mcintosh123 15
You're blaming your iPhone? lmfao this is like blaming your calculator because it says 1 + 1 = 3 hahahahahahah
SAM5000 0
lmao you are a major dumbass and yout combacks sound like an 8 year made them up
docscientist 10
Except it would never correct it to grammer unless he spelled it that way before.
Mr_awsome 0
hey maybe u all should suck on blackmails dick it was a funny joke god damn u guys r those type of people that look for things do wrong so u can go off about it becuz it gets u off ******* queers
stewie9 0
good one
CalebEatsZombies 2
Sir you never put a apostrophe between I'm at all
ben1122a 0
oops. in soviet russia, grammar nazi gets shot. so dont try to correct me or i keeeel you!
DJR_fml 2
did you know 5 out of 5 guys. **********.. :O
Blackmail111 9
did you know 5/5 people don't give a f___
EmoOrange 0
Agreed
Gomez_Vidal 0
it's actually 93%... not that I'm trying to start z argument or anything lol
ThatGuyYouDontKn 0
who researches these things? hahaha
Mauskau 36
I'm a nasty cow. Please hate me, because I enjoy insulting random strangers. I think I also have a blue waffle, but I'm too embarrassed to go to the doctor!
snoot 0
shut up your ugly too
zacharytk72 5
agree 95
eclecticstrings 0
unless 95 actually wrote that herself for whatever reason, the mods on this site effin rule n_____n
emodude44 0
He should do what I do. I'm ashamed of getting really out of shape. So I joined a gym and try to go 4 times a week. I'm gonna get a personal trainer and I'm eating much healthier now.
kyrarox 0
how can u have a blue waffle u look like ur 12 if u r and u have one then u need help or therapy!
jess6blondie9 3
ha, or they could try washing their ****** once in a while:)
WhiteFlagWarrior 2
DocBastard... Patient 95 needs you
outlawdope 0
5% can't get a erection and 2% are liars
BoldfaceMatteo 0
actually make that 4 out of 5
Froz3narr0w 0
Did you know Blackmail111 is a ******?
stewie9 0
did you know i dont give a shit
stewie9 0
110 AWESOME SMILEY FACE n_____n
ilmanator 7
dude that's offensive I majored in masturbation
sarabraun8 7
run more.
babbycheeeks 0
loser
outlawdope 0
run more? stupid
Emileerzz 1
or ********** more? :D
ash72393 0
aha sucks :)
Raddaya 3
Sir, this is the funniest FML I have ever seen. Thank you for making my day. As a reward, I bless you that you will succesfully **********.
gingerkid19 0
win