Today, I realized every time I go to take a poop, my 9 month old crawls into the bathroom and sobs at my feet. I now have to let my 9 month old sit on my lap while I shit, because I can't do it any other way. The end to all privacy has now come. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was under the impression that my kids would eventually grow out of wanting to watch me use the bathroom. Instead, my 7 year-old son attempted to pick the lock so he could watch me take a shit and make fun of me for it. FML
Today, I had explosive diarrhea. I got off the toilet to change my 3 year-old's poopy diaper. He was being stubborn, so I was going to go back to the toilet, which is when he laid down. I thought I could do it. I couldn't. He ran around diaperless as I ran back to the toilet with liquid shit running down my leg. FML
Today, I woke up to my two year old crawling in bed with me and saying, "I poop". Normally this would be ok, but this morning she decided she didn't need a diaper. FML
Today, I gave my 8-month-old a bath in the kitchen sink after dinner, like I always do. Today, she decided to poop in it. FML
Today, I locked the door to our only bathroom so my two year old wouldn't get in and make a mess. I crapped my pants while trying to unlock it with the key that rests on the frame. FML
Today, my toddler is starting to realize when she has a dirty diaper. How do I know? She walked up to me with a shit covered hand, saying "Poop Mommy! Poop!!" FML
Today, I got severe diarrhea in a public bathroom. I told my 6-year-old to stand directly outside the stall where I can see her shoes. She proceeded to inform everyone who came in that "Mommy has diarrhea." FML
Today, I was in a public restroom with my one-year old. I had no idea he could reach the lock until he opened the door and ran out. In my haste to catch him, I not only peed all over my pants that were still around my ankles, I faceplanted on the nasty, moist bathroom floor. FML
Today, I discovered that my 8-year old is not fully toilet trained when a turd fell out of his pants, shortly after introducing him to his new babysitter. FML
Today, my son took a nap quietly for the first time ever. As I went to wake him up, I realized why. A previously poop-filled diaper came flying at me when I opened the door. FML
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Top comments
arabianhorse1234 0
Close/lock the door maybe?
bittersweets 2
word. put it in a safe place and go shit alone. if you let your baby get what it wants every time you're going to have some hard years in front of you...
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Comments (226)
moityrr 0
OMG people, we are talking about a baby! I went through it too....and as someone else said, it doesn't last forever OP :) And you will look back on this and laugh.
moityrr 0
OMG people, we are talking about a baby! I went through it too....and as someone else said, it doesn't last forever OP :) And you will look back on this and laugh.
ashleytiffany 0
ummm lock the door duh. he can wait a few minutes.
TheNewGuy03 29
i think that, while you have to give a really young child *some* of the things that he/she wants, there has to be an upper limit. things like ******** and pissing should come with some measure of privacy, otherwise the child is going to learn that busting in on someone while they're doing their deed is perfectly okay. don't think that you're "depriving" your kid. |the kid|
jennniferlea 4
just wait until baby learns to talk. Then they will come to see what you're doing and then go announce it to the rest of your household and any visitors. muhahahaha!
TATOCAPA 3
That's stupid, you seriously can't make the kid wait for a few minutes? Not to mention that's incredibly gross.
Flounder 2
If you can't put him in his crib or a playpen he can't escape from and just deal with the crying for a little bit, then YDI. Just because he wants something doesn't mean he should get it every time.
sexyred13 0
my 9 month old does a lot of wierd things, thank goodness that's not one of them. serriously, out him/her in a play pin or some other toy. if he/she crys just let them until your done.
Freeze_fml 17
I'd say leave the baby in a crib, but I've managed to escape from a crib one time. Family stories are fun.
Freeze_fml 17
Hell no.
Freeze_fml 17
I guess I'm too late to properly answer your question.
Freeze_fml 17
Nope, I'm too late. Silent mode.
Freeze_fml 17
Too bad, you're not my type.
imbtrthanyou 0
Haha! Yeah, privacy is over, but only briefly. Separation anxiety is totally normal; it will only last a little while. There's nothing wrong with catering to her while she's in this stage, it will teach her that she can rely on you and help her to become comfortable being alone more quickly. Putting her in a pack 'n play wouldn't hurt either, but you have to do what you're comfortable with.