Today, I realized every time I go to take a poop, my 9 month old crawls into the bathroom and sobs at my feet. I now have to let my 9 month old sit on my lap while I shit, because I can't do it any other way. The end to all privacy has now come. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was under the impression that my kids would eventually grow out of wanting to watch me use the bathroom. Instead, my 7 year-old son attempted to pick the lock so he could watch me take a shit and make fun of me for it. FML
Today, I had explosive diarrhea. I got off the toilet to change my 3 year-old's poopy diaper. He was being stubborn, so I was going to go back to the toilet, which is when he laid down. I thought I could do it. I couldn't. He ran around diaperless as I ran back to the toilet with liquid shit running down my leg. FML
Today, I woke up to my two year old crawling in bed with me and saying, "I poop". Normally this would be ok, but this morning she decided she didn't need a diaper. FML
Today, I gave my 8-month-old a bath in the kitchen sink after dinner, like I always do. Today, she decided to poop in it. FML
Today, I locked the door to our only bathroom so my two year old wouldn't get in and make a mess. I crapped my pants while trying to unlock it with the key that rests on the frame. FML
Today, my toddler is starting to realize when she has a dirty diaper. How do I know? She walked up to me with a shit covered hand, saying "Poop Mommy! Poop!!" FML
Today, I got severe diarrhea in a public bathroom. I told my 6-year-old to stand directly outside the stall where I can see her shoes. She proceeded to inform everyone who came in that "Mommy has diarrhea." FML
Today, I was in a public restroom with my one-year old. I had no idea he could reach the lock until he opened the door and ran out. In my haste to catch him, I not only peed all over my pants that were still around my ankles, I faceplanted on the nasty, moist bathroom floor. FML
Today, I discovered that my 8-year old is not fully toilet trained when a turd fell out of his pants, shortly after introducing him to his new babysitter. FML
Today, my son took a nap quietly for the first time ever. As I went to wake him up, I realized why. A previously poop-filled diaper came flying at me when I opened the door. FML
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Top comments
arabianhorse1234 0
Close/lock the door maybe?
bittersweets 2
word. put it in a safe place and go shit alone. if you let your baby get what it wants every time you're going to have some hard years in front of you...
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Comments (226)
dynky 3
lock the door?
letitbe56 0
Your baby is plenty old enough to tough it out for the time it takes you to poop. At this point you're just spoiling him, so YDI.
TheWicked 4
haha, cracked me up! Stop spoiling him/her though.
Lisa89 3
Umm.. close the door?? Geeze... way to work that one out. And your baby is hardly going to drop down dead if you don't tend to it for 5 mins.
theredone30 2
Why is a nine month old on their own crawling around the house? Sounds a bit like bad parenting. Put the child in a playpen or their crib.
reddwarf_fml 0
a lil discipline before it's too late. that's why they make cribs swings playpens ....duct tape. just saying
clockworkgirl21 8
What is everyone's problem? When you become a parent, yes, you give up privacy, but that doesn't mean you can't have 5 minutes to yourself to shit. I'd be just locking the door and letting the kid scream outside.
s8n666 0
hey you only shut the kid out nine months ago, it is just lonely for home.
fishycanswim 0
I don't think swearing is a very good example for your child.
PhillyFox 0
YDI for giving into your child. It's time to start cutting the umbilical cord. A friend of mine had the same issues with her first child. She indulged in it, too. But contrary to what a lot of people on here are saying, she didn't grow out of it. She's a toddler now and screams her head off whenever her mom leaves her sight for 5 seconds. If you put your kid in their crib for two minutes while you go take a shit, it's not going to kill them. Sure they might scream the entire time, but they'll learn. Even parents deserve to go to the bathroom in private.