Today, I realized every time I go to take a poop, my 9 month old crawls into the bathroom and sobs at my feet. I now have to let my 9 month old sit on my lap while I shit, because I can't do it any other way. The end to all privacy has now come. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was under the impression that my kids would eventually grow out of wanting to watch me use the bathroom. Instead, my 7 year-old son attempted to pick the lock so he could watch me take a shit and make fun of me for it. FML
Today, I had explosive diarrhea. I got off the toilet to change my 3 year-old's poopy diaper. He was being stubborn, so I was going to go back to the toilet, which is when he laid down. I thought I could do it. I couldn't. He ran around diaperless as I ran back to the toilet with liquid shit running down my leg. FML
Today, I woke up to my two year old crawling in bed with me and saying, "I poop". Normally this would be ok, but this morning she decided she didn't need a diaper. FML
Today, I gave my 8-month-old a bath in the kitchen sink after dinner, like I always do. Today, she decided to poop in it. FML
Today, I locked the door to our only bathroom so my two year old wouldn't get in and make a mess. I crapped my pants while trying to unlock it with the key that rests on the frame. FML
Today, my toddler is starting to realize when she has a dirty diaper. How do I know? She walked up to me with a shit covered hand, saying "Poop Mommy! Poop!!" FML
Today, I got severe diarrhea in a public bathroom. I told my 6-year-old to stand directly outside the stall where I can see her shoes. She proceeded to inform everyone who came in that "Mommy has diarrhea." FML
Today, I was in a public restroom with my one-year old. I had no idea he could reach the lock until he opened the door and ran out. In my haste to catch him, I not only peed all over my pants that were still around my ankles, I faceplanted on the nasty, moist bathroom floor. FML
Today, I discovered that my 8-year old is not fully toilet trained when a turd fell out of his pants, shortly after introducing him to his new babysitter. FML
Today, my son took a nap quietly for the first time ever. As I went to wake him up, I realized why. A previously poop-filled diaper came flying at me when I opened the door. FML
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Top comments
arabianhorse1234 0
Close/lock the door maybe?
bittersweets 2
word. put it in a safe place and go shit alone. if you let your baby get what it wants every time you're going to have some hard years in front of you...
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Comments (226)
leihei 0
You can't let the kid cry for the 2 minutes it takes to use the bathroom? Your life does suck, but not for the reason you think.
Rtard94 0
what im wondering is why r u taking a dump with the door open and just leaving your baby out alone
morgan020 0
what's privacy again? I haven't experienced that in so long I think I've forgotten. my 2 year old will only use the potty if my husband or I do and even if he refuses to use the potty. he wants to be in there to wash his hands or push the lever on the toilet. oh and closing the door only works for so long.
zebraflow 0
#67- not all babies aree da same...
oliviap97 3
ewww it's weird and cute???:)
dem_mad 0
ughh that's just creepy ..
sarahangela 0
cute but clingy , bringing the baby in is only going to ensure wicked seperation issues ! a nine month old is old enough that they should not be held every second ! I would stop now or your going to be in for some tantrums soon !!!
mistyshaiah 3
A lot of babies go through this. Mine did and she outgrew it. If you are the only one there, put the baby in the crib or let them in the bathroom with you, You should NEVER leave a child unattended in a swing or anything like that (babies have died that way, thus the warning labels). Not allowing your child to scream and cry does not guarantee separation issues. There's more to it than that. That being said, this isn't exactly an FML, nor did the OP deserve it. Welcome to having kids.
Erindub 0
Its shit like this which prevents me from procreating
fringle 0
YDI for caring about your privacy more than your own child.