Today, my dad asked me how I would feel about going on an all-expenses-paid, month-long holiday to the Caribbean. I was ecstatic and broke into tears of joy, saying I'd love it. He replied, "Yeah, me too. Shame it ain't happening!" then left for work, laughing his arse off. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad told me he's taking the whole family to Disney World, even my step-brother's girlfriend. But not me, because he can't "afford" it. FML
Today, I excitedly told my parents I was going to India for an exotic vacation in two months. My dad responded with a "DO NOT REDEEM THE VACATION!" reaction in a racist voice while laughing. My mom snorted and fake-chastised him while also laughing. FML
Today, I called my dad to ask why my university tuition had not been paid. He said that my school was "too expensive" and he "couldn't afford it." He then asked me if I would take in his mail while he was away. He was taking his new wife to Hawaii; apparently it's beautiful this time of year. FML
Today, my boss took back my week off because he wants to take a spontaneous Caribbean vacation with his wife, which is "clearly more important" than what I was going to do. I needed that time off so I could be with my Dad in hospice. FML
Today, while working security at a welfare office, I had to listen as a claimant gushed about her upcoming Caribbean cruise. I work two jobs and haven't had a vacation since 2006. FML
Today, my dad and his girlfriend left for a 10-day vacation. They booked an expensive beach-house. I'm an A grade student and just last month, he stopped paying my school fees because he 'couldn't afford it.' Oh, and he's making me feed the dog while he's away. FML
Today, I got back home from work and casually asked my dad, "What's up?" He casually replied, "Wishing I'd had a son instead." and stared glassy-eyed at me until I left the room. FML
Today, after working another double shift because I want to buy my boyfriend a really expensive anniversary present, I get to his apartment to find him calculating in how many paychecks he'll be able to afford a Caribbean getaway. For himself. FML
Today, my teacher announced that he'd be out for a week because he was going to Vegas. I happily said, "Woo hoo!" Then he finished his sentence by telling me it was because his dad had died. FML
Today, I called my dad to inform him I was coming home from college for the weekend. Expecting him to be excited, he responded with "why?" This weekend was my birthday. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
dawood_k 27
And that's why you love him even more...
euphoricness 28
How can he when he hasn't been on vacation since six?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (86)
CryoShock 14
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Gee, what a douche.
dabears1011234 27
Nope
Saub 19
Do you call your dad a douche when he tries to have fun?
DanCastellaneta 17
You tried for first comment. It didn't work.
dawood_k 27
And that's why you love him even more...
Aero_x 21
oh daaaamn. He got you good!
person961 9
Haha don't worry, I haven't been on a vacation since I was six, I'm eighteen now.
MathildeDamm 17
k
jkmartinjk 16
Tell that to the starving children all over the world.
euphoricness 28
How can he when he hasn't been on vacation since six?
MortenM 17
Write it on some kind of internationally connected service? If only there was one
hopsinlove17 26
A text message....
R3TROxLOV3 32
Yes, because the children living in impoverished countries can totally afford to pay for cell service and/or internet, which is definitely more important than, oh I don't know, food. Oh, wait...
rmoss78 10
Haha that's what a dad is for. They'll play jokes on you
that_geibel_girl 15
Well that wasn't very nice, lol
JRT98 12
You have an amazing father, oh the glory.
shudson186 17
That is pretty cruel. I feel that pain though OP my dad did terrible jokes like that too.
TakDatWitU 9
Who the hell does shit like that is real messed up.
thevelociraptor 31
It was just a joke... :c
ImAFaker 29
Everyone keeps saying "that's mean" but it really isn't that mean. I think OP overreacted a bit when she broke out in tears and I think that you need to harden up if that was "cruel".
sunnyray812 42
At least he can joke around.
dabears1011234 27
It still sucks though