Today, it's the third day of my dad's revenge after he snapped over me supposedly using the word "duh" in every other sentence. He got his hands on my old recorder and has been playing it loudly and out of tune outside my room when I try to do my homework. My mom thinks this is hilarious. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad had fun embarrassing me as much as possible in my parent-teacher conference by moaning whenever the teacher talked. FML
Today, I came home from school to find almost every single personal possession and piece of furniture from my bedroom all laid out or disassembled in the back yard. My dad smugly told me I'd better start moving it all back. This is his revenge for me salting his coffee this morning. FML
Today, it's the third week of my dad's midlife crisis. So far he's blown half my college fund pimping out his piece of shit car, keeps texting me meme pictures, and keeps yelling "Savage!" and "Recked!" any time my mom makes a joke at anyone's expense. FML
Today, I played a friendly prank on my dad, loosening the legs of his chair so it would fall apart when he sat on it. He responded by making me stand outside and watch as he keyed both sides of my car, front to back, as punishment. FML
Today, my dad made a big show of sending me to my room and grounding me for a week. Not because he heard me cursing at my video game, but because I "swear like a little girl" and it embarrassed him in front of his friends. FML
Today, I was woken up to my mom playing the piano awfully. I screamed down the stairs "you suck, stop playing!" Turns out it was my 5 year old cousin playing a recital. For my entire family. FML
Today, my dad forced me to take part in a pathetic act of revenge against our neighbors, who keep parking their 4x4 in front of our house. He made me stand watch while he kept trying to slash their tires. An hour later, we were waiting for my mom to bail us out of jail. FML
Today, my dad is still mad because I tossed his empty coffee can over 3 days ago. FML
Today, my dad came up into my room and told me that as a consequence of breaking my MacBook in anger, he’s punishing me by helping him with yardwork every single hour of the day. FML
Today, my dad threatened to kick me out and cut me off if I didn't apologize to his girlfriend, whom I don't get along with. She found the heavily used textbook I bought from a second hand bookstore, which is full of funny doodles and tons of harsh hate messages to a certain "Susan", which coincidentally is her name. FML
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Top comments
Sethro 1
I guess you probably shouldn't say " duh" in every other sentence then.
theguy33 1
Well I agree with your mom that is pretty funny.
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Comments (104)
abandonship 3
Sounds like something my dad would do >.
isitinmybedroom 11
Blast loud music outside of their room at random times of the night
flockz 20
lol that was meant for the idiot whose comment got moderated. great now i look like a derp.
Spinnmaster 1
What, you're dad doesn't already do that? I thought it was the "norm" for dads to do that.. I've been dealing with this my whole life!
margie2194 12
When you become a hobo, because you didn't do your homework you can always guilt your dad into thinking its his fault and then extorting every last penny he owns. Mwahahah (I got a little carried away there)
enonymous 9
I would harmonize that and get a barber quartette to sing a long with it.
mrjmaster1234 0
Ummm do hw at a friends house
oreobunbun 3
Buy a trumpet, fight back!
dre_bro11 12
68, there's a difference between doing homework whilst listening to homework, and actually trying to do well in your homework and learning what you're working on by nonbeing in a noise free environment. You get the work done both ways, but it's more beneficial to concentrate on what you're doing.
SneakyMuffin 0
MY FIRST FIRST EVER!!! Mummy and Daddy will be so happy!!! Well, here goes!!! FIRST!!!
Naomimi_fml 6
*facepalm*
krad204 21
Failure...
flockz 20
you're adopted.
whitesox365 0
Well at least nobodys gettin ther ass beat you dont want tht
lilwaynerockz_fml 12
That's why they make noise cancelling headphones.
DropTheDaggerxx 31
Even with noise-canceling headphones, you could probably hear the higher notes of the recorder, unless you had your own music up loud, which would probably be just as distracting.
lilwaynerockz_fml 12
Not with good quality headphones, along with music...
IphonFML 6
33 u idiot. OP wants no music so he/she could do homework.
christyxbee 15
Just don't say the word duh around him and all shall be right in the world, duh
lilwaynerockz_fml 12
43- excuse you, but I thought most people could do homework and listen to music. I guess I didn't know how many idiots we had here.
krad204 21
I've done that once with my son's trombone...
FMLandurstoo 9
Shame on you. I ******* hate idiot parents who can be annoying just because they're in charge.
krad204 21
Except that I can actually play it well, not just make random noises...
FMLandurstoo 9
Well good for you. I wouldn't want my parents playing my French horn though either but that's a different debate.
Sirin_fml 47
If your parents started playing the French horn at your age, Herb, I would call in an exorcist.
FMLandurstoo 9
My parents' spirits live on in my dog Jessie. Mmmmmhmmmmm
detroitsucks247 3
Well my brother says the word -****- every time he opens his mouth... -.I.. YOU
You_Need_Soap 6
This one time...
TheDeadlyTurtle 7
Don't call an exorcist when u can call ghost busters yah :D
FUCKNAMESBREH 0
Lul, or you could learn to take a joke, stupid prick.
angrymexican 8
Christian ghostbusters!
rachilio 26
I have a trombone.... Who wants to hear hang on sloppy. *grabs trombone*
txgirl2013 14
Smash the recorder.
StoryOfTheYear 15
Or go to a library.
thaCODgod 4
duh
isitinmybedroom 11
Or smash your dads face
theguy33 1
Well I agree with your mom that is pretty funny.
tragicnightmare 15
yes I agree, their mom is my hero of the day
X_Codes 11
duh!
lexex1 4
Your dad is an evil genius
Sethro 1
I guess you probably shouldn't say " duh" in every other sentence then.
SilverInGray 25
Better than saying 'like'.
tsim_fml 0
or "umm"
christyxbee 15
Well, DUH! Or is it no duh!? Kids these days...
Daralea 21
Bah, 46!! You're making my head hurt!
Buttsexpirate 9
Yeah no duh!
krysxkatastrophe 14
Are you too weak to break it or something? They're only cheap plastic, if that happened in my house that thing would be broken beyond repair.
yourlifeisbetter_fml 0
Slam the door into him while he's standing outside your room!
SnigglePoop 3
No.
XKXKKXK 10
I feel your pain. I hate when they play out of tune.