Today, I got severe diarrhea in a public bathroom. I told my 6-year-old to stand directly outside the stall where I can see her shoes. She proceeded to inform everyone who came in that "Mommy has diarrhea." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Amplified
Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML
Today, I got diarrhea while on a trip with my daughters. At our third stop, I had to sit in the stall listening to my 5 year-old informing everyone who came in that "mommy is stopping at EVERY bathroom to poop." FML
Kids Say the Darndest Things
Today, I went grocery shopping with my 4-year-old after having some major bathroom issues. As I walked over to get bananas, she yelled out in the middle of the produce section, "DO YOU STILL HAVE DIARRHEA MOMMY?!" FML
Express yourself
Today, my toddler started chirping, "Mommy’s on the toilet!" while I was in a public restroom at our local mall. She also knocked on the stall door to make sure everyone was made aware of our exact location. FML
Today, I had diarrhea in a public bathroom. When I was finished, I noticed that someone had pissed all over the toilet paper. FML
Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML
Classy
Today, I was standing outside a store about to flirt with this guy when my mother drove up and shouted, "Hurry up, I have diarrhea!" FML
Leaked
Today, I tried to let out a small fart in a crowded restaurant. I had diarrhea. I walked past several families to get to the bathroom and clean myself up, only to still go home with a huge wet spot down my ass. My shirt wasn't long enough to hide it. FML
Narcissistic parents
Today, my mom told an entire room full of people about the time I almost died from severe diarrhea as a toddler. When I told her that it was embarrassing, she simply told me to “grow up”. FML
Oh, hai Mark!
Today, I had to listen to my daughter’s explosive diarrhea while I watched TV. When she came out of the bathroom, she went white as a sheet. Apparently she thought she was alone. FML
Top comments
ChromoTec 24
Kids are a gift from God, but the spawn of Satan.
whiskey'swino 15
To be fair- if the tike didn't announce it the smell and sound would have announced yourself.
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Comments (11)
ChromoTec 24
Kids are a gift from God, but the spawn of Satan.
EmDizzle2007 28
I knew he liked practical jokes.
Dave_Davington 34
Honestly, for forcing her to stand in the smell zone, you deserve so much worse than that.
wysegirl 24
With how things are now days I would have done the same to know my child is safe.
RichardPencil 32
At least you’re not raising a liar. Your child has no future in politics. That should come as more a relief than a massive dump.
NostalgiaFreak9 43
Honestly, I had to put YDI for failing to teach her on not talking to strangers.
whiskey'swino 15
To be fair- if the tike didn't announce it the smell and sound would have announced yourself.
EarthsMightiestHeroes 20
Where will YOU(r kid) be when diarrhea strikes?
wysegirl 24
On a good note she stayed by the door and nod didn't run off..
acmariner99 25
Kids have no filter... none.
Glowworm56 27
She was just helpfully telling everyone that you would be in there for a while--in typical 6 year old style.