Today, I realized every time I go to take a poop, my 9 month old crawls into the bathroom and sobs at my feet. I now have to let my 9 month old sit on my lap while I shit, because I can't do it any other way. The end to all privacy has now come. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was under the impression that my kids would eventually grow out of wanting to watch me use the bathroom. Instead, my 7 year-old son attempted to pick the lock so he could watch me take a shit and make fun of me for it. FML
Today, I had explosive diarrhea. I got off the toilet to change my 3 year-old's poopy diaper. He was being stubborn, so I was going to go back to the toilet, which is when he laid down. I thought I could do it. I couldn't. He ran around diaperless as I ran back to the toilet with liquid shit running down my leg. FML
Today, I woke up to my two year old crawling in bed with me and saying, "I poop". Normally this would be ok, but this morning she decided she didn't need a diaper. FML
Today, I gave my 8-month-old a bath in the kitchen sink after dinner, like I always do. Today, she decided to poop in it. FML
Today, I locked the door to our only bathroom so my two year old wouldn't get in and make a mess. I crapped my pants while trying to unlock it with the key that rests on the frame. FML
Today, my toddler is starting to realize when she has a dirty diaper. How do I know? She walked up to me with a shit covered hand, saying "Poop Mommy! Poop!!" FML
Today, I got severe diarrhea in a public bathroom. I told my 6-year-old to stand directly outside the stall where I can see her shoes. She proceeded to inform everyone who came in that "Mommy has diarrhea." FML
Today, I was in a public restroom with my one-year old. I had no idea he could reach the lock until he opened the door and ran out. In my haste to catch him, I not only peed all over my pants that were still around my ankles, I faceplanted on the nasty, moist bathroom floor. FML
Today, I discovered that my 8-year old is not fully toilet trained when a turd fell out of his pants, shortly after introducing him to his new babysitter. FML
Today, my son took a nap quietly for the first time ever. As I went to wake him up, I realized why. A previously poop-filled diaper came flying at me when I opened the door. FML
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Top comments
arabianhorse1234 0
Close/lock the door maybe?
bittersweets 2
word. put it in a safe place and go shit alone. if you let your baby get what it wants every time you're going to have some hard years in front of you...
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Comments (226)
pink_lady5 0
For all the people who say a playpen is horrible: So your telling me you've never left a kid alone for a few mins to go to the bathroom? Whether it was in a playpen or in a living room that had baby gates?? As for Op, leave the baby out of the bathroom. It's just a little weird to have the little one on your lap.
Faeriekiller 0
It might sound weird but I have a story of kinda this content: My friend's mother had her sister over and this sister had a toddler of like the same age as the OP's. The baby's mother went out and my friend's mother watched the baby. As soon as the real mother was gone the kid started screaming his head off. After like one hour his aunt had made him calm down and they played. Then she went to the bathroom. The toddler followed and screamed again (it was not like crying with tears, it was just like shouting a lot) but she did not care and locked the door. The baby kept screaming for the five mins she was in there. My friend's mom was bothered. She told my friend to secretly mind the baby and locked herself in the bathroom soon again. The child screamt and screamt but she did not care. She really stayed in there for twenty minutes until he was too exhausted to scream. When she opened the door they continued playing. Some time later she went to the bathroom the third time to check if he had gotten the "lesson". He started screaming but stopped after five minutes. Is this neglecting now or abuse?
driverhome 3
lol I do the same with my 10 month old!
cnbarnette 0
welcome to parenthood. no more privacy what so ever. :0)
0opsie 6
That's why bathrooms have doors.
texansdiva 0
been there. i finally wised up, put him in the play pen and let him cry it out. he survived. ;)
SAMHAlN 0
don't get a boner
fnyunj 3
jesus christ! can you say DRAMA QUEEN? In one month your kid will be 10 months old. How about that? She wasn't even crawling 6 months ago. In a few years, you're going to be wishing she still wanted to spend any time with you anymore. End of privacy? Jesus, nothing lasts forever.
yourbarbiiedoll 0
lmaoo, my cat cries at the door when I shower -_- .. and why would you leave the door open?
lonerftl 3
Hey good news they have invented a little something call a 'door' try to get one while they last.
driverhome 3
your an idiot u can't close a door with a baby
lonerftl 3
Nope, your the idiot. You can close a door to a baby but your not supposed to.