Today, I worked up the courage at lunch to sit next to the girl I've been in love with for 3 years. Everything was going great. That is, until I sneezed and my retainer shot out my mouth, and landed in her lap. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was on a date with a girl and everything was going great. As I took her back to her house and walked her to her door, I leaned in for a kiss. She seemed to really enjoy it, so I went for another but as I leaned in again, I sneezed uncontrollably, shooting her face with saliva and snot. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. It was going well until our braces got caught. Out of pain, I tried to pull away, which made my eyes water. Then I sneezed in his mouth. FML
Today, I was sitting with my crush at lunch. Trying to flirt, I tried to stare seductively into his eyes while sucking on my straw. I missed. The straw shot straight up my nose, causing me the worst nose bleed of my life. FML
Today, the dentist sneezed in my mouth. FML
Today, I had to sneeze really bad in a restaurant. To avoid sneezing on everybody's food, I turned my head to the side and sneezed, it just so happens a waitress was there serving a table. My nose went straight into her ass. FML
Today, I was kissing my crush for the first time and her tooth fell out into my mouth. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend, and ended up sitting next to this girl who wouldn't stop sneezing. Grossed out, I asked my boyfriend if we could switch seats. After doing so, the girl immediately stopped sneezing and started flirting with him. FML
Today, I was making out with a girl who I've had a crush on for a while now. It was all going fine until one of my teeth decided to dislodge itself. She promptly spat out the tooth and left. FML
Today, while at work, a sneeze snuck up on me. Ever sneeze so violently your fake tooth shoots into the cubicle across from you? FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to the movies. She's pretty conservative and I decided after four dates to give her her first ever kiss. As I leaned in she violently sneezed and hit me in the nose with the hand she brought up to cover her face. I broke my nose and got blood down her cleavage. FML
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Top comments
whoknowsme 0
Chances are buddy you don't /love/ her. You're young, it sucks, but it's okay :) There will be new girls, better girls and besides if this girl is soooo off put by this retainer thing. She isn't right for you.
tincans 0
wtf kind of sneeze is that? and if you wouldve covered your mouth, your retainer wouldve stayed in place.
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Comments (101)
purple_gurl 1
eww that's gross and embarrasing
beetman5 4
how did she react?
Kassandra2011 0
Are you like in the sixth grade?
purple_gurl 1
#7 lol.(:
ArtOfDesire 7
I agree with #7, you can't "love" someone until you get to know them.
fairyfay 0
ydi fr ACTUALLY wearing your retainer. and it was a lunch? aren't you suppose to take it out then!? ._. at least that's what my ortho said.. and also ydi for being in "love"
MissRachieee 3
F HER Life.
locklock 0
she is a very lucky woman
hollyberry246 0
lol! no big deal. at least you didn't sneeze ON them. I would have thought that was more gross.
robnunzi 0
that's what u get for putting pussy on a pedestal
cparrenas 3
ummm. why didn't you cover yourself when you sneezed?
Mr_Zachary 0
17: coming from you? 21: put those away lol
comatoast 0
well, at least part of your mouth got to be between her legs, even if it was only one time :/
My2864 1
ikr people confuse having feelings woth love like everyone does that and i ******* hate that
umhayy 0
you can't be in love with her you could REALLY like her but not love... ew retainers... those things are nasty my brother has one
raymel 5
oh well if she rlly loved u back she wouldn't care
CoolAsian 0
wouldn't she think your a creep cuz you never talked to her AND she doesn't even know you? anyways retainers, THEY SUCK!
kellanlvr 1
lmao oh man it's ok I hate my retainers too they make you dribble all over the place not fun
sannabuke 1
it's impossible for you to be eating with a retainer, and also they are perfict fit and pretty much unable to fly out of your mouth cause they are fitted not only infront but behind your teeth as well. this is a lie, I can't stand it when ppl make up stuff in fml
heyred 11
If you're going to sneeze, cover your mouth. Problem solved.
teresa_009 0
it might be gross and embarrassing but it's hilarious at the same time. what a great ice breaker, you should have just laughed it off. I would have :L
venusvsmars 2
shouldn't you sneeze away from her? bad enough you didn't cover your face, but also sneezed towards her. YDI.
blue_eyes4602 0
you could have a crush on this girl, but how can you be in love with you if you don't really know her. you just worked up the courage to sit next to her at lunch. this isn't love.
iToone01 0
YDI for eating with a retainer. And sneezing towards her. Cover your mouth maybe too..?
