Today, I realized every time I go to take a poop, my 9 month old crawls into the bathroom and sobs at my feet. I now have to let my 9 month old sit on my lap while I shit, because I can't do it any other way. The end to all privacy has now come. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was under the impression that my kids would eventually grow out of wanting to watch me use the bathroom. Instead, my 7 year-old son attempted to pick the lock so he could watch me take a shit and make fun of me for it. FML
Today, I had explosive diarrhea. I got off the toilet to change my 3 year-old's poopy diaper. He was being stubborn, so I was going to go back to the toilet, which is when he laid down. I thought I could do it. I couldn't. He ran around diaperless as I ran back to the toilet with liquid shit running down my leg. FML
Today, I woke up to my two year old crawling in bed with me and saying, "I poop". Normally this would be ok, but this morning she decided she didn't need a diaper. FML
Today, I gave my 8-month-old a bath in the kitchen sink after dinner, like I always do. Today, she decided to poop in it. FML
Today, I locked the door to our only bathroom so my two year old wouldn't get in and make a mess. I crapped my pants while trying to unlock it with the key that rests on the frame. FML
Today, my toddler is starting to realize when she has a dirty diaper. How do I know? She walked up to me with a shit covered hand, saying "Poop Mommy! Poop!!" FML
Today, I got severe diarrhea in a public bathroom. I told my 6-year-old to stand directly outside the stall where I can see her shoes. She proceeded to inform everyone who came in that "Mommy has diarrhea." FML
Today, I was in a public restroom with my one-year old. I had no idea he could reach the lock until he opened the door and ran out. In my haste to catch him, I not only peed all over my pants that were still around my ankles, I faceplanted on the nasty, moist bathroom floor. FML
Today, I discovered that my 8-year old is not fully toilet trained when a turd fell out of his pants, shortly after introducing him to his new babysitter. FML
Today, my son took a nap quietly for the first time ever. As I went to wake him up, I realized why. A previously poop-filled diaper came flying at me when I opened the door. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
arabianhorse1234 0
Close/lock the door maybe?
bittersweets 2
word. put it in a safe place and go shit alone. if you let your baby get what it wants every time you're going to have some hard years in front of you...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (226)
mercedeslove 0
lock him in a room plain and simple.
jojoboo1 0
baby needs a brother or sister to keep him occupied so u can shit in peace. good luck with that.. : )
epr 0
LOL.
aback 5
Sobbing for what-? five minutes? isn't going to kill that child. Stick him in a playpen and hand him a toy.
Doubleyew1 0
Been there. DONE THAT! Except I'm the oldest sister. You should have more babies so they can watch each other :)
melissalala_fml 0
omg #22 what happend to your face. u okay?? D:
teekay624 0
welcome to parenthood. that's what happens. deal with it. those of you criticizing the situation obviously don't have children.
teekay624 0
it's not going to spoil the child. all children do this. it's normal behavior. this is a common age for separation anxiety and letting the baby cry it out doesn't quite work. they eventually grow out of it. and to top it off, the bathroom behavior is beneficial...as they actually begin to pick up on their own potty training through this. hey, they have to learn somehow. I'm a parent of two, my children aren't spoiled and my oldest (now 17 months) eventually grew out of it. but now he's also exhibiting interest in potty training and now heads right to the bathroom when he has a soiled diaper.
Youwantwhatnow 0
Cival conversation online! dear god its the end of the world. O.o
HeroOfMi 0
lmao 68
PhillyFox 0
My fiance's sister's kid didn't grow out of it yet. She's two years old now, and the second that her mom goes out of her sight, she starts screaming her head off for her.
spaniel 0
What happened to parenting? I was very well loved and looked after when I was a kid; but never once would my folks endured that kind of shit. You are the adult, they are the child; make sure everyone is clear on that. Unless you plan to let them run your life for the next 18-20 years.
xFaust_fml 12
Wtf? Of course you can do it some other ways! Close the door, let the baby in his park, DON'T PICK HIM UP?? I really don't get this fml.
2babygurl2 0
eww.
rguyver 0
welcome to parenthood