NzxtZ06 0
why the hell does shit like this alwas happen to the OP at the very moment they decide to do something like sit or talk to the person they think they love? sounds a little fishy to me.
7mood75 7
at least the retainer didn't fly into her mouth.
loraaageexo 0
#50 is mad pretty [;
raininsnow 0
wow... stop hating on him. ur the one that looks like chewbacca...
stedfastwolf 11
shutup I know somobody in college that's has braces and I'm a junior in high school and I need a retainer I could probably get it fixed right now but I'm not because my teeth need to grow in natrually there's nothing you can do about teeth growing bad if it's runs in your family like mine
jjpavo 0
**** YOUR LIFE
EduardoCollazo1 0
hey you still have a shot to get her so go out there tiger or little school kid
puggfuggly 0
I agree with 78 it's fake 1 you don't eat with a retainer in 2 you don't sneeze at the chick your in "love" with 3 your not in love with someone for 3 years and you've never even sat beside them 4 retainers cannot fly out of your mouth they are fitted tight so they can hold your teeth in place and some youn even tighten everyday. even if it was loose you don't sneeze with your mouth wide open which would be necesary for the retainer to fly out.
fmlsoobad 0
21 - dammmm u hot so many hot peeple on fml WTF
greatsarcazm 0
wait u love her for 3 years, and you never even talked to her? can I slap you?
nunnie 0
lol
Fodace 4
maybe if you covered your ******* mouth that wouldn't have happened!!!
andrewjt 3
hey, you are very beutiful, what's your secret? ;)
intrcptin46 0
maybe try not sneezing AT her? hahah
jizzlejoe 0
yeah you got that right lol
daaaniel 0
Today, this creep i've never met before sits next to me and sneezes his retainer onto my lap. FML
phuckyew 0
cover you mouth, dumbass
xoconnie 8
woah woah woah. hold up, how can you be in love with her for 3 years if u werent even bf and gf. calm down and get to know the person first. jeeeez weirdo
jokermaster021 1
hey u look cute email me lol [email protected]
quadracer111 0
holy ******* *******!!!!! can we tittyfuck please??
yeamate 0
Get a ******* grip mate how can you "love" someone if you haven't even sat next to her before.
khadijah32594 3
thats nasty. did you apologize for it
jpest17 5
stfu 6 somepeoples parents don't care about their kids or can't afire it!!!!
jenknee1989 0
errr cover your mouth??
JNiunin 0
Aggreed
sosoinlove09 0
oookay... it's not THAT bad. at least not to me. better luck next time
mandiexile 0
I agree. More embarrassing things have happened in front of girls.
whoknowsme 0
Chances are buddy you don't /love/ her. You're young, it sucks, but it's okay :) There will be new girls, better girls and besides if this girl is soooo off put by this retainer thing. She isn't right for you.
sosoinlove09 0
True, true lol
aardvarkish 17
That's even sexier than the girl dropping her handkerchief.
xFalftastic 1
If you loved her, y'all would have sat together by now...
ninjaaaaa_fml 0
well it's ok I guess u could of puked
iamchuck 0
Little boys, quit being scared of pussy. It dousnt bite, it isn't sacred, and if one isn't available to you, then look to the next nearest. It probably will be. Be a pussy master, not pussy whipped.
robnunzi 0
amen
mcal2013 0
absolute win
umhayy 0
hahah<33
ILoveMyXbox 0
ily
Dezzi4Life 0
LMFAO XD!!!!!
tincans 0
wtf kind of sneeze is that? and if you wouldve covered your mouth, your retainer wouldve stayed in place.
idude1 0
agree
seahorses4eva 4
Uh, cover your mouth. Where are your manners? Did you just think it was ok...to sneeze in her face?
nerdsgetmehot 23
You've been in love with a girl for 3 years and only just now decided to do something about it?
idude1 0
lol